Five poor college students in Xiangfan, Hubei were disqualified from donating because they did not thank their donors. The story was met with a wide range of opinions and people were divided. Many of them think that the donor’s practice is not wrong; while some people express their sympathy for the five poor college students. So, who is right and who is wrong? Let’s analyze the psychological behavior of both parties from the perspective of psychology: First, let’s understand the poor college students who were disqualified from donations. As we all know, these college students come from poor families. Some of them may have felt too much hardship and family hardship since childhood, and if they lack sufficient care and guidance from the society and their families, they will taste the bitterness and helplessness brought by the economic difference between people too early. This undoubtedly traumatizes their young minds and makes them deviate from human relationships – especially between the poor and the rich. These children’s minds will be more extreme to internalize the image of poor, helpless, inferior and shy self and the image of rich people who are unkind and have ulterior motives, and these two images will build a distorted relationship between alms and begging, humiliation and anger. All of the above irrational perceptions in turn lead to strong inner conflicts when they accept donations in the face of school fees, family burdens and social expectations, and they feel more bitterness and sadness instead of joy and gratitude because, in their view, it costs dignity. From this, we can infer why these poor college students did not take the initiative to contact the donors in the days after receiving the donations, because in their view, contact with the donors would mean begging and being humiliated by themselves, and would mean rubbing salt into the wound of self-esteem again. Of course, there are also some students who have the mentality that they get financial aid as a matter of course because of their good grades and don’t need to thank them. This is actually a sign of low self-esteem from a psychological point of view. Only these children are defending themselves from experiencing excessive low self-esteem and worldliness by weaving an unrealistic, fantasy world and self-imagery of arrogance. Therefore, they are always prone to two extremes in their evaluation of themselves and the outside world, either completely idealized or completely depreciated. When idealized, they believe that the donor is a “good person” who does not need anything in return, and that they are also an “extraordinary person” who can enjoy the financial support of others for free. Once their dreams are shattered, they will fall into a depressed state of mind, thinking that their donors are just hypocrites with ulterior motives and that they are just a worthless “unlucky” person. Having discussed in detail the cognitive, emotional, and behavioral patterns of poor college students, let’s look at the psychological implications of the donors’ behavior. Undoubtedly, donors are widely praised by society for their helpful behavior. They provide financial support to students in their most difficult times without any material reward, but the problem lies in this so-called “no material reward”! Because the donors come from entrepreneurs who, through the excitement of business, know how difficult it is to start a business and how important it is to make a profit. So the promise of forgoing material rewards inevitably leads them to seek compensation in other areas. They ask students to report to them about their study and life, although it is a manifestation of their concern for students, but it cannot be ruled out that it is to satisfy the desire of a “savior” of the self-glorious image; participate in various fund-raising activities, although it is a kind of publicity of the new social civilization, but it cannot be ruled out that it is a means for the company to use these poor children to improve their own social benefits. Although participating in various fund-raising activities is a kind of propaganda of new social civilization, it cannot be ruled out that this is a means for companies to use these poor children to improve their social benefits. From this point of view, if these poor college students do not comply with their wishes and do not express their gratitude to them in time, then it is expected that their donations will be cancelled. Although some entrepreneurs say that the cancellation of donations is a kind of gratitude education for the students, in fact, this approach hurts them far more than it educates them. For it is tantamount to throwing the children once again into the desolate desert of the earth, making them once again validate deep inside their hearts the self-righteous and unrealistic sadness of the world – that there is no true love and care on earth, only exploitation and money. So, how should we look at this matter properly? In other words, what kind of mentality should donors have to donate and what kind of mentality should poor children have to accept donations? Let’s start with the donor: First, the donor may want to follow the national financial aid policy, because its educational function is more prominent and its effect is very obvious, and its ultimate goal is to make the students believe that they can finish their education through their own efforts and be responsible for their future. Secondly, donors should deeply understand the traumatized psychology and fragile self-esteem of poor students, knowing that what poor children lack most is not money, but true human love and self-esteem, so donors should not only provide them with financial support, but also always pay attention to the mental and physical health of children. When donors support and nourish them with a fatherly heart and motherly warmth, this complete love will allow the children to comprehend, cultivate, change and grow, and they will gradually be able to internalize the donor’s virtues of love and humanity. They express their gratitude to the donor with a kind of devotion to the society. As for the donated university students, they should accept themselves, believe in themselves and respect themselves. Neither over-exaggerate nor over-depreciate yourself. Always remember that although there are differences between people in terms of wealth and status, they are equal in personality; although everyone has different upbringing and living environment, they will get life experience, experience life happiness and refine life wisdom from it! We should always hold the belief that receiving donations is temporary, but giving back to society is permanent!