All aspects of the family are very important for the healthy growth of the child and the inculcation of his or her personality. Parents should make the cultivation of a sound personality the center of family education, pay attention to and strengthen the cultivation of good morals for their children, and abstain from behaviors that can cause negative effects in family education, so as to effectively construct a sound personality for children. The following is a list of the “eight commandments” of home education, to ensure that children can grow up in a healthy psychological environment, parents must not fail to see! The first commandment is not to educate only when you think about it. You must be persistent in educating your children, and you must not neglect the details. You see you are the one walking with children, need to demonstrate to the child how they should walk, such as not three people walking side by side, two people walking should adults or men leaning out. A friend of mine saw a grandmother with her young grandson on the bus when she visited the UK, the little boy stepped on first, only to be called down by the grandmother, who wanted to go first herself and said to the little boy, “Ladies first!” Gentlemanly education is probably taught from a young age like this. The famous American elementary school teacher Paul Clark wrote a book “excellence is cultivated”, Mr. Clark paid special attention to the details of children’s education, such as eating when you can not talk with food, pushing the door if there are people behind, to hold the door for him, such as to look at people with kind eyes, etc., a total of 55, are the details of children’s growth, in fact, these In fact, these details are also the “big end” of life, because behind the details is the big end. If you do not realize that you should always remember the responsibility, you do not live with your child, you may miss the critical period of growth, the latter education is difficult. Commandment 2: You can’t educate when you’re angry In education, it’s more important not to vent but to restrain. When our children make us angry, we must hold back and not rush to get angry first, because whatever we do, the first “first thought” that comes up is often problematic. Sometimes a child’s mistake may not be a big deal, just not to our liking, or the wrong time to hit the gun, as one of our friends said, came home from work exhausted, but also to cook, but saw that the child is not only not doing homework, but also threw toys on the ground, immediately fire up. I was about to “flatten” the child, so I pulled the living room curtains open, but I didn’t expect to see the autumn scenery outside, the weather is very bright, very beautiful, on second thought, the weather is so good, why should I be angry? Life is so good, why should I be so angry? When you think about it, your anger is half gone, and then you take your child’s hand and tell him how he should behave, and then he goes to clean up his toys and she goes to cook dinner. For parents, the so-called restraint, to avoid the “first thought”, that is, to teach our children also need to have a better balance. With children, perhaps we should also change the two idioms we are familiar with: justified and righteous, more often than not should be changed to “justified and righteous”. Discipline from strict, is also the principle of strict, the mind from strict, the attitude should be as sincere, gentle, patient. The third commandment: not to educate the child in public Even if the child has done the worst thing, you should educate him to take the child home, scolding and beating in public, often with very serious consequences. In a junior high school, it happened because the father slapped the child in front of teachers and classmates, the child immediately ran to the roof and jumped to his death, which is how heartbreaking tragedy, and in life such tragedies are really quite a lot. The most important thing in education is to respect the dignity of human beings, to protect the hearts of children, can not do this, there is no real education to speak of. We need to realize that whatever praise and criticism of children is an emotional interaction, parents are too strong, often leading to the child is no good, parents are too rough, children are often equally manic temperament. It is at school that special care should be taken to avoid being harsh with students in public. You can praise a person in public, or even in a grand manner. But when you want to criticize someone, you should also be careful and may want to do it in a private, quiet, and gentle manner. A wise teacher does not need to reprimand students harshly, and a wise parent is always able to realize that teaching children cannot be pursued for immediate results. The more you communicate with your child, the less you know how to communicate with your child, and the less you know how to communicate with your child, the less you will certainly understand your child, so if you usually have the opportunity to talk to your child, what will you say to him? A child in junior high school told me that the most common thing my mom and dad say to me at home is to eat quickly, do my homework quickly after eating, and go to bed quickly after doing my homework. As a parent, do you know your child’s inner pressure and pain? Can you get close to your child’s inner world? Children are better until they are in the third grade, but after the age of 10, they hardly know how to communicate. Once they have something to worry about, about 35% of them go to their classmates and friends, and less than 10% of them go to their parents and teachers, and their parents gradually fade out of their emotional world or are even absent. And in this case, parents and children’s conversations are more likely to turn into lectures, criticism and reprimand, and after the child is 13 years old, the child does not even give you the opportunity to criticize. Commandment 5: Try to avoid negative education Our culture lacks sincere praise and encouragement for people, the tradition of experiencing joy from a small thing, and the understanding that “life is meaningful only when you do something meaningless”. We are used to “doing big things” and achieving “big things”, and in contrast, we like to criticize, deny and imply negativity. Before you even try something, someone will remind you that you will definitely not do well; if something is a little difficult, the immediate thought is to back out; if something is not to your parents’ liking, it is likely to be met with sarcasm and sarcasm. These situations are very serious in the family culture. As a parent, changing yourself starts from restraining the desire to criticize, from changing the habit of “saying the right thing but saying the wrong thing”, from changing your habit of “not believing, not encouraging, not expecting”. It’s not about turning a blind eye to your child’s shortcomings, flaws and shortcomings, but about helping your child when he or she has the courage to try and change. Commandment 6: Try to avoid teaching your child while he or she is eating and sleeping Mealtime should be a warm moment for the family, a time to give thanks that we can live a healthy and good life in this world. Eating is a pleasure, eating is a communication, a beautiful communication, a beautiful gathering. Adults should increase the number of nice gatherings and decrease the number of boring social gatherings. And nice gatherings should be, first of all, inside the family. So don’t let your child tremble at mealtime and end up losing all sense of goodness about food. I also see some children who eat very fast, why fast? Just so you can’t criticize him in time. It’s not good for his stomach to eat so fast, and it’s not good for the absorption of food, let alone any table manners. And educating your child when he is going to sleep is not only ineffective, but it will also interfere with his sleep. When the child goes to sleep, his head is full of these critical messages and he will have nightmares. I also have a point, actually a person sleep well, the next day, see the world in a different way, the next day open the window, wow, it will feel the world is very beautiful. If you have nightmares all the time, and you don’t sleep well for three days, you’re full of haters. So let your child sleep well, let your child eat well, and even if he makes a mistake, you have to find a more appropriate and more appropriate time to teach again. This is actually doing good deeds to your child. The seventh commandment: don’t use other people’s children to simply compare their own children Every child has huge differences, every child contains secrets that we don’t know, every child has a reason to be “this way”. To teach a child, you’d better target his “this way”. Mozart played the violin well at the age of five, and composed music at the age of seven, that is Mozart. Li Bai, we also know that he has the story of iron pestle grinding into a needle, but he became a great poet or talent is the most important. For a child, a simple comparison can not solve the problem, may be patient to talk to him, patiently for him to make analysis, so that the child will not have low self-esteem, but also can reduce a lot of jealousy and hostility towards others. The first thing is that you usually spend too little time with your child and care too little, not doing your minimum responsibility as a parent. Secondly, it also means that you are more “vindictive” and like to turn over old scores. Sometimes it’s not that your words don’t make sense, but that your approach is wrong. The wrong way, education must not be effective. As a parent, all power means responsibility, and this responsibility forces us to change.