Family education is in fact the art of “moving the heart”, and if one cannot do the work to the heart of the child, the effect of education will often be pale and powerless. Therefore, in the process of educating children, every mother should strive to explore some of the “psychological laws” of the positive or negative impact, and tend to avoid harm to play their role, so as to scientifically guide the child to become their own ideals of the people in the dragon, the phoenix! Psychological law a: Rosenthal effect The famous American psychologist Rosenthal has done such a test: he put a group of mice randomly divided into two groups: group A and group B, and told the breeder of the group A that this group of mice is very smart; at the same time, told the breeder of the group B that he said that this group of mice general intelligence. A few months later, the professor of the two groups of rats to cross the maze test, found that the rats in group A is really smarter than the rats in group B, they are able to get out of the maze first and find food. So Prof. Rosenthal was inspired, and he wondered if this effect could also happen to people. He went to an ordinary high school, walked casually in a class, and then circled a few names on the list of students and told their teachers that these students had high IQs and were very smart. After some time, the professor came back to this middle school, and the miracle happened again; those few students whom he had selected were now really at the top of the class. Why did this phenomenon happen? It is the magic of “suggestion” that is at work. Everyone in life will accept this or that psychological hints, these hints are positive and negative. The mother is the person whom the child loves, trusts and relies on the most, but she is also the one who gives the psychological hints. If it is a long-term negative and bad psychological hints, it will make the child’s mood affected, and even affect its mental health. On the contrary, if the mother has high expectations and positive affirmations for the child, and nourishes the child’s heart through expectant eyes, approving smiles, and inspiring words to make the child more self-respecting, self-loving, self-confident, and self-improving, then how high your expectations will be, and how great the child’s future results will be! Psychological law two: the overrun effect The famous American writer Mark Twain once listened to a pastor in church. Initially, he felt that the pastor spoke well, moved people and was ready to make a donation. After 10 minutes, the pastor hadn’t finished his speech, so he got a little impatient and decided to donate only some change. After another 10 minutes, the pastor hadn’t finished, so he decided not to donate even a penny. When the preacher finally finished his long speech and started collecting donations, Mark Twain, out of anger, not only didn’t donate any money, but he stole$2 from the plate. This psychological phenomenon, in which too many stimuli, too strong and too long, cause psychological impatience or resistance, is known as the “overload effect”. The overload effect often occurs in homeschooling. For example, when the child makes a mistake, parents will once, twice, three times, or even four times, five times repeated on a matter of the same criticism, so that the child from the guilt of uneasiness to impatience and even resentment hate. Being “forced”, there will be “I want this” resistance psychology and behavior. It can be seen that the mother of the child’s criticism should not exceed the limit, the child should “make a mistake, only once criticized. If you have to criticize again, you should not simply repeat yourself, but change your perspective and say it in a different way. In this way, the child will not feel the same error is “grabbed and not let go”, boredom, rebelliousness will also be reduced. Psychological law three: Desi effect psychologist Desi once told such a fable: there is a group of children in front of an old man’s home playful, screaming day after day. After a few days, the old man could not stand it. So he came out and gave each of the children 10 cents, and said to them, “You have made this place very lively, I feel much younger, this amount of money as a token of appreciation.” The children were delighted, and still came the next day, frolicking as usual. The old man came out again and gave each child five cents, which was not bad, but the children went away happy. On the third day, the old man gave each child only 2 cents, and the children were furious, “Only 2 cents a day, do you know how hard we work?” They swore to the old man that they would never play for him again! In this parable, the old man’s method was simple: he changed the children’s internal motivation “to play for their own pleasure” into an external motivation “to play for cents”, and he manipulated the external factor of the cents, so he also manipulated the children’s behavior. The Desi effect can be seen in life. For example, parents often tell their children, “If you score 100 points on this test, I’ll reward you with 100 dollars,” “If you get into the top 5, I’ll reward you with a new toy,” and so on. Parents may not have thought that it is this improper reward mechanism, the child’s interest in learning a little bit of abatement. In learning, parents should guide their children to set up ambitious ideals, enhance the children’s feelings and interest in learning, increase the children’s motivation for learning itself, and help the children to reap the joy of learning. Parents’ rewards can be some things that are helpful for learning, such as books and learning utensils, while some rewards that have nothing to do with learning are best avoided. Psychological law four: the south wind effect “south wind” effect, also known as the “warm” effect, from the French writer La Fontaine wrote a fable: the north wind and the south wind than the power to see who can take off the pedestrian coat. The north wind first comes with a cold wind, cold, bone-chilling, the result is that pedestrians in order to resist the attack of the north wind, they wrap their coats tightly. The south wind blows gently, and then the wind and the sun shine, and the pedestrians feel the warmth of spring on their bodies, and begin to unbutton their coats, and then take off their coats, and the south wind is victorious. The reason why the south wind achieves its goal in the story is that it responds to the inner needs of human beings. This kind of psychological reaction, which is generated by inspiring self-reflection and satisfying self-needs, is the “south wind effect”. From this, we can know that the use of “sticks”, “intimidation” and other “north wind” type of education methods in family education is not desirable. The implementation of warm education, more “human touch” type of praise, cultivate children consciously upward, in order to achieve twice the result with half the effort. Psychological law five: the barrel effect “barrel” effect means: a along the mouth of the barrel is not flush, it holds the amount of water, not in the barrel on the longest piece of wood, but in the barrel on the shortest piece of wood. A child’s comprehensive academic performance is like a large wooden barrel, each subject performance is composed of this large wooden barrel indispensable piece of wood. The stable formation of a child’s good academic performance can not rely on the outstanding performance of a few subjects, but should depend on its overall situation, especially depending on some of its weak links. Therefore, when the child is found to be deficient in certain subjects, the child should be promptly reminded to spend more time on this subject, so as to “make up for the shortcomings”. Family education is actually a “heart” of the art, if you can not do the work to the heart of the child, the effect of education will often pale. Therefore, in the process of educating children, every mother should strive to explore some of the “psychological laws” of the positive or negative impact, and tend to avoid harm to play their role, so as to scientifically guide the child to become their own ideals of the people in the dragon, the phoenix! Psychological law six: Hawthorne effect Hawthorne factory outside of Chicago, the United States is a factory manufacturing telephone exchanges, there are better recreational facilities, health care system and pension system, etc., but the workers are still angry, the production situation is very unsatisfactory. Later, the psychology experts specialize in a test, that is, with two years, experts to find workers individually talk more than 20,000 times, the provisions of the conversation process, to patiently listen to the workers of the factory’s various views and dissatisfaction. This conversation experiment received unexpected results: Hawthorne factory output value increased significantly. Children in the process of learning and growing up inevitably have confusion or dissatisfaction, but can not be fully expressed. As a mother, we should try to make time to talk with our children, and in the process of talking, we should patiently guide our children to speak freely, say their own life, learning in the confusion, say their parents, schools, teachers, classmates and other dissatisfaction. Children in the “said”, there will be a kind of venting satisfaction, they will feel relaxed, comfortable. In this way, they will work harder in their studies and be more confident in life! Psychological law 7: increase and decrease effect The “increase and decrease effect” in interpersonal communication refers to: anyone hopes that the other party to their favorite can “constantly increase” rather than “constantly decrease”. For example, many salesmen are to seize this psychological, in the weighing of goods to the customer always first grab a small pile in the weighing tray and then little by little into, rather than first grab a large pile in the weighing tray and then little by little out. We in the evaluation of the child will inevitably be his shortcomings and strengths have to say a lot, and often use the “first praise and then depreciate” method. In fact, this is a very undesirable evaluation method. In the evaluation of the child, we may wish to use the “increase and decrease effect”, such as the child first said that some of the dignity of the small faults, and then appropriately give praise …… Psychological Law VIII: The Butterfly Effect According to the study, a butterfly in the southern hemisphere, occasionally flap their wings to bring up the weak airflow, due to the butterfly’s wings, and then the butterfly will be able to take the airflow to the surface. According to research, a butterfly in the southern hemisphere occasionally flaps its wings to bring up the weak airflow, due to the mixing of various other factors, a few weeks later, it will become a tornado swept across the U.S. state of Texas! Disorder scientists call this phenomenon “butterfly effect”, and made a theoretical expression: a very small cause, after a certain period of time and other factors involved in the role, can develop into a huge and complex influence. The “Butterfly Effect” tells us that educating children is no small matter. A correct and appropriate expression of a sentence or handling of a matter may affect the child for the rest of his life; a wrong and arbitrary one may cause the child to suffer for the rest of his life. Psychological Law 9: Labeling Effect During the Second World War, the United States was short of troops and the war did require a number of soldiers. So, the U.S. government decided to organize the prisoners in jail to fight on the front line. To this end, the U.S. government sent a few psychological experts to the prisoners for pre-war training and mobilization, and with them to the front line of combat. During the training period, the psychologists did not preach too much to them, but especially emphasized the prisoners to write a letter to their closest relatives every week. The content of the letter was standardized by the psychologists, describing how well the inmates had behaved in prison and how they had reformed themselves. The specialists asked the inmates to copy the letter carefully and send it to their dearest ones. Three months later, the inmates went to the front, and the experts asked the inmates to write in their letters to their loved ones how they obeyed the command, how brave they were, and so on. As a result, the performance of the prisoners on the battlefield was no less than that of the regular army, and they obeyed the command and fought bravely in the battle just as they had said in their letters. Later, psychologists called this phenomenon “labeling effect”, also known as the psychological effect of suggestion. This psychological law has an extremely important role in family education. For example, if we are always yelling at our children, “stupid”, “pig head”, “how so stupid”, “even such a simple topic can not do “If you yell at your child, he or she will become what we call “stupid” over time. Therefore, mothers must quit ridiculing and humiliating, blaming and complaining, threatening and intimidating language, and use more motivational language, more positive labels for children. Psychological law ten: the threshold effect There is often such a phenomenon in daily life: in your request for help, if you start to put forward higher requirements, it is easy to be rejected; and if you first put forward smaller requirements, others agree to increase the weight of the requirements, it is easier to achieve the goal, this phenomenon is known to psychologists as the “threshold effect This phenomenon is called the “threshold effect” by psychologists. This phenomenon is called the “threshold effect” by psychologists. In family education, we can also use the “threshold effect”. For example, first put forward lower requirements for children, and when they do according to the requirements, to be recognized, praised and even rewarded, and then gradually raise the requirements, so that children are happy to endless positive upward.