There is a geriatric hospital at the foot of Beijing’s West Hill, where many Alzheimer’s patients live in the psychiatric ward. These old people have experienced the peak of their lives and are now in their twilight years, moving from high to low, from splendor to silence, staying at the edge of life. With this inquiry and reverence for life, I have recorded a group of their stories. In the late autumn, the leaves of the ginkgo trees were sprinkled all over the place, and the leaves of the maple trees were red and yellow, which looked beautiful in the sunset. Several elderly people were sitting in wheelchairs and pushed by caregivers on a walk, either comfortably or calmly, no different from normal elderly people. One grandmother also kindly smiled at me, while the nurse described her situation to me: Grandma Li is seventy-three years old, her youngest son and daughter-in-law sent not long ago, her daughter-in-law said she was a virtuous and kind mother-in-law, widowed from the age of forty, has been pulling five children to adulthood, in those economically difficult times can imagine how difficult it is, their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is very good, the elderly Their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law had a good relationship, and the old man especially loved her youngest son. She had been suffering from memory loss for four years, and at first no one cared, but the memory loss was getting worse and worse, sometimes calling her son her brother, and always suspecting her family and the nanny of stealing her things. “Her daughter-in-law told us that the old man’s son went home and cried most of the day after sending him to the hospital. The old man had worked hard all his life, but now he had to suffer like this, and he felt sad. I can’t imagine what a forty-year-old man’s crying looks like. Maybe it’s no longer the crying when he was aggrieved as a child, no longer the tears when he was injured in a fight as a teenager, and no longer the heartache when he lost his love as a young man, but a heartache of guilt and a lingering attachment. After the hospitalization procedures were completed, we reassured the old man’s son that we never tie up patients here, and that they would have a lot of freedom under the precursor of safety. The couple spent most of the day in the hospital with the elderly, and when they saw that the elderly were gradually adapting to the environment here and could chat happily, they were relieved to leave. I looked at his back and thought about how beautiful it is to have such a big, strong man who is soft like a little boy even in front of his mother who is already demented. Stepping into the place where these old people live, the ward is quite neat and tidy, and the facilities are relatively good. I saw some old people over here resting, some listening to music, a few old people walking in the long corridor, their gait is slow, most people’s facial expressions are dull and indifferent, and they ignore you even if you greet them. The ward was quiet, and suddenly I heard an elderly female voice shouting, “Come back! Come on!” I asked the nurses what was going on, and when they laughed, they said it was Grandma Liu, who kept repeating this phrase, that she had lived here for a long time and had lost almost all her memories, and was sometimes irritable and anxious, that her only daughter had married a Japanese before her dementia, and that she had therefore turned against her daughter and stopped seeing each other. Maybe she was calling out to her daughter, maybe she was thinking about something else, who knows! I paid attention to this patient, her face was pale, full of sadness, perhaps malnourished, her thin body seemed unable to support the balance, sitting in the wheelchair body still tilted, from time to time shouted the words, sometimes high-pitched voice, sometimes low like the autumn wind whimpering, asked her who she was calling, her eyes looked at me indifferently for a moment, eyes and stared ahead, as if there was something she was looking for, but I knew her memory The most painful parts may have faded away, but I’m sure that her little daughter’s face will still be in her memory. The head nurse described another story to me: Grandpa Chu used to be a less famous conductor, his life was kind of bumpy and uneven, what impressed me most when I think of him so far was his concentration when he heard the music, his eyes were big, although he was already demented, but his eyes were very sharp, we had seen pictures of him when he was young, he was a typical handsome man, his emotional experience was very tortuous, he got married only at a very old age, after more than ten years After that he found a girlfriend younger than him, but within a few years she left him again and cheated him out of his house, he was left with no money and started to become depressed, his whole life collapsed, and finally depression became a disease, mental behavior abnormalities, slowly the symptoms of dementia worsened and he lost the ability to live his daily life. Since he had no children and his brother in the United States could not take care of him, he was transferred to our hospital for treatment. He was a lovely old man, and several of our nurses loved to tease him, asking him who he was when he was young, and he would smile and say it was himself. He can’t see anything at all. He sits quietly most of the day except for the occasional noise and uncooperative medication, immersed in his own world, perhaps he has selectively forgotten the complicated past. Is the fractured memories put together again? I hope he can no longer think of those cunning deception, the darkness of life, some people say that people with dementia are leaving happiness to themselves, leaving sadness to their families, maybe so. We’ve seen tapes of his performances, how suave he was back then! How impermanent life is, to be born like the splendor of summer flowers, to die like the quiet beauty of autumn leaves, perhaps life is like that, one encounter, one twist, and the trajectory of life changes completely, will we too have a destined fate? As his condition worsened, he had several more strokes, his health was getting worse and worse, due to the unit he was finally transferred to a nursing home in less than good condition, the last time I saw him was last summer, he was lying in a corner of that dirty and messy nursing home ward, one side of his limbs had been paralyzed, his limbs were stiff, I felt a pang of sadness in my heart, but there was nothing I could do, a few months later I heard he had passed away, we all sighed, perhaps In for his talent, for his difficult life felt the vagaries of fate. Dr. Lin, a cheerful northerner, told me that once Alzheimer’s patients have the disease, it continues to worsen and is irreversible, and that there is no effective drug treatment yet, but there are drugs that can slow down the progress of the disease. One of the most successful patients he treated was a dancer who had a unique temperament and was still beautiful and graceful despite being in her eighties. She was afraid of her family and wondered if these visions would scare her as well. She would often sigh, feel anxious, weep, and be suspicious. Whenever she took out those old pictures, we would admire and praise her, and she would be very happy, but most of the time she would sit quietly alone with a depressed expression. She often said “how come my son is not home after school”, “I have to pick up my grandson after school” and other inexplicable words, in fact, her grandson is very big, that time I asked her son what was going on, her son recalled half a day, and finally said that he did not go home from school once when he was a child The mother’s anxious memory is so strong that it can be deeply burned in the years, and when all the memories are gone with the wind, it will still emerge from time to time to recreate the scene of that year, which is perhaps the greatest mother’s love, it will travel through time and space, even if the illness also blocked, and will often It will travel through time and space, even if the illness is still blocked, and will often reappear in a different light. She stayed here for a short time, and after comprehensive treatment, her mental symptoms have improved greatly, and her symptoms have been stable since she was discharged home. Dr. Lin told me that Alzheimer’s disease is generally characterized by impairment of near memory first, while distant memory is relatively well preserved, and some of them are accompanied by serious mental disorders. Most people with dementia do not like to be alone and are afraid to stay in their rooms. He described to me a couple of university professors whose children were abroad and the old lady had brought up her nieces and nephews in the United States. Her children were all thousands of miles away, and it was our medical staff who finally helped to place the old man in the morgue. Their children may have had one reason or another for not coming back, but any reason between life and death seems so pale and powerless. Dr. Lin also told me about another case in which a nationally known lawyer came to consult him and asked him to appear in court to help. The focus of the issue gathered to whether the old man had dementia at the time of writing the will, and whether he had the ability to think and judge to deal with social issues, a question I also consulted several well-known experts in China, but the statements were different. In any case, the old person has passed away, in the last time of her life was the nanny gave her care and love, this cultivated affection may transcend the cold law, that a trust and gratitude is more precious than money. The care of dementia patients is the most important part of the elderly care system, because the number of this group is huge, there are about 100,000 people in Beijing alone, half of the elderly people over 85 years old have cognitive problems, many families cannot afford to pay for medical and care costs, but also because of the people’s concept that it is natural for people to be confused in their old age, now only less than 10% of dementia Only less than 10% of Alzheimer’s patients can receive regular treatment and considerate care. During my visit to their department, I had the opportunity to participate in a gardening activity organized by them, which was attended by patients, family members, nursing staff and medical personnel. -The body of the poem is as follows: When some memories fade away / Your wrinkled face has a strange look / Your world has become chaotic and confused / I began to be a little puzzled and amazed / Until one day the doctor said you had Alzheimer’s / I realized why you always wandered around looking for / The sweater I lost as a child / Why you always I realized that the only thing you have left behind are the memories of love / Mom, your grandson is no longer a toddler / he is strong enough to lift me up / today, he sent back his doctoral graduation photo from abroad / you should take a good look at him / the years are merciless / although your memories are lost in the wind like sand / Time goes by / although your temper becomes bigger and bigger / the words you say are always out of reach / but when you calm down / the look you show / is still as gentle and familiar / you have worked hard for most of your life / it is not easy to bring us up / can’t forget your back late at night sewing / can’t forget that you walked more than ten miles / just to bring fresh corn to your children / you always said that I should work hard and pay attention to Although I know you will never say this to me again / even the way you look at me has become strange / but I will always remember your teachings / we will treat you with care / never leave you. I went to this hospital several times, the last time I went was the winter solstice, a little snow decorated the courtyard and trees, I saw Grandma Liu again in a warm corner of the ward, this time she looked more peaceful, not shouting like the original, the nurse next to me told me that Grandma Liu’s daughter abroad came back to see her, when she saw her daughter her dull gaze became very divine, it had been It was not easy for her to recognize her daughter, she cried, and we were all touched by the wetness of her eyes, and the old man did not shout much after that. The years are a river, there is a turbulent whirlpool, there are also waves of calm, when experienced after the mountains and rivers running, eventually to merge into the sea, restore to the original state of life, the sunset is infinite, just near dusk, when life to the last few years, the heavens will be given to take away things one by one, good memories, the physical strength to act freely, and even wise thoughts ………….. Love, hate, sadness, happiness, perhaps this is life, I think, to express love early when you can express love, to create life early when you can create, cherish love, friendship, affection, in the echo wall of history will leave a different sound, which is also the biggest gain of my trip.