Everyone receives various psychological cues in life, some of which are positive and some are negative. Mom and dad are the people that children love, trust and rely on the most, and they are also the ones who exert psychological suggestion. 1, Rosenthal effect The famous American psychologist Rosenthal had done such an experiment, he divided the mice into two groups randomly: group A and B, and told the breeder of group A that this group of mice is very smart; and told the breeder of group B that this group of mice general intelligence. A few months later, the two groups of rats were tested in a maze, and group A was really smarter than group B. They were able to get out of the maze and find food first. This experiment also worked on humans. This is the magic of the “cueing” method. Some of these cues are positive and some are negative. Parents are the people that children love, trust and rely on the most, but they are also the ones who exert psychological cues. Long-term negative and undesirable psychological cues can affect the child’s emotions, and in serious cases, even his or her mental health. On the contrary, if parents have high expectations and positive affirmations for their children, the children will have more self-esteem, self-love, self-confidence and self-improvement, then how high your expectations are, and how great the future results of the children will be! 2, the over-the-limit effect The famous American writer Mark Twain once listened to a pastor’s speech in church. Initially, he felt the speech was very moving and was ready to donate. After 10 minutes, before the speech was finished, he was a little impatient and decided to donate only some change. After another 10 minutes, the speech was still not finished, so he decided not to donate even 1 penny. By the time the pastor finished his long speech and started collecting donations, Mark Twain, out of anger, not only did not donate money, but also stole$2 from the plate. This kind of stimulus is too much, too strong and too long and cause psychological impatience or resistance to the psychological phenomenon, known as the “overload effect”. This happens all the time in homeschooling. When a child makes a mistake, the parent criticizes the child once, twice, or even four or five times repeatedly for one thing, causing the child to go from guilt to impatience and even resentment. If you are “pushed”, you will have a confrontational mentality and behavior of “I want this”. As you can see, the criticism of children should not exceed the limit, “make one mistake, only criticize once”. In this way, the child’s boredom and rebelliousness will also be reduced. 3.Hawthorne effect The Hawthorne factory outside of Chicago, USA is a factory that manufactures telephone exchanges, recreational facilities, medical system and pension system are perfect, but the workers are still very dissatisfied and the production situation is very unsatisfactory. It took two years to find more than 20,000 individual conversations with the workers, during which they listened patiently to their various opinions and grievances against the factory. This talk experiment received an unexpected result: the output value of the Hawthorne factory increased dramatically. Children inevitably have confusion or dissatisfaction in the process of learning and growing up, but they cannot express it adequately. Parents should try to make time to talk with their children, and in the process of talking, they should patiently guide their children to speak to their heart’s content, to tell their confusion in life and learning, to tell their dissatisfaction with parents, schools, teachers, classmates, etc. After the child has “spoken”, there will be a kind of venting satisfaction, they will feel relaxed and comfortable. In this way, they will work harder in their studies and will be more confident in life! 4, increase or decrease effect of interpersonal communication “increase or decrease effect” is: anyone who wants the other party to their own like to “increasing” rather than “decreasing”. For example, many salesmen are seizing this psychology, when weighing goods to customers always grab a small pile in the weighing tray and then add a little bit, rather than grab a large pile in the tray and then a little bit out. When we evaluate our children, we always talk about their weaknesses and strengths, and often use the method of “praise first and then disparage”. In fact, this is a very undesirable method of evaluation. In the evaluation of children, we may wish to use the “increase and decrease effect”, such as first to say that the child some small problems that do not hurt the dignity, and then appropriately give praise …… 5, the threshold effect There is often such a phenomenon in everyday life: when you ask others to help When you ask for help, if you put forward a high demand at the beginning, it is easy to be rejected; and if you first put forward a smaller demand, others agree to increase the weight of the demand, it is easier to achieve the goal, this phenomenon is known by psychologists as the “threshold effect”. In family education, we can also use the “threshold effect”. For example, first put forward lower requirements for children, when they do as required, to affirm, praise and even reward, and then gradually increase the requirements, so that children are happy to endlessly active and upward.