In the small community of kindergarten, there are many things that happen every day. Maybe one day your child comes home happy, but one day he or she comes home with a small bruise on his or her face, or a visible tear on his or her clothes, or nothing but a teary-eyed child telling you, “Mommy, someone is bullying me! What should parents do at this point?
A. Worry about the child being bullied
As your child grows up, he is gradually oriented towards society, goes to kindergarten, and gradually has more complex interpersonal relationships from simply getting along with each other as a family. But as he goes to kindergarten, the problem of “being bullied” and “being aggrieved” in the child’s interactions with others gradually increases, and this is a problem that every mother worries about, worrying that her child will be bullied, suffer, and even affect The growth of the inner heart. Have your children ever encountered this situation?
A child’s “bullying” is related to his or her developmental characteristics. 3-5 years old is the stage where aggressive behavior is more likely to occur, and a child’s aggressive behavior may cause harm to others, but it may not be purposeful and therefore cannot be called “bullying”. The child’s logic is very simple, he sees someone else’s toys are beautiful, but they do not have, the heart will rise to the desire, the most direct is to reach out to take, if others do not give, he may grab, and even naturally with a bite, the child bitten feel pain, let go of the hand, and cry, he thus got the toy. In this way, in the mind of the child who bites, the idea may develop that by attacking he can get what he wants.
A little older, the child learns to use group relations to isolate a child; or blackmail other children to listen to him, or else he will beat him; or use ridicule and other means of verbal harm, aggressive behavior with the purpose of hurting others, then develop into “bullying” behavior.
Second, when the child is bullied, parents can take what countermeasures?
Children are the heart of their parents, who want their children not to be aggrieved and not bullied, but society is not like a warm family, you can let children do as you wish.
1, parental response one: teach your child to “fight back” is a form of self-protection and self-defense, in a competitive society, teaching children to learn to fight back is very necessary.
Of course, we can not teach children to bully others, but if others bully to their own head, they should fight back. Children will face a competitive society in the future, and if they are taught to be tolerant and yielding in everything, they will easily develop a weak and cowardly personality and will not be able to be self-reliant. So, let the child has the spirit of fighting back, learn to protect themselves is very necessary.
2, parental countermeasures two: rest, from the perspective of love, positive education, correct guidance, so that children learn to tolerate people.
Generally speaking, children usually suffer from bullying, is just pushed by children, if there is no serious injury, parents do not need to make a fuss, and should not use the “hit back” way to the opposite reinforcement.
We can seize such instances to the child to guide the education, so that he understands that this behavior will cause harm to others, is not liked by everyone, children should be united and friendly, and get along. To cultivate the child’s love, as far as possible to dilute the “hostility” between people, teach children to treat people with tolerance.
3, parental response three: children do not know what to do, should be resolved through parents or teachers, in order to help them understand right and wrong.
It is true that some children are particularly aggressive and like to bully others, the responsibility for this mainly lies with the parents’ education. Because children are young after all, it is up to parents to teach them by example and guide them properly. If a child is bullied, the first thing to do is to find the other parent and ask them to educate their child strictly. Teachers should also have some responsibility for guiding and educating children about their interactions. For children’s disputes, if parents are not directly involved, you can find the bullying children or their parents through the teacher to talk and negotiate education.
4, parental response four: the dispute between children to let the children themselves to solve, in order to allow them to gradually accumulate life experience in practice.
The fight between children is a common thing, is their interaction process is bound to experience. Children learn to get along with others in the process of today’s quarrel and tomorrow’s good, we can’t measure children’s behavior by adult standards. Parents should have an open mind and let nature take its course, believing that children will eventually find the “degree” of interaction and achieve psychological balance through exploration and practice.
What should parents do when their children are being bullied?
Some parents get very angry and upset when they learn that their child is being bullied, sometimes putting the blame on the teacher, or taking the child directly to the other parent to negotiate with them. These are not wise practices. What methods should parents master when their children are bullied?
1, can not use anger or scolding to aggravate the child’s psychological burden: the child was bullied, the emotions are already very bad, if again by the parents of blame, he will take the parents of sadness to understand his disappointment, should this feel very useless, the child will be more timid and afraid of things. Therefore, parents should let their children know that it is not his fault that he is being bullied by others, and tell him that no matter who it is, it is not right to bully others, and if someone deliberately bullies him, you will definitely help him.
2. Talk to your child: Find out what happened and the truth about your child being bullied, and help him analyze the reasons for it. Whether it is his responsibility, and others are deliberately bullying or unintentional, if it is unintentional, we must learn to tolerate the treatment.
3, do not “violence to violence”: teach children to learn to react in advance, take the initiative to solve the problem or ask for help, never “violence to violence”, using fists to solve problems is not desirable, but will make the child’s situation worse.
4, encourage children to make more friends: usually encourage children to make more friends, let go of the child to face their own things, and children get along, do not be afraid of children suffer, overprotective. The more friends your child has in kindergarten, the more cheerful and confident he will be, and the less chance of being bullied.
5, control their anger: When a child is really hurt more seriously, parents must control their anger, understanding the child’s young ignorance, and teachers together to analyze the situation, settle the emotions and the other parent to discuss a reasonable solution. Arguing will only hurt feelings and will not help.
It is not uncommon for children to quarrel, argue or even fight with each other. Especially nowadays, most of the children are only children, children as long as a little aggravation, parents will be very distressed. Occasionally let the child suffer some aggression and frustration does not have to be a bad thing, so that children know that the outside is not like home, outside people are not like parents, not what you want can be what you want, not all things can be achieved according to their own wishes. After a few experiences, the child will “learn from the mistakes, grow wiser”, will open the brain to think about countermeasures, this is growth. So it is very important to keep your own mind and guide your child correctly.