There is a kind of parent who thinks that children will always be children and will never do anything. Whenever children want to do something that they can do, their parents will always rush to the front and always say that you can’t do it and you are not good at it. Whenever they encounter difficulties, they will not take the initiative to think, but to think of their parents repeatedly said to them, I’m trying to no use, I can not do well, so in the heart will produce a sense of self-denial, and then inferiority complex will arise. In addition, this will also form a kind of psychology, called learned helplessness, children will think that I can not do anything anyway, so I simply do not do anything. Thus, parents can act as an umbrella for their children in everything, encourage them to do things of their own initiative, enthusiasm, even if they do wrong, it is also their contribution, do not easily deny this contribution, to do appropriate guidance. This umbrella, occasionally let the children exposed to the sun, may not be a bad thing. The most important thing is that you should be able to get the best out of your family. The child’s business is a big deal, what the child wants to eat, what he wants to do, and even more difficult to do. Over time, the child will form a kind of thinking, I want, parents can do, others have to listen to their own, will form a domineering personality, under the influence of parents, self-identity will be excessively high, that others are inferior to their own, in the future interpersonal interaction will encounter great frustration. And under the over-indulgence of their parents, their mental ability to cope with frustration is very low. When self-identity and reality conflict, it creates a psychological imbalance. Maybe they will become very low self-identity from then on and never recover. They also have poor independence, dependence on others, immature psychological age, poor social adaptation, and difficulty integrating into society, so as parents do not spoil their children too much. Stern parents – excessively rebellious children There is also a parental authority style of education, this parent believes that I am the eldest, the family I say, the tutor is particularly strict, do not allow the child to have any resistance, but where the child has a conflict with the parents’ ideas, will be under the parents’ harsh reprimand, do not dare to have a rebuttal. In such a family education environment, over time, the child will form a kind of reinforcement, parents are always right, there will be obstacles in the interpersonal aspects, do not dare to speak in front of other elders, such as teachers, supervisors, in short, older than their own talk more authoritative, he will not take the initiative to speak, because he has generalized this internal reinforcement, that they are right, they put forward is very likely to They are the shadow of his parents. There is another type of child who develops a personality where his parents are authoritative, but he is never convinced, and what his parents expect him to do, he will rebel against them in a different way. For example, his parents want him to study well, but he skips classes and gets into fights. More serious is the possibility of taking the path of crime. They often go against the expectations of their parents, and by confronting them, they can release the repressed energy in their heart, so that their inner needs can be satisfied. There is another type of education that is permissive, and some of these parents are forced to do so. Nowadays, society is very competitive and stressful, and these parents are busy working all day and have no time for their children, which can easily cause their children’s withdrawn personalities. So in the child’s growth stage is not absolutely can not be separated from the parents, parents are the child’s first teacher. Imagine if a small tree, not pruned, will grow into a big tree? The answer is no. We are not asking parents to give up their jobs to take care of their children wholeheartedly, of course this is impossible to do, all we are asking is for parents to take more time to spend with their children. When their need to be loved is met, perhaps they will try to love others, return the favor, and perhaps understand the difficulties of their parents. This way the child does not develop too far off track. Of course, the best is to educate in a democratic way, to give children the space to develop fully, to communicate and communicate with them as equals, and to accept their reasonable ideas and suggestions, they respect each other, considerate and caring for each other, respect for children is the first principle of family education,
Respect for children is the primary principle of home education, but love but not spoiled, strict but qualified, lenient but not permissive, free but not indulgent, in the process of home education to deal with the “degree” of the problem, is the secret of successful home education. Only by respecting the child, and convincing people with reason,
Only by respecting children and convincing them with reason can children form a healthy psychology.