I. The concept of sexual behavior therapy
The so-called sexual behavior therapy, referred to as “sex therapy”, is based on sexologists Masters (Masters) and Johnson (Johnsor) nearly 20 years of experience in sex therapy work, and through Kapiccolo, Lopiccolo and other sexologists to improve the formation of a set of behavior to treat functional The clinical treatment method of male and female sexual dysfunction.
Sex therapy is the treatment work of doctors to patients, the purpose is to directly carry out conditioning for sexual dysfunction, complete the work, the patient (couple together) and the doctor openly discuss the process and feelings of the work, exchange conditioning ideas, methods or experiences, in order to seek to use the most effective sexual stimulation, overcome the disadvantages from the subjective or objective factors, eliminate fear, gradually restore sexual function, maintain normal sexual relations, so that The couple can live a happy life. Patients with penile erectile dysfunction can change from a spectator to an active participant in sexual intercourse through sex therapy, and the patient can get sexual pleasure; patients with premature ejaculation can adjust their ejaculatory response through sex therapy, through training and cooperation and communication between sexual partners; patients with sexual indifference can find effective sexual stimulation and concentrate on getting normal sexual pleasure after positive work is completed; patients with vaginal spasm can be rescued from pain after sex therapy is performed and sexual intercourse is achieved.
II. Methods
We present the method discussed by Masters and Johnson. Couples are required to undergo tension therapy together for 2-3 weeks with daily counseling. A special, detailed approach was developed for the assignments and adhered to, based on our pre-experiments, and this approach was the seven assignments. The regulations and the process of each assignment and the responses to the assignments were recorded, and the assignment record book was given to the patients themselves to keep after all the counseling was completed. The homework prescriptions are written in the usual form of counseling, all in the form related to the most common sexual dysfunctions, such as penile erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and sexual frigidity. Depending on the nature of the disorder, some of the exercises require special attention, while others, on the contrary, can often be dispensed with at the discretion of this exercise.
Couples with sexual dysfunction should be clear that the ultimate goal of sexual activity is that both husband and wife can be sexually satisfied. The homework is often caused by the unsuccessful sexual intercourse caused by the uneasiness of both parties, so that the unpleasant tension replaces the good emotions, for this reason interferes with intimate caress, distracting attention. When doing therapeutic assignments, the first thing should change the mood of the couple, and the way to improve this emotional hair is to extend the time of caressing touch. Operations should be done in good conditions (closed door, warm and comfortable, soft light, pleasant music) for one hour a day. Couples should create an atmosphere of mutual understanding and a pleasant mood, and strive to attract each other with full care, such as recalling interesting things about life.
1, touch each other’s emotional zone. Men and women fully expose their respective bodies. The light in the house should be soft. One of them, often the woman begins, lying down on her back, while the other begins to gently touch the partner. Use various forms of light touch, while the person being touched gradually changes the state of his or her body. This is repeated three times, at five-minute intervals. The couple should try to experience their own feelings and be completely submissive. Do not touch the sexual organs and the woman’s breasts at first, but should gradually touch these erogenous zones of the body.
If some people can not focus their thoughts on the sense of touch, then do self-training during the day, should pay attention to make their energy to focus on their own feelings (such as tension, comfort, calm breathing, abdominal warmth, etc.). The female sexually indifferent people often use “lower abdomen feel warm” to cause sexual organs parts of the pleasant feeling. The exercise should not distract the mind to think about things that are not related to the experience of sex. You should be good at expressing your love and be happy and excited. Talking about worries and criticism is “sexually destructive”, even if it is an opinion on the exercise, it should be left for the rest of the work. This assignment is a basic must for both male and female sexual dysfunction.
2, the female sexual organ excitement feeling. At first, the couple should repeat the assignment (a) 1 to 2 times, then the male back against the wall or bed, the female back towards the male sitting between his legs, will be two legs around the male’s legs naturally hanging down. The male partner begins to gently rub the female partner with his chest and inner thighs, the disease begins to use his own hands to stroke the hands of his companion; gradually move his hands to his sexual organs – in a way that arouses the female partner’s pleasure. The intensity of the action of the man’s hand should vary with the degree of sexual excitement of the woman, but start winning slow and soft. If the woman has pleasure, the hand will be held tight, the male hand should be accelerated, the sexual organ of the excitement should not be a long time “dry”, if the female sexual organ moisture is not enough, the man can smear some lubricant on the fingertips.
The female partner in the experience of the male partner to study their own labia minora, clitoris and other parts of the sexual organs of the feeling, must be their various feelings fully expressed, sometimes, directly near the clitoris is not pleasant, then do not directly to stimulate it, but through the tissue around it gradually touched it. In addition, it is possible to determine the sensation of the vaginal opening by carefully inserting one or two fingers and pressing them inward, so that the woman does not usually reach sexual excitement. But if she is willing to “get close or press in” (e.g., pressing her legs together, tightening her muscles, etc.), this means she welcomes his action. If the woman is sexually aroused at this time do not suppress it, but make it obvious and natural flow out. Once the woman is sexually aroused, she will show a great understanding of her partner. The arousal that the woman feels from clitoral stimulation is sometimes biased. The woman should determine what kind of clitoral stimulation is more conducive to sexual arousal, and if this series of actions is unhindered, the female patient with sexual indifference gets the appropriate sexual arousal, which will promote sexual intercourse. This operation is more suitable for women with sexual frigidity.
3, the male penis stimulation sense. Repeat homework (a) to develop a pleasant mood and create a good environment. Assignment (iii) begins with the man lying on his back, the woman close to the man, the man pulls the woman’s hand to the penis, the woman stimulates the penis with her hand until he feels satisfied. The operation must be focused on the mind, pleasant, but to control the degree, do not let him ejaculate. At this time, the male partner should fully experience the sensations of each part. When stimulating the penis avoid unpleasant touching, you can first rub some lubricant on the head of the penis. When there is a sufficient erection, the female partner stops stimulating for a while and draws the male partner’s attention away from the state of excitement so that his penis erection disappears. Then stimulate again, erect again; stop again, and disappear again. Repeat three times for nearly half an hour, and the male partner should be well on his way to experiencing sexual arousal and the sensation of an erect penis. This set of exercises is a drill for male sexual dysfunction with good effect, and also has good effect on female sexual indifference patients.
4, penile excitement to lengthen. Each set of operations should be repeated before the operation (a). The female partner stimulates the penis until ejaculation (which requires the male partner to tell the female partner in time). There are two stages before ejaculation begins.
(1) The male partner anticipates that he is going to ejaculate then promptly tells the female partner to immediately stop stimulating and pressing the glans penis.
(2) Ejaculation should be controlled regardless of the method used. The male partner should learn to discern the first stage of sensation and tell the female partner in time in order to stop stimulation and wait until the level of sexual excitement decreases.
The aim of the operation is that the male penis can withstand up to a long period of stimulation (at first by the woman’s hand and later in the vagina) without ejaculation. The man should clearly talk about his feelings during the operation and learn to take timely measures in order to prevent the ejaculation reaction from “passing”.
Measures to prevent ejaculation.
1, the female partner forcefully press the glans penis for 2 to 3 seconds, and then let go of the hand, so that it is in a static state. When the pressure is timely and correct, the intention to ejaculate is suppressed. At this time the erection begins to decline.
2. Stop all movements and let the male partner be in a completely still state. When the penis has completely returned to its normal state, about half a minute or so, you can continue to start stimulating again. Repeat this 3 to 4 times. It is best to let the penis ejaculate. This is especially suitable for impotence, premature ejaculation and other sexual dysfunctions.
5. The feeling of both parties when the female sexual organ and the penis left in the vagina come into contact. When the man has reached a certain degree of sexual excitement, the woman is facing the man sitting on his lap and stimulating the penis in this position, the female sexual organ slowly approaching the penis, if the woman does not feel nervous at this time take the initiative to pull the penis to the vaginal opening with her hand and let the penis to stimulate the labia minora and clitoris. If the penis is very hard, the female partner sends the penis into the vagina. At this point, the couple remains quiet and carefully experiences the feelings when in this state. If the penis is not hard anymore, take it out, give new stimulation, make it hard and then put it back into the vagina …… and so on. After some time, the woman can start rubbing and concentrate on the sensation of the penis in the vagina. The man remains quietly lying still and doesn’t try to meet the woman’s demands for anything, but simply tastes the sensations himself.
This operation requires taking the penis out of the vagina several times and putting it in several times. When the man realizes that he is going to ejaculate, he immediately informs the woman and takes measures to make the erection disappear. This is repeatedly interrupted by rubbing three times and finally ejaculation. Impatience should be excluded during the operation. If you are afraid of pregnancy, you can use effective contraceptive measures.
6. Stimulation of the clitoris when the penis enters the vagina. Let the penis reach sexual excitement when entering the vagina is the purpose of the homework. After doing the first set of homework, the woman should move her hand down to the penis and stay in a quiet state. At this time, the male partner stimulates the clitoris with his hand, and once the female partner becomes sexually excited she will remove the male partner’s hand and carry out the rubbing action, prompting the male partner to reach the peak of sexual excitement. The penis must touch the clitoris when lifting and pushing. It should be clear that clitoral stimulation often leads to sexual arousal. Most women crave it if the clitoris and vagina are stimulated in tandem.
In further work, both the man and woman feel the sexual excitement coming on at the same time. When the woman stimulates the penis and puts the penis in the vagina, sexual arousal is not yet felt, and then the woman’s movements become greater and the penis stimulates the clitoris to the maximum. At this time, the couple’s sense of sexual excitement is very sensitive, creating a powerful condition for sexual satisfaction.
7, friction with stimulating action. A way of sexual intercourse is the woman lying on the man, with the two impact action of the sexual organs to rub each other; the other is the traditional way of the woman in the next, that is, the man put the penis into the vagina after the two legs raised on the woman’s legs outside, the woman’s legs straight, the man for pushing action, when the clitoris collision. The male partner generally should not push quickly when the female partner is not yet in a state of sexual excitement, and should not ejaculate when the female partner is not yet sexually excited. The man should consider the needs of the woman, if necessary, can be used to test the method to extend the intercourse time, control ejaculation. If the woman is also in a state of sexual excitement at this time, but pleasure comes later than the man, then the man can still continue to stimulate the clitoris after ejaculation so that the woman can reach orgasm and be satisfied.
If the above assignments are completed successfully, you can consider giving the patient some additional exercises to achieve regular sexual emotions, for example, the couple can change the sexual position in various ways to achieve greater pleasure. We hope that after the successful completion of the therapy operation, both couples will feel happy due to the emotional touch, even more than the sexual intercourse. This will enable them to love each other for a long time, instead of being limited to a short erotic process.