There are two definitions of premature ejaculation: one is that the domestic penis can enter the vagina that ejaculation, or intercourse not more than a minute that ejaculation is called premature ejaculation; the other is that more than 50% of the number of sexual intercourse, ejaculation before the female orgasm is called premature ejaculation.
From the perspective of promoting a high quality sexual life, the foreign definition is more accurate and reasonable. The domestic definition is too lenient, too “benevolent”, and does not point out the essence of the matter, but also ignores the feelings and status of women in sexual life. Personally, I think the domestic definition is inaccurate and even a bit self-deceptive.
Domestic and foreign studies have shown that more than 75% of men ejaculate within 2-6 minutes of intercourse, while women generally need at least 8-15 minutes of intercourse stimulation to reach orgasm. According to the foreign definition of premature ejaculation, wouldn’t that mean that many men are prematurely ejaculated?
Unfortunately, this is true. A recent social survey (see China Sex Survey Report) shows that “nearly 80% of women don’t know what an orgasm is all about” and one of the most important reasons for this is that men ejaculate prematurely and have sex for too short a time.
From an evolutionary point of view, premature ejaculation can be said to be innate. In the long evolutionary process, our ancestors survived in an extremely harsh environment. The harsh living environment requires men to end mating as soon as possible, to be prepared to protect themselves and their sexual partners from the possible harm of the beasts roaming around at any time. And women need about 30 minutes of lying down time to facilitate the fertilization of the egg, in the uterus “fixed” (bed), which is the most basic source of sexual disharmony. But in modern society, human beings have qualitatively improved the requirements of sexual life, and it is difficult to get a high quality of sexual enjoyment just by following the instinct to have sex.
In a sense, premature ejaculation can also be considered as a “concept” or “skill” disease. In some people’s minds, sex is simply “penetration, excretion”, he may not think or know that he is premature ejaculation. It is not uncommon for such people to be found in low literacy, closed social groups.
There are also people who know that they are prematurely ejaculated but mistakenly believe that it is impossible to regulate and treat it because they experience the urgency of the sexual urge. These people often do not know what behavioral regulation and self-improvement are.
Some people say that premature ejaculation is a “woman’s disease” and that it is only women who suffer, which is one-sided. It is important to know that men with premature ejaculation have a great sense of frustration. If you have the misfortune to hear a “useless”, then his self-esteem, self-confidence will be doubly hit, his pain is by no means less than women. Sex is a shared experience between two people, and the unhappiness of either party can overshadow the sex life.
So what are the causes of premature ejaculation? What are the factors that determine the length of ejaculation time?
Sexual behavior is a “stimulus-response” pattern of behavior. That is, receiving stimulation – to respond – to reach the highest degree of tolerance stimulation (threshold) – the end of the response
Among them, the length of the sexual response (intercourse) is determined by the highest degree of tolerance of stimulation (threshold).
For example, during sexual intercourse, the man responds to the woman’s appearance, voice, naked body, caress and other sexual stimuli, the penis erects and enters the stage of sexual intercourse, receiving further contact and friction stimulation of the sexual organs of both parties. When the stimulation reaches a certain intensity, that is, to the highest degree of tolerance stimulation (threshold), ejaculation reaction inevitably appears, the whole process of sexual response is over.
If the two sides are limited to hugging, caressing, kissing, naked frolic and other sexual stimulation, without entering into further sexual organ contact, sexual intercourse process, because the highest degree of tolerable stimulation (threshold), the normal human sexual response process can not be completed, there will be no ejaculation reaction.
Now, we know that the factor that determines the length of sexual intercourse is the highest level of tolerated stimulation (threshold). You can think of this as a “sensitivity switch” that determines the duration of intercourse, a switch that responds specifically to sexual stimulation. When the intensity of sexual stimulation reaches its sensitivity value (threshold), it turns on, allowing the ejaculatory response to occur and intercourse to end.
So, what sources of sexual stimulation does this sensitive switch have to stimulate it to respond?
In a broad sense, the switch responds to all sexual stimuli, including the activity of the sexual center of the brain (sexual needs, sexual fantasies), visual (visual stimulation of female appearance, nudity), auditory (pleasant and emotional words), olfactory (feminine odors), and tactile (close contact and friction of the body and sexual organs) are all sources of sexual stimulation. Among them, the most important source of sexual stimulation that determines the sensitivity value (threshold) is the tactile stimulation and the activity of the sexual center of the brain.
I. Tactile stimulation: This refers to the physical skin-to-skin and close contact and friction of genitalia (sexual intercourse), which is the ultimate sexual act and brings the most intense sexual stimulation. It is this sexual stimulation let the sexual response to reach the highest stage, that is, to reach the highest degree of tolerance stimulation (threshold), and finally stimulate the emergence of ejaculation, the end of sexual intercourse.
Second, the brain sexual center activity: this is relatively difficult to understand some. There is a sexual center in our brain, and the strength of its activity we will call it the excitability of the sexual center of the brain. This varies from person to person, and its excitability determines the length of the sexual response (intercourse).
For example, when the first sexual experience, some men just see the woman naked or just start hugging, sexual organs contact when the ejaculation reaction, this is because at this time his brain sex center excitability is too high caused by. Even if the couple has been married for a while, after a period of separation, his brain’s sexual center is more excited due to the longer period of time without sex. The first time you start having sex together again, the excitability of the sexual center of the brain will also be too high, resulting in a shorter intercourse time.
Or: When you just start to have sex, because you are too young to be recognized by your family and society, you can only have sex “secretly”. The environment of sex is not good, fear of being discovered, too nervous and overexcited, subconsciously also want to ejaculate as soon as possible to end sex. It is easy to have a touch and go, a hasty conclusion.
Another situation: some men after the first ejaculation, rest a few minutes to a few hours after intercourse again, the intercourse time will be much longer. This is because, after the first intercourse of ejaculation, the sexual excitement of the brain’s sexual center has been greatly reduced, at this time, the intercourse time is extended. However, this kind of night repeated multiple intercourse is not conducive to sexual health care, should not be advocated.
After knowing the factors that determine the length of sexual intercourse, we can know why there is premature ejaculation.
The reason for premature ejaculation is too sensitive to sexual stimulation and too high excitability of the sexual center of the brain.
A. Too sensitive to sexual stimulation: For most men, the sense of touch is the primary source of sexual stimulation. This includes the contact of various parts of the body and sexual organs, the most important of which is the contact of the genitals.
The nerves of the external genitalia are more widely distributed, with the nerves of the glans mucosa being the most sensitive. During sexual intercourse, the close contact and friction of the sexual organs brings about strong stimulation, thus stimulating the emergence of ejaculatory response.
Patients with premature ejaculation often have genitalia that are too sensitive to sexual stimulation, which leads to premature ejaculation at the first touch. Among the common ones are.
1, foreskin is too long: especially when the foreskin is usually too long and the glans can be exposed after erection. The glans is overprotected by the foreskin, the nerve sensation becomes very sensitive, and the slightest contact will have the feeling of “electric shock”. The close sexual organ contact and friction during sexual intercourse is too intense for him to stimulate, and thus premature ejaculation occurs at the slightest contact.
In such cases.
(1) If the foreskin can be turned up to reveal the glans and there is no pain and discomfort during erection, surgery is not required. You just need to get used to the foreskin being turned up, so that the glans is used to rubbing against the underwear, so that the glans does not become overly sensitive and cause premature ejaculation.
(2) The foreskin is usually turned up to reveal the glans, but when erection occurs the foreskin mouth is too narrow causing pain and discomfort, which requires surgery.
2, wrong masturbation, ejaculation: in a sense, this can be said to be “self-imposed premature ejaculation”. For the majority of young men, masturbation is inevitable, and it is the only way to let off steam when they don’t have a sexual partner. The actual fact is that you can find a number of wrong ways to get the best out of the situation.
(1) low stimulation intensity: most people masturbate by way of the hand to stimulate the penis, glans, this loose stimulation is generally weaker than the stimulation intensity of sexual organs close contact and friction during sexual intercourse. After getting used to this loose stimulation ejaculation, the stimulation intensity (threshold) to stimulate ejaculation will be low, that is, my metaphorical “sensitive switch” is too sensitive. This brings the potential for premature ejaculation during future intercourse. Some friends use quilts, pillows and other items to masturbate, so the stimulation of the stimulation of the intensity is even lower, more likely to appear in the future premature ejaculation.
So, I advise young friends better use sex toys (female genitalia imitation) for masturbation, so that the genital contact, friction intensity closest to sexual intercourse, thus reducing the chances of premature ejaculation in future sexual life as much as possible.
(2) fast masturbation: bound by traditional views, masturbation is considered a “shameful” thing. In addition, most young people do not have their own independent living environment, in order to avoid being discovered by family members, classmates, masturbation is often sneaky. In this way, the habit of rapid ejaculation, a short time to complete the masturbation. This is the first time I’ve ever seen a woman with a newborn child.
（The actual fact is that you will find a lot of people who are not able to get a good deal on this kind of things. The patient with this disorder achieves orgasm and ejaculation by rubbing his genitals against the female body in crowded places (buses, markets, cinemas, etc.), which leads to too sensitive a sense of touch and premature ejaculation.
Second, the sexual center of the brain is hyperactive and dysfunctional: this includes the excitability of the sexual center of the brain is too high and the formation of pathological neural reflexes.
1, the sexual center of the brain is too excited (hyper): excessive masturbation patients often have a description of “forced masturbation”, they have a feeling of “drug addiction” that can not calm down without masturbation. This is because the sexual center of the brain is overactive (hyperactive) after excessive masturbation, and only after masturbation can this hyperactivity be relieved to some extent, thus giving the person the feeling of being “forced” to masturbate. This is not only due to excessive masturbation and overdraft of their physical health, but also because the sexual center of the brain is too excited and too sensitive to sexual stimulation, which is one of the important causes of premature ejaculation.
2, brain sexual center dysfunction (formed a pathological nerve reflex): this contains a wide range, is the end result of premature ejaculation caused by premature ejaculation, which is caught in a vicious circle after premature ejaculation leads to the body to form a pathological nerve reflex.
This is relatively complicated. The human sexual reflex is regulated by a complex endocrine system, the hypothalamic-pituitary-gonadal axis, and when sexual dysfunctions such as premature ejaculation and impotence occur, the smoothness of this endocrine system is broken and endocrine disorders occur. Eventually, this sexual central dysfunction leads to the appearance of pathological neurological reflexes.
For example, after all the above-mentioned conditions that lead to premature ejaculation appear, they fall into a vicious circle. That is, this stimulus-response pattern becomes fixed and a wrong set of neural reflexes is formed, which is medically known as pathological neural reflexes.
Another example: some patients do not have any of the above-mentioned bad habits, but they develop premature ejaculation. This is often due to the fact that there is no way to understand the most basic sexual knowledge when you just start having sex, and you just go on instinct to have sex. We know that more than 75% of normal men are ejaculating within 2-6 minutes of intercourse, just by instinct to have sex without learning and summarizing to improve is unable to meet the women. In this way, they are at a loss for sexual knowledge, sexual skills, and slowly get used to, fixed the sexual response, the formation of a pathological nerve reflex, the emergence of premature ejaculation.
If they are aware of their own shortcomings, but struggle to find a solution to the problem, or if the woman has complaints about it, it will add to the patient’s mental burden, causing excessive nerve center tension and central nerve dysfunction, aggravating premature ejaculation.
The most important reason for functional premature ejaculation is the formation of a wrong sexual response pattern due to various unfavorable factors, which is medically known as the formation of a “pathological nerve reflex”. To cure premature ejaculation, we must correct the formed pathological neural reflexes and re-establish the normal sexual physiological neural reflexes, which I will discuss in detail later.
Other factors that lead to premature ejaculation.
1, physical health factors: physical weakness, fatigue, lack of rest or other physical diseases, not suitable for sexual life. If you force yourself to have sex, your body will instinctively take protective measures to end intercourse as soon as possible to protect your health, and premature ejaculation is inevitable at this time.
2, mental, environmental factors: bad mood, emotional problems, or poor lovemaking environment, too nervous and worried will affect the sexual interest in lovemaking, mood, subconscious desire to end sexual intercourse as soon as possible, which leads to premature ejaculation.
3, inflammation: when there is inflammation in the genitals, such as urethritis, prostatitis and other cases, due to the stimulation of inflammation, it is also easy to lead to the early end of the sexual response and premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation will disappear after the inflammation of this situation is cured.
By the way, some people and even some “doctors” think that premature ejaculation must be caused by “prostatitis”, I can only sigh, in that case, the Chinese “prostatitis” is too much. The actual fact is that the actual number of people who are in the marketplace is a lot higher than the international incidence of prostatitis.
The prognosis of premature ejaculation: Generally speaking, the most common consequence of long-term premature ejaculation is the transformation of the sexual system function from hyperactive to inhibited, and eventually impotence. This is because.
1. premature ejaculation gives rise to great frustration and a great blow to self-esteem and self-confidence. If he is then complained and ridiculed by his sexual partner, he is more likely to become fearful, afraid to face it and adopt an avoidance attitude, which manifests itself in behavioral abandonment and impotence.
2, premature ejaculation, can not experience and enjoy the male feelings of “conquering” the opposite sex, “gift with the opposite sex pleasure”, can not meet the male self-esteem and self-confidence. Premature ejaculation is a low quality sex life that is not fun and sometimes even humiliating. Behavioral science has shown that humans will give up behaviors that have only negative feelings (termed ‘no positive reinforcement’), and slowly, this manifests itself in behavioral abandonment and impotence.
3. Impotence does not appear as a complete inability to get an erection all at once, but as a slow, long-term process. Generally the most obvious change is the prolongation of the non-return period, which is the period of time after ejaculation when the penis is able to respond to sexual stimulation again and the penis becomes erect.
Generally speaking, if the period of inactivity exceeds 24 hours, it is an early sign of impotence.
Treatment of premature ejaculation
Through the above in-depth understanding, we already know that to cure premature ejaculation, we must correct the formed pathological neural reflex and re-establish the normal sexual physiological neural reflex, which requires systematic treatment and sexual behavior regulation.
The specific methods and steps are as follows
A, correct endocrine disorders, restore healthy body (back to the starting point): above has been said, the human sexual reflex is regulated by a complex set of endocrine system hypothalamus – pituitary – gonadal axis, when there is premature ejaculation, impotence and other sexual dysfunction, the smoothness of this endocrine system is broken, there is an endocrine disorder. See Why does dysfunction lead to endocrine disorders? At the same time, premature ejaculation has a formation process in which, suffering from the disease, premature ejaculation patients are often accompanied by different degrees of overall body quality decline.
Therefore, the first step in treatment and regulation is to correct the endocrine disorder, restore and improve the quality of the body. It is possible to understand “back to the starting point”, also can be understood as the “problematic car” sent back to the factory “warranty”.
1, suspend sexual activity (masturbation, sexual intercourse): the purpose of suspending sexual activity is to allow the body to have a relaxed environment, sufficient time to repair, recuperation. Until the sexual system to recover well, there is an urgent sexual physiological impulse can restart the sexual behavior.
The amount of time to suspend sexual activity depends on each person’s age, physical fitness, and the severity of the condition, which varies from person to person. Some young, physically fit and lightly ill people may have urgent sexual physiological impulses after 2-3 weeks; while some poorly fit and seriously ill patients may take 2-3 months or more to recover and have urgent sexual physiological impulses again.
What is considered a “natural and urgent need for sexual impulses”?
This refers to the need for sex that comes from within. It is an instinctive need for sex that is ignited in the body without receiving external sexual stimulation. For example, if you have stopped masturbating, have not been exposed to pornography, and have not been close to the opposite sex, there is an unexplained sexual urge in your body when you do not think of pornography. This is a natural and urgent need for sexual physiological impulses. Then you can enter the next stage of sexual treatment.
2.Correction of endocrine disorders.
Why does functional dysfunction lead to endocrine disorders? Already explained clearly, functional sexual dysfunction will lead to endocrine disorders. Not to correct the body’s endocrine disorders, is to let the body “with disease operation”, resulting in the reconstruction process of sexual behavior half-heartedly, increasing the difficulty of successful correction.
I personally believe that Chinese medicine is more effective than Western medicine in regulating endocrine disorders. Please refer to “medication for sexual dysfunction”.
3, sports exercise to improve physical fitness: to enjoy sex, must have a good physical fitness, this reason is not difficult to understand. At the same time, the right sports can adjust the body to the best state, which is also conducive to let the sexual system function to a new ideal stage.
You can think of this as “repaying your health debt”, i.e. compensating for the past inappropriate sexual activity on the health of the body overdraft. At the same time, it also lays a solid physical foundation for the long term enjoyment of sex in the future. If your body has been good, it would be best.
Exercise to aerobic exercise is good.
Aerobic exercise is the need to consume a lot of oxygen sports such as: jogging, swimming, cycling, aerobics, etc.. As a result of such exercises need to consume a lot of oxygen, so that the body’s blood circulation system and respiratory system to get effective stimulation, so as to effectively regulate the function of the body systems. Aerobic exercise on the body system function of the exercise effect is far more ideal than the anaerobic exercise (weight lifting, sprinting, etc.) effect. This is the conclusion reached by Dr. Kenneth H. Cooper, M.D., of the U.S. Air Force Office of Exercise Research, after years of research, and is shared by most kinesiologists around the world.
The key points of aerobic exercise are.
(1) Consistency. Adhere to 4-5 times a week, each exercise at least 15 minutes, preferably 30-60 minutes of exercise time.
(2) step by step. At the beginning of the exercise should not be too much, as long as there is shortness of breath, heart rate accelerated feeling on it, and gradually increase the amount of exercise in the future.
(3) after exercise forging, the body is prone to fatigue. At this time, we must pay attention to the rest time is sufficient, preferably 1-2 hours more than usual sleep time, so that the body has sufficient rest and recovery time. This will not be in a state of chronic fatigue, so that people have the illusion that “the body is worse after exercise and exercise”.
For more information on aerobic exercise methods, see the detailed introduction on sexual nutrition and health.
Some patients are not very clear about the meaning of exercise: “Can exercise cure premature ejaculation?”
No, exercise forging is not a cure for premature ejaculation, it is a way to build a solid physical foundation for enjoying sexual life.
Because many patients have a long experience of excessive sexual activity (including masturbation) and mental stress, they often experience a large decline in physical fitness. Many of the so-called “kidney deficiency” symptoms in Chinese medicine are the manifestation of the decline in physical quality, such as: mental deficiency, physical weakness, dreamy and easy to wake up, back pain, easy fatigue, etc., these are actually the manifestation of the decline in physical quality.
The purpose of exercise forging is to regulate and improve the overall quality of the whole body. To enjoy sex, it is necessary to have a good physical fitness, which I believe no one will doubt. If your body has been kept in good condition, then you should also adhere to this good habits ah.
Second, re-establish the normal sexual physiological reflex, that is, the stage of sexual behavior treatment (restart): I liken the first step to go back to the starting point, that is now the stage of restart.
You can understand it this way, after the above treatment and conditioning, your physical health is restored to good, back to the stage of just beginning to contact with sex. You can also think of it as a “car” that has left the factory after a “warranty” and it is time to learn “driving skills”.
This is medically called “re-establishing normal sexual physiological reflexes” and the method of learning “driving techniques” is called “sexual behavior therapy” method.
In the above study, we already know that the root cause of premature ejaculation is too sensitive to sexual stimulation and too high excitability of the sexual center of the brain, that is, my metaphorical “sensitive switch” “too sensitive”.
This “sensitive switch” can be adjusted, and this must have confidence! Because, this “sensitivity” is not born, but formed through different experiences in later life slowly habit. This is not irreversible, it is completely correctable.
For example: the vast majority of young men for the first time when they see a mature woman naked, the blood will boil, excited. At this time, his brain’s sexual center is very sensitive to the stimulation of the naked body, “sensitivity” is very high, it is easy to appear a touch. But with the rich experience of sexual life, slowly, will get used to the stimulation of female nudity, at least, will not be as high as the initial excitement. This is the unconscious “sensitivity” adjustment process.
The fundamental purpose of sexual behavior therapy is to reduce the excitability of the brain’s sexual center, improve the intensity of tolerance to sexual stimulation (threshold), that is, the “sensitivity switch” “sensitivity” “down”, so as to prolong or even control the duration of intercourse at will. This is a way to prolong or even control the duration of intercourse at will. This is a way to learn the war in the war, so that you can really cure premature ejaculation completely.
1, when the first step has been carried out for a period of time, there is an urgent sexual physiological needs, you can start to carry out sexual activities and sexual behavior treatment.
2, continue the above analogy, “vehicle warranty” is completed, we must learn the correct “driving” method, otherwise it will “repeat the same mistakes”, this is the meaning of sexual behavior therapy This is the meaning of sexual behavior therapy.
In sexual behavior therapy, the idea of “satisfying” the woman should be put aside for a while and take the initiative. The best thing to do is to communicate with your sexual partner and get their understanding and cooperation. For those who do not want to let their partner know. It is also an option to not tell her and take the initiative yourself. Generally speaking, Chinese women generally lack initiative, which facilitates the sexual treatment of men.
Incidentally, a well-known American sexology research center offers sex therapy with professionally trained men and women, which works best. But this has caused great controversy even in the United States. I believe that it will be difficult for such a sex therapy facility to emerge in China in the foreseeable future.