The child is very afraid of greeting people, every time he is asked to greet someone, he purses his lips, while shrinking back, while hooking his eyes to look at his mother and father, not to say or not to say. You stand aside, afraid of offending the other party, feel embarrassed, feel that you have not taught your child well, you can not help but begin to reproach: “Children can not be so rude ……” you feel depressed: “really unfair It’s fair, why are other people’s children so lively, self-effacing and pleasing to the eye, and your own children are so unenlightened? The love of greeting is inborn and also influenced by parents. Research has found that people’s personalities are both inherited and acquired by the environment, and it is difficult to say which is more important. Children who are naturally more fearful are usually able to comply with adult requests and shyly whisper “hello auntie”. But the more introverted and sensitive personalities are wary of strangers, and often have to go through a painful internal struggle to be friendly and open to a stranger they have never even met. If your child doesn’t like to say hello, perhaps you should reflect on this: is it inherited from you and your wife? When either of you were young, were you also afraid to greet strangers? Maybe it’s not all your child’s fault that he or she doesn’t like to say hello. Fear of life is the child in self-protection! In fact, a child’s fear and shyness of strangers is an innate ability to protect themselves. You must remember that your baby was fine to be held by anyone until he was five months old. But around six months of age, all of a sudden, except for the mother (the primary caregiver), it seems that he does not like anyone, and whoever holds him, he turns his head and cries. We usually use the term “stranger anxiety” to describe this phenomenon. The vigilance developed in early childhood is an innate ability of infants to protect themselves, and through that ability, they gradually learn to distinguish and trust others. Unfortunately, many adults ignore this observation, this “security” process, when leading a young child to the first person he meets. What worries the child is that before he has time to react, the stranger will be close to him, touching his head and patting his face. If you were a child, how would you feel? Have you ever thought about your child’s feelings when you blame them for not saying hello? Whenever I hear adults say this to children, I always feel so uncomfortable. Having been a child, and now dealing with young children, I know how it feels to be told by adults that they have “no manners”, which is a kind of shame and frustration. The shame is that you are not good, not sweet; frustration is that you do not do well, let adults down. And all of these feelings have to be pulled out at the same time in public, in full view of everyone. As an adult, I feel bad about being humiliated in public, so why do I have to impose the same pain on my own children as a parent? The child is still so young, really tolerate it? The harmful effects of public humiliation of children 1, so that the child produces a sense of guilt: not recognized, and hear adults repeatedly say they are rude, he will produce a sense of guilt; 2, hurt the child’s self-esteem: verbal attacks will hurt the child’s self-esteem, so that he feels small, worthless, very ashamed; 3, later may avoid feelings: hurt the child’s dignity, the biggest impact is that the child does not feel that they should face their own thoughts, emotions and feelings, emotions and feelings.