The family is the foundation of individual happiness, however, it can also be a hotbed of misfortune. Quarrels between parents, the tragedy of divorce, and conflicts between parents and children. These issues haunt the family, creating conflicting relationships between parents and children and creating tragedy in the family.
In the past, the family was a unit with various functions such as education, recreation, religion, economy, welfare, and defense. With the progress of the world, one by one, the functions of the family have been replaced by social functions. For example, the function of education is taken over by the school, the function of clothing, food and housing by the entrepreneur, the function of welfare by the welfare organ, and the function of entertainment by the entertainment organ to share the functions of the family.
So the dependence on family life is weakening, and the family is becoming more and more distant from each other, leaving behind the bond of love between families. As soon as this love cracks, the family begins to split and collapse, not only losing the functions of the family, but also hindering the development of the physical and mental health of the child .
Problem families are divided into
I. Families with incomplete parents The so-called families with incomplete parents are both families where the parents are dead, missing, separated, divorced, permanently imprisoned and where one or both parents are incomplete.
Second, immoral families and entangled families This kind of psychological family breakdown has a great impact on children, even more than the lack of parents in the family. For example, parental discord and quarrels among family members can deepen all kinds of tensions and invite distractions. Barriers in the parent-child relationship caused by the parenting mistakes of the protector are also a cause of psychological problems in children.
1. Punishment type Corporal punishment, abuse, intimidation, and overly strict requirements are applied to the child. If the child has some problems, use rough scolding, attack and other methods to punish.
2, strict type Although the heart is like the child, but in ordinary times, but too strict supervision and mandatory, with orders, prohibitions, criticism and other means to monitor the child. Children raised in such a family are generally obedient, lacking in autonomy and independence, and have a sense of inferiority and maladjustment.
3. The extravagant type forces children to accept the demands and ambitions of their parents, ignoring their qualities, abilities, adaptability, hopes, etc. The child is specifically required to conform to the direction and level of the parents. This kind of parenting often makes the child feel restless, anxious, and lacking in success and satisfaction. The child is prone to adopt an avoidant attitude, run away from home, prone to neurosis.
4, coddling type Excessive pampering and unprincipled patronage of children, children do bad things also to cover up, always want to keep the child around. The children raised in this way are self-centered and have difficulty in self-control. The child’s patience for discontent is also weak, and his or her actions are often impulsive and trigger-happy, and life is chaotic.
5.Contradictory Parents sometimes blame and forbid their children for the same action, but sometimes avoid and reward them, and lack consistency. Children raised in this way are emotionally volatile, disturbed, and prone to deepening feelings of inferiority, and often act in a maladaptive manner.
6.Inconsistent Parents have different attitudes towards child rearing, for example, the father refuses and opposes, but the mother is protective and supportive, and the child is influenced by two different attitudes at the same time.
The child’s emotions are as unstable as those of the contradictory type, especially when the father rejects and opposes, but the mother is protective and supportive, which can easily lead to a fierce defiance and anti-social tendencies.
The psychological problems of children and adolescents are often set in the context of the family and society.
Most children and adolescents in single-parent families have mental health problems, such as early maturity, indifference to others, poor interaction, hostility and conduct disorders. This may be related to the fact that parents were often aggressive, quarrelsome and hostile to each other before their divorce, causing children to receive more negative emotions and suffer early trauma to their young minds.
Children from single-parent families also show a high incidence of poor socialization and hostility. This is probably related to the way parents get along with each other and the model they provide for their children’s interpersonal relationships.
When parents are trustworthy, supportive and encouraging, and have a positive emotional response, children can feel that others are looking out for them, and thus can develop effective interpersonal skills, be confident enough to exert influence, and also feel emotionally secure. In contrast, abused or neglected children may develop anxious, ambivalent, or avoidant attachments with their parents.
Maltreated children are less likely to be aggressive or withdrawn than non-maltreated children, and have difficulty forming friendships with other children, resulting in feelings of alienation and loneliness. Children’s needs are not met, and children themselves lack enthusiasm or are indifferent to things. This has a significant impact on the formation of secure attachments in children.
Part of what makes it difficult for children with insecure attachment types to form and maintain friendships may be greater social ineptness, withdrawal and lack of confidence for fear of rejection.
Neglect or interruption of child care by both parents is an important feature of the behavior of parents with abusive tendencies. Children become more aggressive when either parent’s neglect or irresponsible behavior toward the child continues or is frequent, and exhibit insecure parent-child attachment frustration, withdrawal, antisociality, and weak self-esteem.