Ms. He wrote to say: I have been married for two years, my husband is 33 years old, career workers, usually busy, there is financial pressure, from childhood slightly weak physical fitness. After the marriage, we are very good feelings, my husband also special love me, feel that every time sex in order to consider my feelings, he will even be committed to his own. It turns out that our sex life averages about 2 times a week, and sex lasts more than 30 minutes almost every time, but 2 months ago we started to feel that our husband had problems, and many times he ejaculated without inserting his penis into the vagina. Now he is avoiding intimacy and sex, and I have been refused several times. When we first fell in love, I could feel his normal male arousal, but now it is getting less and less, but I found that he sometimes watches porn alone. The experts: this situation I should do? Personal advice: there are many reasons for sexual dysfunction, there are physiological reasons, psychological reasons, can also be the impact of disease, and even also by economic conditions and living environment and other factors. The letter from Ms. He, it seems that her husband’s erectile function is basically normal, it may be the impact of chronic prostatitis and other diseases, but also can not exclude the impact of psychological factors, but fortunately this situation does not occur for a long time, Ms. He resolutely jump out of the confines of feudal thinking, will be difficult to talk about the “privacy” of others, boldly to the regular institutions This is a very good way to get the most out of your life. The first thing you need to do is to take a look at the situation and accept that sexual activity is a natural process, and that perfect sex requires the mind and the body to be in harmony. Therefore, the sexual activity is not only in the success of each penis erection and vaginal penetration, but should focus on the inner feelings of both husband and wife, the overall coordination and harmony of the process of sexual activity; however, but the physical state, work pressure, emotional fluctuations, environmental factors, etc., may be in some specific time and some special place, affecting the quality of sexual life. So the sexual activity between the couple is not always perfect and impeccable, and not every time the sex can make the couple enjoy the orgasm. In the process of sex, the psychological factor is very important, only the couple relaxed and natural wholeheartedly into, can fully enjoy the sexual happiness. In clinical practice, we see too many men who are worried about the size of their reproductive organs, the length of their erections, their male physical characteristics and their ability to make their female partner accept and satisfy them, making it impossible for them to enjoy the pleasure of sex, and on the contrary, too much worry sometimes even leads to impotence and premature ejaculation, making sexual intercourse impossible. Ms. He’s husband, why would he avoid conjugal intimacy and sex, or even refuse his wife’s unsolicited requests for sex? It is likely to be related to his failed sexual experience in his conjugal life. In the mindset of many men, sexual function is an important expression of self-strength and self-esteem. Ms. He’s husband may have had several failed sexual encounters due to the effects of chronic prostatitis and heavier work pressure. If Ms. He’s husband does not have enough self-confidence, the failed sexual experience brings him a huge psychological impact, causing depression, guilt and low self-esteem in Ms. He’s husband, and under the influence of constant psycho-social tensions (including medical origin), a vicious circle is formed, which intensifies the degree of sexual dysfunction and forms what is medico-psychologically The vicious circle is exacerbated by the influence of constant psycho-social tensions (including medical sources), which leads to the degree of sexual dysfunction and the formation of the so-called pathological role behavior reinforcement and role fear in medical psychology. Ms. He’s husband was caught in the role fear, so he was reluctant to admit the fact that he has normal sexual ability, but exaggerated the negative impact of temporary sexual function problems, resulting in worry, fear, fear and other negative emotional reactions, loss of confidence in his own sexual ability, fear of sex, and therefore avoid sexual activities. For the treatment of this situation, the main thing is to break the vicious circle, to help the man out of the role of the shadow, looking back to the lost sexual happiness. For this situation, the wife should be such as what measures to take: 1, first of all, seek the help of professionals in formal institutions: many men are embarrassed to go to the hospital, as a wife should remind and urge her husband to go to the formal medical institutions for medical treatment, and as far as possible accompanied to go to the doctor. 2, to help husbands build self-confidence: for modern society in a strong work and mental pressure of the husband, the spouse should be more support and encourage the husband, even if sex fails, do not blame each other, but should give more relief, downplaying the feelings and memories of failure. 3, the couple communicate more communication: usually more communication, pay attention to the emotional and physical state of both sides, pay attention to the quality of sex, sex in the best condition of both sides. 4, the use of sexual life skills: through the study of sexual health skills, change the daily sex pattern in the usual sexual activities to create a sense of surprise and novelty. 5, the creation of the sex environment: create a warm and romantic sex environment, the two sides more reminiscent of the good times on the honeymoon; double holiday or vacation can go on vacation, enjoy the complete world of two people. I believe that Ms. He’s husband in the sexual activities of these small problems, as long as Ms. He came up with female tenderness and enough patience, trying to help her husband out of the role of fear of the shadow, will be able to break through the sexual failure of the “cocoon” and re-transformed into the sexual happiness of the “butterfly The “butterfly”.