In my outpatient work in men’s medicine, I often hear patients describe or ask questions about masturbation. Many of those who ask often show negative emotions of concern or even fear about this habit of theirs. Also, in class, I notice that the students I teach want to discuss this issue with me in class or after class. Is masturbation actually harmful to the human body? Why do you have all the symptoms after masturbation? How do we properly deal with our own masturbation habits, those of our children, and those of our spouses? It seems that many people don’t know the answers to these questions. This makes me feel the need to write a manuscript about masturbation so that more people can understand the phenomenon.
I. Masturbation a normal human behavior
Many people have accepted this view, but there are still some patients who do not see it in this way. It is not unfounded to say that masturbation is a normal human behavior. There have long been surveys that show that almost all men are maintaining the habit of masturbation or have a history of masturbation. Thus, you can see that masturbation is almost as common as eating and drinking water. You should not wonder why your friend has never mentioned his experience to you. Simply because it is private. After all, there are very few people who will voluntarily share their sexual experiences with others.
From a physiological point of view, when a male reaches puberty, the testicles begin to produce large amounts of testosterone, which generates sexual desire. At the same time, the accessory sex glands continue to secrete, most notably the prostate and seminal glands. The most important component of semen is from this source. “When desire and bodily fluids gather to a certain level, seminal emission will naturally occur. When a young male learns that he can masturbate to relieve his desires while awake and get intense pleasure at the same time, he begins to enjoy this activity. Such an activity is moderately cathartic and contributes to psychological peace. At the same time, masturbation allows him to learn about his sensual zone, gain sexual experience and improve the quality of his sexual behavior. On the other hand, this activity is also in line with the general natural law of “water does not rot, the household hub is not moth-eaten”, which helps the body metabolism.
If you’re looking for a way to get the most out of your life, you’ll be able to get the most out of your life. Is masturbation really harmful? To explain this one, we first need to understand a little psychological and socio-cultural knowledge.
Second, why does masturbation produce symptoms – frustration
We often set goals in life, and when these goals are achieved, we get the euphoria of success. This is a great experience, such as getting to the top of a mountain, passing an exam, etc. But if the goals set are often not achieved. But when goals are set that are often not achieved, a frustrating sense of defeat ensues. The frustration that comes from just the occasional failure is often not that strong. But the frustration that comes from repeatedly trying to reach the same goal is a different matter. The old saying “one drum, and then fail, three and exhausted” is the truth.
The first thing you need to know is the reason for the discomfort of masturbation.
”The actual fact is that you can find a lot of people who are not able to get a good deal on a lot of things. I believe there is no disagreement on this point. Masturbation can satisfy and solve this need to some extent. If you think that masturbation is a bad habit and you try to stop masturbating, the unsatisfiable sexual desire will be a problem. In fact it is very difficult to succeed, and then the person who quits masturbation is caught in this loop: “Quit masturbation → temporary success or not success → masturbation again → frustration → quit masturbation again ……”. This vicious circle will lead to serious problems. Such a vicious circle will bring about serious negative emotions.
Why Masturbation Produces Symptoms – Feelings of Guilt
Frustration is one important reason why masturbation produces negative emotions, but another important reason also deserves our attention. Due to social and cultural factors, the Chinese people are usually very secretive about sex. The ancients also had beautiful poems like “The fair lady, the gentleman is good at martyrdom”. But after the Song and Yuan dynasties, we became more and more conservative. This is more or less related to the ideology of “keeping heavenly reason and extinguishing human desire” proposed by the science. As a result, some people wrongly believe that sex is dirty and shameful. This idea, which has been passed down to us and rules our lives, will continue to influence our lives for a long time to come.
Many people think this way about masturbation. In fact, “masturbation” and its other name, “masturbation”, both contain derogatory meanings. In Chinese, “淫” means “indulgence”, “excess” and “improper”. The word “masturbation” has the meaning of “disrespect”, which are both derogatory words. This is the most direct manifestation of traditional cultural thought about masturbation. Therefore, some scholars believe that the more scientific term should be masturbation. This misconception about masturbation often causes some men to fall into a deep sense of remorse after masturbation, resulting in a more serious sense of guilt.
In addition, a very small number of patients still believe that “one drop of sperm ten drops of blood”, “masturbation is harmful to health and can lead to sexual dysfunction”, or that “excessive masturbation can lead to kidney essence loss and kidney qi deficiency. “The first thing you need to do is to get rid of it. This is a deep fear. In fact, these views are not based on theory. There is no connection between sperm and blood, and proper masturbation is unlikely to cause erectile dysfunction. It is important to remind people that the traditional medical term “kidney deficiency” and the modern medical term “kidney failure” are two codes. Although the same with a “kidney” word is, but the original meaning is very far away.
People have seven emotions and six desires, and only humans can experience a rich emotional response from the relationship between the sexes. As the saying goes, “Water can carry a boat, but it can also overturn it”. Good emotions are good for health, while negative emotions are bad for health. Because of the negative emotions caused by the wrong perception of masturbation, patients will feel incompetent because they have no control over their bodies and thoughts; they will feel like they will always face failure and be a failure. Loss, confusion, pessimism, uncertainty and other negative emotions will attack us at this time, resulting in a variety of symptoms.
Four, how to treat their masturbation
The most difficult and unavoidable question to answer about masturbation is often the question of “degree”. What is moderate masturbation? How much frequency is moderate? No one can give an exact number for this question. The differences in sexual activity are sometimes unimaginable. The frequency is something that only you can grasp. The frequency of masturbation is usually judged on the basis of whether or not it interferes with school, work, or life. If you don’t feel any discomfort, please enjoy the sexual pleasure!
Five, how to deal with children, spouse masturbation
I have had parents discuss this with me. What should I do if I find my child masturbating? Do I need to stop him? Should I encourage him or her? Or should I just pretend that I didn’t find out?
Sex is a personal matter. Even your child has his or her own privacy. As a parent, you should respect your child’s privacy. There is no need to be nervous and upset when we know that our child has such habits. Remember, the only time you can help is when your child is troubled by it. And if he does not ask for help, you should make your help more discreet. Remember that protecting a person’s privacy is the best way to respect him.
Some married men also have the habit of masturbating while the couple is living together within the marriage. When his spouse finds him doing so, he is often confused and puzzled. Does he not love me anymore? Is there something wrong between us? Such thoughts follow. The truth is that this doesn’t mean anything, men are just naturally different from women. The occasional masturbation is a way for men to spice up their married life. It can also serve as a counterbalance in a relationship where one partner is more sexually active than the other, and therefore will make him feel confident and feel more fulfilled in life. Of course, if he takes this as a major way of sexual activity, then you should communicate properly.
Six, masturbation should pay attention to some of the issues
The actual fact that masturbation is normal and beneficial does not mean that we should be reckless? It is not!
First of all, in masturbation we should pay attention to protect the reproductive organs, not to hurt it. Some people use so-called devices during masturbation, such as “plastic rope”, “drink bottles”, “iron rings”, or even “steel needles The actual “steel needles” and so on. This can damage the genitals. This is never to be done.
There are some young men who are worried about masturbation hurting their bodies, so they stop masturbating when they want to ejaculate. This will not only make the sexual desire is not satisfied, increase sexual pressure or lead to frequent masturbation. The actual fact is that you can find a lot of people who are not able to get a good deal on a lot of things. It is easy to form a chronic prostatitis worry. The actual fact is that you can find a number of other masturbation habits that should be avoided. In addition, there are some young men who even press the head of the penis or urethra during orgasm to hinder the ejection of semen in order to achieve the purpose of “not ejaculating semen and not hurting the kidneys (body)”. At this point semen is forced to discharge into the bladder or stay in the back of the urethra. This can lead to retrograde ejaculation and the loss or disappearance of orgasmic pleasure, which is clinically troublesome to deal with.
In general, we should reach a consensus on masturbation as follows.
1, masturbation is a normal and beneficial activity.
2, as long as it is treated correctly, and does not lead to disease and discomfort.
3, treat others masturbation, should show respect and understanding.
4, for female masturbation, should also take the same attitude.