What is the best way to raise a child from six to twelve years old? There are many ways to do this, and there are many different ways to do it. I agree with Dr. Tedd Tripp that the focus at this stage is on developing good character. Character is innate; character is developed. Character refers to nature, such as: active, quiet; extroverted, introverted; bold, timid; acute, chronic, and so on. Character, however, can be cultivated, e.g., honesty, humility, diligence, responsibility, temperance, consideration, kindness, loyalty, thrift, etc. The child’s plasticity is high, if there are wrong ideas, attitudes and behaviors, parents should be patient to explain, teach, and help him to correct. There is a child who is disciplined in class, turns in his homework on time, and his teachers love him. However, he is so proud that he looks down on other students and cannot tolerate, let alone forgive, the slightest offense. This is a problem of character. He cannot sympathize with others and has no love. Parents have the responsibility to teach him and help him to change. Please note that I am not saying that the parents are commanding him to change, but “helping” him to change, which is very different. Commands apply to children under the age of six. As the child grows older, the parents must begin to understand his thinking and patiently teach him to understand. In particular, I want to remind parents not to let television and websites take the place of character building for your children. In a survey conducted by the Kaiser Family Foundation, it was found that children over the age of eight are spending an average of seven and a half hours a day on different media. Excessive TV or Internet viewing can have a significant negative impact on children. If they do not sleep or eat, they will be malnourished; if they do not exercise, they will be overweight; if they do not do their homework, they will naturally regress in their homework and their reading ability will be lowered. And because often online, disconnected from reality, into the virtual world, do not know how to deal with life and emotions, it is easy to suffer from mood disorders, may get depressed. Therefore, parents, please control the time they spend on the Internet and watching TV before they grow up. Don’t put computers and TVs in their rooms, lest they can’t control themselves and fall into traps. Attitude towards God Do your children fear God? Do they follow the teachings of the Bible? “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; and the knowledge of the Most Holy One is wisdom.” (Proverbs 9:10) Wise parents not only fear God themselves, but also lead their children to know and fear God. Nowadays, many schools do not teach children to know God, and teach them that there are no absolute standards in the world. My friend’s eight-year-old son came home and said to his dad, “The teacher said everyone is good, so we can’t say others are bad.” At first glance this sounds reasonable and inclusive; but upon closer reflection, one realizes that this statement confuses the truth and obliterates the objective standard of right and wrong. If everyone is good, then everyone can do whatever they want without being criticized. This kind of education makes children unable to distinguish between right and wrong, between good and bad people. Sociologist Christian Smith and his colleagues interviewed 230 young people a few years ago and asked them about the relationship between morality and their lives. The result of the interviews was that many young people did not take morality into account when doing things, and that most of them relied on their feelings: “I’ll do what I feel good about.” They do not understand that “feeling good” is not necessarily right. Doing what feels good can easily lead to conflicts with others. There must be objective principles for dealing with people, and the objective standards must be set by God. “The Scriptures are inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, prepared for every good work.” (2Timothy 3:16-17) A child fears God and can distinguish between good and evil, so that parents do not have to worry about him making mistakes or being deceived by bad people. How does the child get along with others? Does he have a good personality? Is he nosy? Does he like to be a leader? Or does he prefer to be a follower? A person’s weaknesses are often his strengths. For example, a nosy person may have administrative skills; a commanding person may have leadership skills; a timid person may not be a leader, but may be more thoughtful and not act impulsively. Therefore, parents need to help their children develop their strengths and remind them to avoid turning their strengths into weaknesses. If children learn to get along with others during this transitional stage, they will have better interpersonal relationships when they grow up. Attitude Toward Self How does the child see himself or herself? Are they proud and confident? Is he or she proud, confident, or overly self-absorbed? Does he or she know his or her strengths and weaknesses? Is he careful or careless? Paul said, “For I say to each one of you by the grace given to me, Do not look at yourself more than you ought to look at yourself, but according to the measure of the faith God has given to each one, according to the middle ground.” (Romans 12:3) God gives people different gifts, and there is no need to compare them with others, but only to make good use of one’s own strengths, and to serve God and people faithfully. The teaching of parents should be: Do your own part and that’s enough, don’t compare yourself with others; otherwise you will either be proud or inferior if you focus on the right and the wrong. God does not ask us to compare our talents with others, but only to be faithful and do our best. Teach your children to apply this same guideline and not to put unnecessary pressure on them. Attitude toward Parents Do children like to be close to their parents, or do they avoid them? This is a communication problem. Children between the ages of six and twelve are beginning to think and ask why. Parents need to give them a safe environment to ask questions and express their inner thoughts. They need to know why they are upset and why they are unhappy so that they can understand and help them. Communication is a two-way street and takes time. So, if parents just want a quick fix and don’t want to take the time to understand the motives behind their words and actions, their children will begin to resent and be defiant. This will not only commit the same offense, but more seriously, alienate them from their parents. “A man’s heart hides counsel like deep water, but a wise man draws it out.” (Proverbs 20:5) A 12-year-old girl came home sulking, saying she didn’t like her school and wanted to change it. Her parents sat down and talked with her and realized that she was a leader and often told her classmates to do what she wanted, and when they didn’t listen, she became angry and had fewer and fewer friends until she felt so isolated that she said she wanted to change schools. Understanding the situation, her parents helped her to change her domineering behavior. I hope that parents will be wise and prayerful in understanding their children so that they can be induced to change their deviant mindsets and build good character. Finally, I would like to mention some children with ADHD symptoms. They are extremely active, have short attention spans, and are not easily disciplined. Some professionals advocate the use of medication to control them; however, most medications have side effects and should be used sparingly as a last resort. I have not counseled such children. But I have read a book, there is a mother, her five-year-old daughter suffers from this disease, she does not want her daughter to rely on drugs for life, so they pay attention to their daughter’s behavior, to understand her thoughts and ideas, to provide some insights to other parents with the same disease for reference, I translated it, I hope to help some parents: 1, at home, there should be clear and absolute rules, must act according to the rules; otherwise, these children will think that the rules are canceled, you can do whatever you want. Otherwise, these children will think that the rules have been canceled and they can do as they please. 2, out of the clear boundaries should also be set, these children have a very weak sense of time and space, no concept of time, but also can not distinguish between themselves and others, it is difficult to adapt to the change of time and space. So parents need to help them to understand and adapt, lest they offend others without realizing it. 3. We have to keep explaining social rules to them because they do not know how to learn from observing others, nor do they know how to learn by example. So parents need to teach them again and again how to get along with others in different situations. 4. Teach them in a small, quiet room so that they are not distracted, looking around and not listening to you. 5. Remind them often of the rules you have laid down and of what you require of them; for they lack attention and cannot easily absorb what you say. You must not tire of repeating the teaching and reminding. Although the above five points are for teaching children with ADHD, in fact, they can also be applied to teaching children in general.