Family Sexual Focusing Therapy is a behavior-based therapy that is conducted in the patient’s home. This therapy is a method of treating mental sexual dysfunction that combines psychological and sexual behavior by focusing the senses on pleasure appreciation during the sexual act under the guidance of a physician, thus eliminating anxiety and worry and making the natural sexual state appear. The therapy is simple and easy to use, but skilled techniques are needed to deal with the actual problems of sex encountered by some couples in sex therapy. Sexual concentration therapy is a technique for the treatment of sexual dysfunction, which is not only adapted to the treatment of impotence, premature ejaculation and non-ejaculation in men, but also to the treatment of sexual indifference, difficulty in sexual intercourse, vaginal cramps and lack of orgasm in women.
The basic principles of erotic focus training Masters and Jodson believe that most people with sexual dysfunction are caused by anxiety, especially operational anxiety during the occurrence of sexual intercourse. Because of the fear of failure of sexual intercourse, mental tension during coitus, this anxiety and fear of tension disrupts the sexual behavior as a natural instinct, and over time, the wrong behavior pattern of sexual dysfunction is formed. Sexual concentration training therapy is a re-education process that eliminates anxiety in the short term and results in the re-emergence of normal sexual behavior as a natural instinct. The patient couple should re-learn the correct sexual behavior pattern from the beginning, starting from mutual contact, touching, hugging, step by step, according to the prescribed time work, after each step feel concentrated to experience the pleasure given by both sides to each other, so that confidence and pleasure increase together, so that anxiety eliminated. In the process of learning the correct sexual behavior pattern, the original sexual dysfunction is naturally overcome.
The basic program of erotic focus training is non-genital erotic focus training; genital erotic focus training; vaginal accommodation; vaginal accommodation and activity.
The purpose of Sexual Focusing Training is to provide a way for couples to gradually rebuild their sexual relationship, which consists of a series of small steps that couples can use to solve the problem in stages. The physician helps the couple identify the specific factors that maintain sexual dysfunction and plans to help the couple resolve the dysfunction. Special techniques are provided for couples to deal with specific problems.
Principles and instructions for sexual focus training
1. The physician should ensure that the instructions are clear. This includes the couple’s understanding of the methods used and sometimes the need to repeat the instruction and, if necessary, for the patient to reach a level of repeated understanding.
2. Obtain a detailed treatment response. At each stage of treatment, the couple’s response to the treatment should be obtained, asking them how it went, how they felt and what problems they had. Without knowing this, it is difficult for the doctor to be able to continue treatment with the patient couple.
3. Check the reasons for failure. If you can identify the cause of failure, it is often the key to achieving success in treatment. At the same time for the couple, it can also serve to enhance the interest and understanding of the treatment plan.
4. Continuously revise the treatment plan. It is an important principle to continuously revise the treatment plan in response to the treatment situation. This is because in behavioral therapy, if one phase of treatment is not successful, it is not possible to move on to the next phase of treatment, but rather to extend or revise the previous phase of treatment.
5. Establish a “retrospective phase” of treatment. From the beginning of treatment, a certain time should be designated as a “retrospective phase”. For example, tell the couple that they should review their progress and problems after three sessions. This can help the couple feel emotional and confident about their treatment. The doctor can also use this time to pause and analyze and modify the treatment plan.
6. Follow medical ethics and maintain patient confidentiality. Most of the issues discussed during the treatment period are related to the patient’s private life, so the doctor should follow medical ethics and keep the confidentiality of the patient.
7. Treatment arrangements should be made in consultation with the couple. For example, how long and how many times the treatment will be carried out, when to schedule a follow-up appointment, etc.
8. The patient’s spouse should be involved in the discussion of the treatment plan. The patient’s spouse must be involved in the discussion of the development of a new treatment plan is the key to success, should put the previous failure behind them, and can treat the treatment of sexual dysfunction as a major life event, to ensure that both spouses have plenty of time.
9. face up to the difficulties in treatment. Couples should anticipate the difficulties encountered in the treatment process and not see the failures and difficulties as serious relapses, but as a good opportunity for the treating doctor to help and understand their difficulties.
Problems related to pre-treatment disharmony and resentment between spouses may often prevent the pleasant sensations brought about by the couple’s physical contact with each other. In such cases, what couples need is general marital therapy rather than sexual therapy. However, some couples with minor relationship problems can simply be resolved before a sex therapy program begins.
One spouse is sexually frigid and has a severe fear of physical contact, which is one reason why non-genital sexual concentration training cannot be performed. Couples with this fear can be instructed to perform relaxation training to relieve fear on a regular basis once or twice a week. Spousal contact can begin with hand-holding and a clear prohibition of any more intimate or extensive physical contact. When both partners are finally able to perform sexual concentration training, they should still wear a small amount of underwear.
Sometimes couples have seemingly limited sexual problems, their sexual relationship is otherwise satisfactory, and if occasional premature ejaculation occurs, then a complete sexual treatment plan is not necessary, and a simple discussion can be taken to resolve the problem. Clinical experience has shown that most couples should be counseled to spend at least 1 to 2 weeks in the early stages of a sexual treatment program on non-genital and genital sex-focused training before special techniques are required to address their particular problem. The method of sexual concentration training focuses on making the spouses express love for each other rather than sexual intercourse through several parties such as sight, touch, smell, and meditation. They provide and accept each other’s physical pleasure. It should be clear that the purpose of sensual focus training is to provide and receive pleasurable feelings from each other in caresses. Sexual arousal caused by sexual concentration training can be eliminated by relaxation and rest.
Stages of treatment
Phase I: Non-genital eroticism training
Specific methods and instructions
1. First of all, with the consent of both partners, during the implementation of this treatment plan, no sexual intercourse, nor mutual fondling of the genitals and the woman’s breasts, until the completion of several stages of sensual interaction.
2. The caressing phase of the treatment should be carried out at the place and time desired by both spouses, with no interference from other parties, and without talking about anything unrelated to the treatment, in order to concentrate on the caressing and experience.
3. The position during caressing can be more flexible, basically requiring both parties to be able to look at each other’s whole body.
4. When the non-genital sensual concentration training starts, one spouse should touch the whole body of the other spouse tentatively, but not the genitals and female breasts of both spouses.
5. The main purpose of touch therapy is to make both spouses begin to build confidence and intimacy, but not beyond the scope of behavior allowed by the caressing stage.
6. The husband agrees to decide how many strokes to perform, and the progress of the treatment is largely based on the number of strokes that have been performed; three treatments per week is reasonable.
7. A small amount of lubricant can be used on the skin during stroking, such as baby lubricant, talcum powder and other topical aids that make stroking comfortable.
8. The stages of family therapy are artificially divided and arranged, so the length of treatment can vary according to the progress, generally the total time of the first treatment is about 1 week.
9. Both spouses should try to use the personal pronoun “I” in sexy concentration training and daily life, such as “I want to know how you feel when I do this”, instead of saying “you don’t seem to like this “, to avoid vague communication.
After a few sessions, when one spouse feels and enjoys the sexual focus training, ask the other spouse for explicit input, such as “I like to experiment with these caressing exercises, do you need them?” rather than giving vague, ambiguous advice. If one spouse’s attitude toward petting is positive or general, the other spouse should accept the invitation. If one partner is negative about fondling, the other should encourage the other to try to explain the reasons.
After the first session of non-genital eroticism training has been given and the spouse’s completion of the training is known, the treating physician can prepare the couple for the next phase of treatment. Point out that the couple needs to review in detail what progress they made in the first session. This makes it easier for the treating physician to ask questions in the next session that would otherwise be difficult to ask for fear of causing embarrassment to the patient. As mentioned earlier, the treating physician can make personal predictions about what will happen in the future based on the information obtained during the initial evaluative counseling and the couple’s response to the initial instruction.
After 3 to 4 sessions of non-genital erotic focus training, the couple should communicate their feelings to each other in a straightforward manner, and the doctor should begin counseling at this time. It is best to begin the consultation by asking each partner what progress has been made since the previous session. The treating physician should then ask each partner for details about what happened and how they reacted to the treatment, including both positive and negative experiences. Care should also be taken to avoid blunt statements such as “that’s good” or “that’s not good”. It is important for the treating physician to know what is going on at the time of treatment, not only to obtain a wealth of information, but also to encourage communication about the sexual relationship between the spouses by discussing family therapy in detail.
Reactions to therapy Couples’ reactions to non-genital sexual focus training may be positive or negative, or more often a combination of both. For some couples, the training provides an impressive and positive experience, which may lead to a change in the behavior of both spouses. In therapy, such changes are common and obvious, such as couples appearing closer and more affectionate. However, the initial response may also be negative, or the couple’s behavior may not remain within the permissible range. At this point, the couple should be asked about the following.
1. does the touch therapy lack spontaneous movements, i.e., does it seem artificial and unnatural?
2. Is there sufficient time to perform the treatment into more than one session?
3. Is there a violation of the rules for sexual intercourse?
4. Does the touch therapy cause negative feelings? If one or both spouses are nervous, easily frightened, bored (in a trance) or find their spouse stupid, etc.
Can one spouse allow the other spouse to make his or her own demands?
It is important that the treating physician help the couple recognize their reactions and relate their sexual difficulties to the causative factors that can be identified in the evaluation of sexual counseling, and if recommendations for further treatment can be made, the couple can turn to these recommendations for complete treatment. If the couple does not have a good experience and results from the non-genital sexual focus training, it will make subsequent treatment more difficult. In this case, the treating physician should advise the couple not to proceed to the next phase of the treatment plan, but to continue repeating the above treatment until there is a good response, after the physician’s explanation and guidance.
Phase 2: Genital Sexual Focus Training
Specific treatment methods and instructions
During this phase of the treatment plan, both spouses should continue to exchange ideas and requests with each other. Initially, the spouse should also continue to take an active and passive stroking role with the other spouse at each session, and rotate this role. Sexual intercourse should not occur during this phase.
During stroking, the man’s attention should shift from one part of the woman’s body to the other: the woman should also let her spouse know how she feels. The couple should adopt the position they want to be in, and the “non-demanding position”, where the woman sits in the man’s arms, is recommended. Patients with impotence can often begin to feel an erection in this position.
It is also necessary for patients with premature ejaculation to learn this training method before using the motion-stop technique or the squeeze technique. Couples who have already used lubricants during non-genital sensual focus training can continue to use them during touching.
When Genital Sexual Focusing Training is successfully performed in family therapy, the active and passive roles of the couple should be maintained in a rotating manner.
Response to therapy Some couples can immediately appreciate the experience of genital erotic focus and quickly become sexually aroused when their doubts are dispelled. In some patients sexual intercourse may occur, which is not true.
Negativity is also common, and even though couples may have had several successful non-genital erotic focused feelings, sexual anxiety may be especially aroused at this stage, which is usually caused by sexual arousal without intercourse. Mild anxiety may disappear after a few strokes, and in severe cases may lead to avoidance or even discontinuation of family therapy, or cause one or both partners to become increasingly bored in therapy. Negative reactions are manifested in two main ways.
1. sexual intercourse opening, which may be a healthy response to sexual desire, but this may also be a negative response to stop genital touching and direct sexual intercourse due to the inability to control sexual arousal and sexual behavior anxiety and boredom.
2. negative experiences, such as anxiety, irritability, lack of concentration or even pain during touching, which will can lead to avoidance of this phase of treatment.
Treatment of negative reactions
1. It is recommended that couples repeat family therapy. This recommendation is advisable when the negative reactions are mild.
If these reactions do not manifest immediately, avoidance may be used in order to reduce negative attitudes and concerns. Some factors may cause negative reactions, including general inhibition, guilt, anxiety about genital appearance or the smell and secretions of the sexual act, and fear that one spouse is not in control.
3. To prevent distraction and improve sexual arousal, sexual fantasy may be recommended.
4. If sexual anxiety is caused by a part of the treatment program that does not seem to play a major role in resolving the couple’s sexual dysfunction, this part of the treatment can be abandoned.
Stage 3: Vaginal Accommodation
Once the genital sensual focus experience is established, the next step in the treatment plan is to gradually engage in sexual intercourse through the intermediate phase of vaginal accommodation. One of the goals of this phase of treatment is how to reduce some of the anxiety that couples experience as a result of sexual intercourse.
Specific treatment methods and instructions for vaginal accommodation can begin once the couple has had experience with genital erotic focus training. The position during vaginal accommodation should be chosen experimentally. A female supine position, or a lateral position with the female partner guiding the activity, is generally recommended. In conclusion, whatever position is chosen, the treating physician should describe it in detail. Vaginal accommodation can be performed for 4 to 7 days, focusing on experiencing sexual pleasure and improving the ability to control orgasm.
Response to vaginal accommodation It is not uncommon for impotent patients to relapse during this phase, because once the penis is inserted into the vagina, the patient feels the need to maintain an erection and cause anxiety. These problems are usually temporary if the male partner is able to maintain a satisfactory erection during genital sex-focused training and is also able to train the penis to swell and subside. Patients with premature ejaculation often experience anxiety and difficulty with penile insertion into the vagina because the penis is
The ejaculation is often uncontrollable, resulting in premature termination of sexual activity. Premature ejaculation is a problem that most men experience and should be trained repeatedly until they are able to control themselves. Penile insertion into the vagina is of course an important stage in the treatment of women with vaginal spasms.
Stage 4: Vaginal accommodation and movement
This is the final stage of the external behavioral treatment program in which the couple can perform penile activities while the vagina is being held.