After mastectomy, breast cancer patients often have concerns and worries about their physical beauty, and even think that they are no longer “complete” women, and worry whether their husbands still love them. In addition, in order to reduce the chance of recurrence, many tumor patients usually have a large surgical excision, which may cause changes in shape, mutilation of limbs, scarring of skin, and even disfigurement of face, and chemotherapy may also cause side effects such as hair loss, pigmentation, and weight loss.
Patients often have a sense of loss and inferiority, full of contradictions and sadness, lose confidence in sexual expression, passive performance in sexual life, and over time may even develop into sexual apathy, affecting the harmony of sexual life. And the spouse is worried that sex will affect each other’s, and even worried that it may cause the deterioration of the disease. This is the most important thing is that the patient should overcome the inferiority complex, to think of yourself not only because of appearance, but more importantly, because of the inner character and other valuable and respected by the lover and adored.
If the couple respects and loves each other before the disease, the sex life is pleasant and satisfactory, and will recover after the disease as before. The spouse should take the initiative to care and sympathize with the patient, help him/her overcome the feeling of inferiority, and both parties should be frank about their sexual requirements and feelings. When resuming sex life after surgery, if the surgical incision or wound is still delicate, the squeezing of the chest should be minimized to avoid distraction due to pain and discomfort.
As tumor is a special disease, it often threatens the life of patients, which can make patients stay in tension and fear for a long time, and their emotions are low, plus this kind of consuming disease can make patients’ physical ability decrease in a short period of time, which temporarily reduces patients’ interest and demand for sex, and the surgery, radiotherapy and chemotherapy in treatment can lead to patients’ physical quality decrease and lack of energy.
As we all know, the desire for sex and abundant physical strength are the prerequisites for sex life, so patients in a weakened state during treatment should not have sex. When the tumor treatment is over and the condition is stable, with the gradual recovery of physical strength and adaptation to the changes brought about by the disease and treatment, it is normal for patients to propose the idea of resuming sexual life.
However, due to the long-term consumption of disease and the influence of treatment, patients will feel overwhelmed when they start to resume sexual life, and both husband and wife will have a series of doubts and anxieties, such as “whether sexual life is harmful to the patient’s body”, “whether tumor will be transmitted through sexual life”, etc. “In fact, these concerns are unnecessary. In fact, these worries are unnecessary. Moderate, harmonious and regular sex life is not only harmless to the body, but also can enhance patients’ self-confidence and adjust their endocrine system, which is beneficial to their recovery.
Because tumor disease is not an infectious disease, it will not be transmitted to each other through sexual life. The recovery of sexual ability, on the other hand, also reflects the recovery of the whole organism.
When is the most appropriate time to resume sexual life? How to grasp the right amount of sexual life? This is difficult to have a unified fixed answer, depending on the degree of recovery of the patient’s condition, depending on the person. Generally speaking, it is appropriate to have sex without feeling reluctant, and not feel tired the next day. As for the frequency of sexual life, sometimes it is related to the frequency of sexual life before the disease and the patient’s physical condition, age, type of disease and the degree of recovery.
Even if the recovery is better, should also be appropriately lower than the frequency of sex before the disease, so as to avoid excessive physical exertion, affecting physical recovery. We should advocate the way of health, in the treatment phase need to abstain, in the recovery phase should try to clear the mind and restrain the desire, replenish the kidney and fix the essence. Premature resumption of sexual life or uncontrolled indulgence will cause the loss of kidney essence, which is not conducive to the recovery of the disease and will lead to the intensification of the weakness of the organism.
Therefore, breast cancer patients are perfectly capable of having the same sexual life as normal people. It is the right attitude not to overindulge and not to forcefully restrain, but to let nature take its course. A moderate sexual life can prevent the recurrence of breast cancer after surgery.
A few suggestions and methods for patients and husbands.
1. Improve the communication with your partner about sex life;
2. Try sensual massage;
Read a good book about sex to increase knowledge and skills about sex;
4.Increase sexual fantasy;
5, share their sexual fantasies with their partners;
6, encourage your partner to be more active in sexual activities;
7.Tell your partner to do it in the way you like.
Finally, we need to clarify two related misconceptions. The first is the belief that “only young and healthy people have the need for sex”. In fact, people can have sex at any stage of their lives, even if they are older or physically ill, and tumor patients are no exception. The second is that “sexual life is sexual intercourse”.
This view is at least not comprehensive, because besides sexual intercourse, sexual life can be expressed in many other ways, such as deliberate behavior, dressing, language and kissing, touching and masturbation. When tumor patients do not want to have intercourse or have difficulty in having intercourse for various reasons, they can get pleasure through other ways of sexual expression. Even if the physical strength is very insufficient and the body is very weak, these methods can be used to express the couple’s feelings.