People with diabetes do not have to feel redundant or unwanted when having sex, and should view obstacles such as low blood sugar, vaginal dryness, or erectile problems as surmountable obstacles, rather than as roadblocks to sexual activity.
Pre-planning can make dealing with challenges easier. More house-decorating-related preparation, in addition to sex-related preparation, can make sex easier, and remember that controlling diabetes is the first step in preventing or managing diabetes-related problems.
The following tips and hints can make sex easier and more fun.
Top 11 strategies to improve your sex life
Start your sex life as you would exercise. This helps prevent dangerous hypoglycemia. “Having low blood sugar during sex can be a bummer,” says Kerri Morrone Sparling, author of Balancing Diabetes: In Search of Happiness. She also blogs about her life with type 1 diabetes. “The body loses function when hypoglycemia occurs, so hypoglycemia can ruin the joy of sex.”
1. Add snacks to foreplay
For people with diabetes who are on insulin, check your blood sugar before sex. If your blood sugar is low, have a snack. For more fun, add a snack to foreplay; try strawberries, a little ice cream, or chocolate.
2. Let it go
It may help to have a good plan, but don’t worry if unplanned sex happens. “Let it go, don’t control your sex drive, don’t mind that you’re not following your diabetes exercise routine,” and just check your blood sugar levels after sex, says Scott K. Johnson, a diabetes advocate. He blogged about his life after developing type 1 diabetes.
3. Use lubricant
For women with vaginal dryness, vaginal lubricants can improve the sensation of sex; ask your doctor how to use them regularly, not just during sex. “Think of lubricant as hand cream,” says Janis Roszler, Miami’s diabetes education specialist and author of “Sex and Diabetes: Made for Him/Her.”
4. Have a sex kit
Keep all the gear you need to improve sexual sensation by your bedside, including a box of juice or glucose tablets and examination equipment. “These are the things patients should have with them,” Johnson says, “and I would feel disappointed if I had to stop having sex because I didn’t have items to raise my blood sugar.” For female patients, lubricant may need to be added to the kit. Massage oils or other supplies can be added to enhance mood as preferred. A mini supply kit can be carried with you while you are out and about.
5. Book a room
Let yourself and your partner spend the night at a local hotel, “which can be a huge libido booster,” Janis said. Especially for those with children, it can be difficult to have alone time with a partner. “Planning days in advance and then teasing each other with sexy texts or sex logs is planned sex, but in planning something fun.”
6. Get some practice
For those who use devices like vacuum pumps or constriction bands to help treat erectile dysfunction, take the time to learn how to use them properly. Patients must not want to fumble with how to use it in front of their partner,” Janis said. The more comfortable you are with using the device, the more relaxed you will be when using it.”
7. Consider using a ambulatory glucose monitor (CGM)
Cary and Scott both agree that using this device is good for sex. Scott says, “Wearing a ambulatory glucose monitor allows me to keep an eye on my blood glucose levels and blood glucose trends, which can be very helpful in planning or having spontaneous sex.” But for those who don’t wear a monitor, a blood glucose test doesn’t need to be seen as very important. Scott says, “A quick 30-second blood glucose test can be done in any setting, and that’s very prudent.”
8. Try new methods of intercourse
For those who can’t get an erection, try having sex in a venue outside the bedroom. Partners can read pornographic books or pornography together. Try new positions or sex toys. Explore different ways to have an orgasm. Most women do not only orgasm during intercourse. Some men can have orgasms from prostate stimulation.
9. Limit alcohol intake
Small amounts of alcohol may stimulate sexual desire, but drinking alcohol can also cause a rapid drop in blood sugar levels. For those who drink alcohol, drink some champagne during intimate acts or have a drink with a meal or snack before sex. This will limit the effect of alcohol on blood sugar. For those who cannot sustain an erection, drink less alcohol.
10. Get help for emotional problems
Depression, anxiety, self-deprecation, and other emotional problems can sabotage sex. Sexual problems can affect the relationship between partners. Individual or partner counseling can help explore problems and develop solutions. A doctor can provide treatment options for most sexual problems, including painful sexual behavior and orgasm problems. But before that, emotional or relationship issues may need to be addressed.
11. Learn to relax
Patients’ own perceptions of diabetes may affect the atmosphere during sex with others. Unexpected things can happen when you have diabetes. If problems arise, they can be handled with humor and fun. Partners, especially new partners, can be informed of the fact that they have diabetes. Janis says, “If the person is confident, comfortable and relaxed, that sends the message to the partner that there is no need to worry and it’s okay to relax.”