The most distant distance in the world is when I am right next to you and you are playing with your phone. You should go find her (him) if you want to @ her (him). Today is commonly known as “Black Monday”, I got up early in the morning to rush to work. As usual, I took out my WeChat on the way to work, but the WeChat interface was always in the “connection ……”, which made me feel at a loss and more irritable, and the whole morning’s work was distracted. Work is distracted, always want to pick up the phone again “brush”. On July 22, users in Beijing, Guangdong, Zhejiang and other areas reported that they could not log in to WeChat, and the WeChat public platform was down, with the failure spreading to many places, and many people showed symptoms of anxiety, like the editor. “The time without WeChat is too boring and uninteresting”, “It’s a terrible thing to be so dependent on such an application”, “It’s like I lost something”, “I can’t go on working”. “The concept of “virtual social dependence” is once again being taken seriously. Many people are even panicking about whether they have a mental illness and whether they should go to the hospital for treatment. Don’t get lost in the virtual network The China Internet Network Information Center (CNNIC) released the “Statistical Report on the Development of the Chinese Internet”, showing that in 2012, the size of China’s Internet users reached 564 million, and cell phone users reached 420 million. WeChat, QQ, Renren, Weibo ……, these virtual social platforms have become the most fashionable way to make friends nowadays. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the public. It is in this process that “virtual social dependence” is derived. “From a psychiatric professional point of view, there is no such concept as ‘virtual social dependence’, which is a term given by some lay people for the resulting dependency behavior after the emergence of online social networking.” Kong Qingmei, director of psychiatry at the Sixth Hospital of Peking University, told “Body Geography” that such symptoms can be classified as ‘impulse control disorder,’ which is a psychological disorder in which certain behaviors are carried out with difficulty in self-control, driven by strong desire. It can manifest as both psychological symptoms, such as anxiety, impulsivity, nervousness, and distraction, and can also be accompanied by some physical symptoms, such as hand tremors, panic, and fidgeting. Virtual social dependence is one of the manifestations of impulse control disorder.” The 16-year-old Yang did not study well and dropped out of school at home, because he was still a minor plus an introverted and withdrawn personality, turned into what is commonly known as “home squat”. For a long time, Yang soaked in the Internet all day long, for him, the Internet can let him experience a different life. For example, playing online games, he can play different roles; playing WeChat, microblogging, he can more easily make friends, more easily to attract the attention of others, these in real life can not be achieved in the network can be achieved. Even after his parents strictly lectured him and forced him to turn off the computer, he would secretly use his cell phone to continue his “virtual world”, and his online life greatly satisfied his vision of an ideal life. Kong Qingmei concluded that there are three main reasons for “virtual social dependence”: first, the lure of the network itself, the network has the characteristics of convenience and escape from reality, due to long-term immersion in the virtual network world, patients will develop a strong sense of dependence, and in the end is often “online The second is the environmental factor, the trust between people in society is getting lower and lower, communication is getting less and less, when needing to release the pressure in their hearts, they can only choose the most convenient and safest online world as a channel to vent their emotions; finally is the personality factor, for example, like Xiao Yang withdrawn, autistic, low self-esteem, lack of security, sense of accomplishment, etc., are often the most likely to be the most vulnerable. Finally, personality factors, such as being withdrawn, autistic, low self-esteem, lack of security, sense of accomplishment, etc., like Yang, are often most likely to indulge in the online social environment, where they can get the lack of self-confidence, security, satisfaction and other psychological solace in real life, gradually unable to distinguish between reality and fantasy, which can lead to depression, hallucinations and other mental illnesses in serious cases, and this personality is often closely related to family education, such as excessive parental criticism and blame, excessive control or excessive indulgence, may This kind of character is often closely related to family education, such as excessive parental criticism and blame, excessive control or excessive indulgence, can cause children’s character defects. The American psychologist Shirley Teck, who has long been concerned about the Internet, points out that the addiction to social networking is a major problem. Turk points out that being addicted to social networks or relying on technology products to connect with the outside world can not make people get rid of loneliness, but will make people more lonely. What’s worse is that people who rely on social networks for a long time to connect with the outside world and present themselves in a virtual image not only lose the ability to communicate with other people, but also lose the opportunity to know themselves and reflect on themselves. It can be said that when social dependence becomes a disease, it always destroys the balance of reality to varying degrees and breaks the traditional bonds, bringing discomfort and unhappiness not only to oneself but also to the people around. In fact, in order to determine whether a person is really “dependent” or even “addicted”, apart from the above mentioned psychological and physical symptoms, it is also necessary to classify the severity of the symptoms. If the symptoms have affected the social function of the person, making him/her unable to work normally or feel very painful, and last for more than 3 months, then it can be considered as “dependence” or “addiction”. In fact, most people do not reach this level of severity, and most of the short-lived anxiety is due to a sudden change in the formed behavior, resulting in a sense of discomfort, which can disappear over time and does not have a more serious impact on themselves. Kong Qingmei said: “People who worry about their ‘anxiety’ are generally not ‘socially dependent’. Adults generally have better self-control, and most teenagers also have some self-control as well as other control from their parents and elders. Many people are just addicted to it, but it does not affect their work life and does not reach the standard of “dependence”, so there is no need to be overly panic.” Change yourself to find self-confidence In the face of dependence, how to break it? This is the most important issue for everyone. If it is not a serious virtual social dependence, the main treatment is psychotherapy and family therapy. According to Professor Xie Bin of Shanghai Mental Health Center, people who are overly dependent on online social networking should first strictly control their online time and find a suitable way to vent their emotions. At the same time, in real life, they should communicate more with their relatives and friends, and at work, try to get more achievements for themselves. For teenagers, parents should avoid preaching and blaming as much as possible, communicate more, develop their communication skills, regain self-confidence, and try to interact with people instead of using the keyboard to knock words on a cold screen. Remove the vest on the Internet and be your true self in reality. Through hard work, try to enhance your career and relationships. At the same time, maintain a good state of mind, actively participate in various social activities, communicate more with people, and build a sound personality. A sign at a cafe reads, “We don’t have WiFi, talk to the people around you!” The farthest distance in the world is when I am right next to you and you are playing with your phone. Want to @ her (him) why not go to her (him)? In fact, no matter which application is used, it is just a social tool, just a way. People are autonomous, I choose the way, not the way to limit and choose me. The reality of interpersonal communication is better able to meet the interpersonal emotional needs. Xie Bin suggested that instead of relying on virtual social networking on the Internet, it is better to leave the computer and really get out of the house. A change of mindset will make our lives easier. The WeChat fiasco quickly subsided, most people have not had time to figure out why they are “anxious”, and began to happily enter their own “virtual social”. The author fears that the hearts of those who have experienced the storm still have a trace of ripples. Virtual social dependence still exists, no matter what, people eventually have to return to the community, the crowd. It is not because the network is down or the software is “jerking off” that the society stops functioning. So, it is best to communicate with people positively and often, not only to develop feelings but also to exercise their talents.