Be thankful Surely a good thing. The money we have wasted on improving our health and lives has run into millions of dollars, and those programs are simply not going to work, no matter how stirring the programs are or how determined the participants are, useless is useless. Many people think that the most advanced and expensive fitness equipment can provide answers to life’s problems, but it’s not. Remember the law of the whole: these all work together – body, mind, and spirit. You can change the physical condition as much as you want, but unless the habits of the mind and spirit change, we will never be able to understand wellness. Zhu Xiaocheng, General Surgery Department, Xuzhou Medical College Hospital What is the worst spiritual habit? It is the kind of habit that causes disappointment, loss and various diseases? I have heard people guess various answers, ranging from laziness to blaming God, some say it is the habit of continuation, others the habit of criticism, both are good choices. But really the worst is not knowing how to be thankful. Yes, ungrateful – lacking some gratitude and appreciation. A woman came to a seminar I was running in Greenwich, Connecticut, early in the morning and insisted on seeing me. After a few words, it was clear she had become emotionally, mentally and physically overwhelmed by being stuck in the middle of his problems. He complained about his cancer, the horror of the treatment, the poor doctor’s visits, and his family’s abandonment of him. Finally, unable to hold back any longer, I said, “Now that you’ve told me all the bad things that have happened to you, tell me the good things that have happened to you.” The lady was almost exasperated that nothing good had happened to him, and he was surprised at my insistence. I said, “There are lots of good things, you can walk, talk, breathe, see, hear, taste and smell, you don’t need to stay in bed all day, you are not helpless. You have some degree of health, or you wouldn’t be standing here tonight.” I advised him, “Listen carefully tonight, then go home and spend the next three weeks concentrating on the good things that have happened in your life, refusing to talk about your illness, and thanking God at all times for your health, happiness and life.” I decided to do my best to reach her that evening. When I think of the happiness in my life, I am moved by a letter written to me by a friend of mine who was imprisoned for tax evasion, one of the most powerful letters I have ever received. In the letter, my friend rebukes my complaints – rebukes me for getting stuck in a quagmire of ungratefulness and being unable to move forward. “You’re free – I hope that’s true. You have debts – I have them too. I’m paying back the government$165,000 a month for three years. You’re in sunny California and last night it was thirty-five degrees below zero here with three feet of snow. You’re doing what you love, and I’m a messenger and have to clean toilets every morning. (But I’m the best messenger they can find in a place like this!)” This letter hit the nail on the head, and as I read it again and again, it became very clear that I was approaching life with an ungrateful attitude and that I had to change and build a new self. A new page unfolded on my Contempo journey and the title was written: “I am thankful:” Under this title I divided the sheet into three lines: “People”, “Places” and “Things.” I became so inspired that I wrote like a gust of wind sweeping down leaves as I wrote: wife, daughter, love, health, life, home, car, books, ideas, opportunities – a long list of things for which I am thankful. The result is that through the eyes of gratitude, I have a new self, and I decide that I will keep this image in my consciousness, and it will be the image that keeps flashing through my mind, that the grateful me will be a new me! John? John Robert Lakefran? In his book “I have cancer, but I’m healthy”, Lakefran offers us an insightful reflection on gratitude: “I am grateful because I have never had a bad day, I have had days of disgust and days of fear, days of exertion and days of sadness, long days and short days, quiet days. I have had days of nausea and days of worry, days of exertion and days of sadness, long days and short days, quiet days and lonely days, cold days and warm days, days of sore mouths and days of swollen feet, days of baldness and days of diarrhea, days of rain and days of sun, days of cold and days of warmth, but I am thankful that there have never been bad days.” One simple idea that Lakefran teaches us can help us through difficult times is the law of gratitude; it is probably the most important part of the journey at Canté. Whenever you have a negative thought, use a thought of gratitude to cope with it; problems, negativity, and even illness can be improved through the sincere use of this law. Consider my friend who received a letter full of complaints from me in jail, he is the one who really has a reason to complain. Where was my gratitude? After he wrote back, we spoke on the phone. I said, “Thank you for opening my eyes to the fact that God has given me so many opportunities to help others, and thank you for helping me get the right outlook.” I expressed my gratitude to him. The Law of Heartfelt Gratitude asks us to express our gratitude more in actions than in words; my behavior pattern completely changed and I was determined to prove my words in action. My posture, the way I walked, even the expressions and gestures on my face took on a whole new look. I asked myself, “If I feel grateful, how am I going to show gratitude?” Then I immediately began to respond to this idea. I experimented with the law of mindful gratitude by expressing my gratitude for my wife’s love, and support. I thanked her, always starting the day with a hug and a kiss every morning, I said thank you for changing the food for three meals so that I could use a vegetarian diet, and I expressed all of it with genuine gratitude, not flattery. What’s the difference? One is genuine and sincere, the other is hypocritical and pretentious. Dar? Carnegie stated the difference very succinctly, “One comes out of the heart, the other from between the teeth.” I continue to work on gratitude in all major parts of my life – my health, my career, my finances, my relationships with a number of other important people, and my spiritual work. Some of the things listed on my gratitude list are my health, recovery from cancer, being able to walk, and strength after renewal. When I think about my career, I write that I am grateful for the ability to “help people, develop good listening skills, the ability to speak in front of a group of people, and the opportunity to write about things that are important to me.” I also express my deep gratitude to God for being the source of all good things and for being the only one who has the power to give us a new day. The more I think about these blessings in my life, the more I feel a significant change in my emotional and spiritual appearance. What has happened? I cognitively changed the way I expressed gratitude, and my whole being changed. The Law of Heartfelt Gratitude carries with it the potential to make the Kantian miracle happen, and the feeling of gratitude – that emotional and spiritual joy, abundance and freedom – made things better. It can change you and me, from the depths of the heart, before it can change us as a world. The woman I met in Greenwich, a few months after I counseled her, wrote to me, “It’s been a year since my last session, and I gladly accept those exams, and you were right, there is much to be thankful for.” It wasn’t that I was right, it was that he was doing the right thing, when he started to be grateful. Cantor asks us to be proactive in expressing our sincere gratitude. Try to look at a week, a day, or an hour and then observe the results and you will be amazed at the transformation in you, in your health, in your relationships and in your career, and even in your whole life. To affirm the good things in your life and then watch them spread out is the indisputable, indelible law of mindful gratitude.