After a year and several lives and deaths, I can sit at the table and type, and I think it’s time for me to think about this issue, to analyze and summarize objectively and scientifically, without any emotion, why it’s me who has cancer. It doesn’t make any sense to me to do this, but it may serve as a preventive measure for those around me. I have been struggling with cancer for a whole year, and I have been physically and mentally destroyed to the point of no return. I don’t want to see this happen to anyone, but I want to help them avoid it, even if they are the people I hate the most. The reason why I thought about this issue and tried to write it down was because, no matter what angle I analyzed it from, I should not be the one suffering from cancer.
I started to reflect on what I did not do well, so God gave me such a big joke and set such a severe test.
I. Habitual problems of eating habits
(1), blind eating eight eat
I am a person who will never refuse to taste at the table. Based on many objective reasons, such as my father is a chef and other superior conditions, I have eaten a lot of things that should not be eaten, incomplete statistics, peacocks, seagulls, whales, puffer fish, deer, antelope, bears, elk, reindeer, muntjac, pheasant, wild boar, five-step snake and so on and so forth. Except for the whale, which the supermarket bought for itself while in Japan, all the others were treated in a smooth manner. However, I had to reflect deeply that none of these things should be eaten.
Especially after I watched “Harmony Saves the Crisis”. Choosing to eat them and deprive them of life made me feel sinful. Destroying the harmony of the world, tyrannical to eat living creatures, harming nature to destroy life such words will not say, the main thing is, to be honest, these so-called heavenly delicacies, the taste is indeed very general indeed. That seagull meat, pressure cooker 4 hours of cooking and stewing is still hard like a stone, bite up like gnawing on a thousand-year-old vine in the forest, the meat fibers are so thick and dry and hard, so easy to gnaw down a bite stuffed in the teeth for two days to get out.
We have to believe that our wise ancestors, thousands of years of wisdom precipitation, they screened a long long long time, far longer than our life time countless times, before finally locking our current ingredients, and thus bred. If peacocks are better than chickens, then now chickens are peacocks and peacocks are chickens.
2), overeating
I am a frank and casual person, doing things with a sword in hand fast and furious, and eating with a big bowl of wine and a big mouthful of meat. I am famous for my appetite, in Europe when the mentor did not move to invite me to dinner, the reason is that the old lady did not have an appetite, see me eating to eat the wind is very addictive, with me to accompany the meal to tell jokes she has an appetite. Second, I am very gluttonous. The reason why it is called bluemm is because when I was studying in Fudan, my mentor had six graduate students who did the project together, and I was the only girl. But when the dinner, 5 boys did not eat more than I did.
Even after working, I still had back pain (in fact, it was already advanced bone metastasis) and went on a trip to Yangcheng Lake organized by the institute, eating 7 crabs a day. My favorite mobile game to play is Snake, although the kung fu is poor. On reflection, no matter how dexterous and resourceful you are, the consequences of gluttony are always self-fulfilling. Playing around, I was actually the one who ate my own gluttonous snake.
(3), meat-loving like life
Before I got sick, whenever I ate a meal without meat on the table, I would lose interest, and even if I ate a lot of that meal, I felt like I hadn’t eaten. My mom thinks this kind of eating habits, or eating habits, or genetics, are all my dad’s fault. My father was a national special chef in his early thirties, and in the 1990s, the title was harder to mix than it is now, so he was a bit of a celebrity in the local culinary scene. When I was in junior high school, it seemed that a third of the local cooks were his disciples, and those who knew him knew that I was the apple of his eye. As you can imagine, as long as I went to the restaurant, I would be called my “sister, uncle” cooks to the kitchen, can be hard to stuff. At that time there was no healthy diet, and the small northern town material scarcity, meat food is scarce. I ate all the meat dishes.
The second is that I really like seafood. Twelve years ago, the first time I went to the bald family, his family on the island of Zhoushan. Once inside the house, I was first attracted to the table full of seafood, even their family’s problems are briefly dismissed, and began to roar into the table battle, instantly my front pile up a mountain of crabs and shells. My in-laws smiled and looked at each other. My fighting power surpassed everyone’s budget, causing my mother-in-law to wash the dishes in the kitchen, and poor my father-in-law to go to the small vegetable market again to purchase because he was afraid that dinner would not be enough material. A decade later every time I mentioned my first meeting, my in-laws would laugh so hard they couldn’t stand up and ask me how I didn’t take into account everyone’s first impression of you. My remarks are: I certainly want to show people this I, if I feel that I do not eat well, I will not be allowed to be a daughter-in-law in-laws do not want, then rub a seafood is a meal, eat to the stomach is the king.
I am not here to write this is not to say that eating seafood is not good, but in reflecting on why I eat more to get sick: I am a child of the soil of northwest Lu, not the sea born and raised in the sea tide, one side of the land to raise one side of the people, bald daily eat raw shrimp raw crab is fine, and I will have such and such physical changes in long-term eating: married to the island is not the same as I have become a fisherman’s physique.
That said, after I got sick, bald head less than a week, exams like a blitz finished reading a lot of I do not know where to get the health food therapy books, such as Campbell’s “China Health Survey Report”, “cure cancer life-saving therapy” and so on, citing scripture, began to believe that the casein in milk has a strong cancer-promoting effect, animal food-based diet, will lead to the occurrence of chronic diseases (such as obesity, coronary heart disease, tumors, osteoporosis, etc.). tumors, osteoporosis, etc.), a diet based on plant foods is most beneficial to health and most effective in preventing and controlling chronic diseases. That is, eat more grains, vegetables and fruits, and less chicken, duck, fish, meat, eggs, milk, etc. Poor me, who was lying in bed and could only open my mouth to feed myself, turned from a tiger to a rabbit the day I started chemotherapy.
The experience of life and death about what to eat when chemotherapy, I will have time to write down to share with you, it is best that all people can not use all their lives, but in any case, like I know things like my own body needs to let people know, so as not to take a detour like I did.
Second, sleep habits
These words are not like my usual line blog, where to write, so I write this series very slowly, because I think these words are more valuable than my doctoral dissertation, than all my published academic articles have readers. I want to control myself as much as possible not to write a thousand words away from the topic, but also to systematically and carefully think back and analyze it again.
In this society nowadays, too many young people somehow get cancer or somehow die from overwork, and the reasons are often analyzed by the so-called experts or people around them. Because the person concerned has this disease, he or she has a very short time to live in the world, and does not have the mind or ability to write a long article to warn men and women in the world, and those who die from overwork are even less likely to jump up and explain the reason and then lie back in the coffin. As a young teacher of Fudan, I have the responsibility and obligation to do what I can do to make the living people around me live better, otherwise, just reading a doctoral degree will have terminal cancer, and it is not a martyrdom sacrifice to protect our country, so it is no different from Hongmao. I’m writing these words, even if a person benefits, I will let myself feel that there is still some value.
My usual habit is to sleep late. In fact, sleeping late is not a big deal at my age, and I don’t sleep late to get cancer. Everyone I know sleeps late and is in good health, but sleeping late is indeed very bad. Looking back on the past ten years, since the lights were out in my undergraduate dorm (in fact, I often slept late at that time), I basically did not sleep before 12:00. Studying, taking GT and other certificates that seem worthless now, and studying for graduate school are the obvious reasons, and at the same time, chatting, Internet chatting, BBS flooding, bouncing, eating, Karaoke, bowling, eating, and dawdling alone (called thinking) fill every night without an obvious reason. When the powerful all-nighter, the usual early to bed is basically before 1:00 at night. Then I had cancer and started to study Chinese medicine on my own, reading the Yellow Emperor’s Classic of Internal Medicine and so on. Here is a quote.
5 – 7 pm You time Kidney meridian in order
7 – 9 p.m. at the 11th hour, when the pericardium meridian is in order
9 – 11 pm at the hour of the day when the Sanjiao meridian is in order
11–1 pm, the gall bladder meridian is in order
1 – 3 a.m. Ugly time Liver meridian is in order
3 – 5 a.m. – 3 – 5 a.m. – 5 a.m. – 5 a.m. – 5 a.m. – 5 a.m.
5 – 7 a.m. Dangling of the large intestine meridian at dawn
Dangling means being on duty. In other words, it is these organs that play the main role at these times. From the point of view of health care, the body should not interfere with the work of these organs at these times. Resting prevents the body from allocating the body’s qi and blood to useless labor, and then all the qi and blood can be focused on helping the liver work when it is on duty.
In the long run, staying up late, or sleeping late, is very unhelpful to the body. My liver had several indicators that were high when the cancer was detected, but I had no previous liver problems. I was very curious and anxious to understand why my liver function was a little off, since I couldn’t continue chemotherapy with poor liver function. Soon after I found the following quote.
Dou Xiaoguang, director of the infection department at Shengjing Hospital of China Medical University, said that staying up late is directly harmful to the liver. When staying up late, all the blood in the body is supplied to the brain, and the blood supply to the internal organs will be reduced accordingly, resulting in a lack of oxygen to the liver, which will cause damage to the liver in the long run.
From 23:00 to 3:00 the next day, the liver is the most active time, but also the liver’s best detoxification period, if the liver function is not rested, it will cause a relative lack of blood flow to the liver, the damaged liver cells are difficult to repair and aggravate the deterioration. The liver is the largest metabolic organ in the body, and liver damage is enough to damage the whole body. Therefore, the saying “staying up late for a long time is equal to chronic suicide” is not exaggerated. Therefore, doctors recommend that people go to bed from about 23:00 and go into a deep sleep from 1 to 3:00 the next day to nourish the liver and blood.
After I got sick I was at peace, and to be honest, the objective situation was that I basically lost the ability to take care of myself and had to crane my neck to ask for a straw to drink water, not to mention staying up late to dance. So I went to bed early every day, and then started eating mung bean water, natural vitamin B, and omnivorous porridge every day. The amazing thing is that while other patients’ liver function was getting worse with chemotherapy, I actually recovered and my liver function was completely back to normal by the second chemotherapy.
I hope this paragraph will contribute to those who need help. I also sincerely hope that my friends, believe in the old saying that a thousand miles is destroyed by an ant’s nest. We are modern people, can not be separated from the trajectory of social development and the pace of modern life and the interference around us, then, when you can control more control, when you can go to bed early try to treat your body well. Some things, movies or BBS or Karaoke, think of nothing more than sensory enjoyment, after that moment, are floating clouds.
The only thing stepping on the ground, is your healthy body.
Third, surprise homework
This part, I do not know whether to count as a habit of rest or work habits.
I don’t know whether to be proud or ashamed, standing on the edge of a fragile life, looking back at the first half of the rolling beacon of thirty years, I found myself actually spending more than twenty years reading, reading the word, its meaning is profound. Only I know how much I have gained from it.
Perhaps only I know that I am in the name of reading, squandering my youth and life. Because for quite a long time I was known as the uncompromising 2W woman. The 2w girl is a girl who only studies seriously 2 weeks before the exam: 2 weeks.
All kinds of big exams and small exams, all kinds of professional exams, all kinds of qualification exams (except for college entrance exams, graduate school and GT), probably I will not prepare for longer than two weeks. Don’t think I’m a smart kid, and don’t think I’m showing off my smarts, I’m just describing my life as it really was.
I am a person with little self-control, a person with little self-control who is competitive, a person with little self-control who is competitive and never admits defeat. Even at the beginning of the school year I knew clearly and unambiguously that I should study well, otherwise I might have failed which which exam, but I still couldn’t nail myself to the desk. The good thing about being young is that you never have to worry about the days passing slowly. I don’t know what I’m busy with, it’s like waking up all of a sudden and finding out it’s nine o’clock and I’m late for work. Whenever I want to get up and study, it’s almost two weeks before the exam. My previous mantra was: I can’t get excited about studying until I’m DEALINE.
Then I started to work hard on my assignments in order to get a good result and a good grade that even smart people can only hope for day in and day out. So whenever I bury my head in the hard study, I will torment myself, never to consider the body, health and other words, I just treat myself like an animal, fast, non-stop, day and night, forgetting to eat and sleep, vomiting, suffering. The highest record of 21 hours of reading a day, read two and a half days to go to the exam.
This is not enough, I will find something for myself from time to time, people take a futures qualification, I want to take, people take a CFA, I want to take, people take a legal examination, I want to take. I want to test is a good thing, but every time I think after forgetting, buy the book enrolled, unless others reminded, I will completely forget that I had the pursuit of the idea, wait until the exam there are a couple of weeks, I came to my senses, and begrudge those registration fees test fees book fees, so I can only go hard to fight. Every time I try my best, every time I shed a layer of skin, bald every time I look at me thin, said, ha ha, you went to the test again what useless certificate?
However, I am not Feng Heng (Huang Rong’s mother, Huang Laozhi’s wife), even if I am Feng Heng, have the ability to forget, in the end, Feng Heng strong memory of a book are also tired of vomiting. Not to mention the sky is not smart from the capital I?
I don’t know how many books I have memorized, but of course those books are easier than the Nine-Yin Sutra, but in the long run, the higher the level, those books became as difficult for me to understand as the Nine-Yin Sutra. So I have two weeks before each round of exams to remember down, are very hurt, hurt to must be buried in a big sleep for two or three days to get over the strength. This is the first time I’ve ever been to a school, and I’ve never been to a school before.
After getting sick bald head and I reflect on the previous mistakes, that I never do things in a long time, and the usual as men, vigorously swing the axe to high-intensity assault operations is the first offender to hurt my body’s immune function. His analogy is: a usually stumbling has not been warranty car, a step on the gas pedal all day and all night to run crazy crazy drive half a month. A year to engage in a four or five times, is the steel and iron car, was so tossed to drive, drive a twenty years also scrapped.
Deeply reminded like me once in the dealine before the surprise operation of comrades.
Fourth, environmental issues
Typing these words, as if the potatoes memorized the poem: draw the sword four hearts at a loss.
This problem is too big, so big that I do not know how to analyze, even if it is specific to my own. However, if I do not think and analyze, I am afraid that many people are difficult to analyze: I am in Norway, after all, is the study of environmental economics, the matter in the body of the bald more ironic, his scientific research direction is environmental governance and environmental materials research and development.
I’m a big and rough life, never complained about how bad the surrounding environment, went to Japan in 2001 to stay near Hokkaido for a while, is to admire the environment is good, but also really do not dislike Shanghai how bad. 04 years when I heard a Gang Bu (a Japanese) complained about getting off the plane felt sore throat very snicker, secretly said: we are so bad environment here, you Why do you still come here? Why don’t you just turn around and go back to your original class?
My real experience of air pollution was when I returned from Norway in 2007, and the moment I got off the plane in Beijing, I suddenly felt my eyes were sore and my throat was clogged. Perhaps the Japs didn’t mean to humiliate our ever-changing Shanghai. We have been living in such an environment, of course, we are not sensitive, but if you run to a place with a fresh environment for a few years, you will have a deep understanding. There were a number of friends who returned to China at the same time, and we were talking on the phone about how we really didn’t seem to fit in: dry throats, choking air, noisy supermarkets, and cars rushing around on the streets. It’s not pretentious, it’s true. This is not a complaint, this is the feeling from the heart.
Half a year back home, Fang Fang Amon and I invariably fell ill, either with a cold or a fever or a small operation, bald ridiculed us, is that Norway is too clean, like a sterile laboratory, a bunch of Chinese rats shut inside a few years and then put back into the original environment, the body’s immune system and antibodies can not resist the invasion of germs outside the laboratory. Yes, among my few friends back home, except for me, Mason had chest cancer and Gan Lin had a blood-related disease.
Perhaps, this is just whining. Unless the nation awakens, we are powerless to change this fact, this environment, this national condition.
If you look up the data on the Internet, you will find alarming statistics: the published data now says that the total incidence of cancer is around 180/100,000 people, that is, 180 people in every 100,000 people have cancer. The city with the highest cancer incidence rate in China: Shanghai. According to statistics, the cancer incidence rate in Shanghai doubled in 1980 compared to 1963, surpassing Beijing and Tianjin by 25%, making it the first city in China. And the cancer surveillance data from Shanghai Center for Disease Control and Prevention shows that the cancer incidence rate of women in Shanghai has nearly doubled compared to 20 years ago, and one out of every 100 Shanghai women is a cancer patient, which is also much higher than other cities in China.
Perhaps I look at this text differently than everyone else because I am more aware that behind every statistic representing a patient is a life about to leave this world and a home that is no longer complete with a torn heart.
I am not saying that the pollution in Shanghai gave me cancer, but I feel that this may be a factor in the cause of my many cancers: I should not have come out of a sterile lab without any transition time, and I was playing hard to catch up with my dissertation, and in the surrounding environment of air pollution, water pollution and food safety crisis, the pressure was too much when my immunity was all down, plus all the things accumulated for a long time all at once The outbreak.
Ten years ago, I had a non-campus gap of one year between undergraduate and graduate school, during which I worked, studied and went to Japan. Except for the trip to Japan, I lived in a relative’s new house in Pudong. The new house was newly decorated with new furniture. At first the new room smelled a bit, I was quite environmentally conscious to avoid the two months back to Shandong. And so back from Shandong, see the room smell dissipated, I also have peace of mind to live in.
07 years house processing, bald head pity those basic not how to use the furniture, when some of the baby like a thousand miles from Pudong pulled to Minhang R & D center with. The result was that the furniture was tested in the yard, and the result was that the furniture was tested in the yard, and the result was that the furniture was tested in the yard, and the result was that the furniture was tested in the yard, and the result was that the furniture was tested in the yard, and the result was that the furniture was tested in the yard, and the result was that the furniture was tested in the yard, and the result was that the furniture was tested in the yard, and the result was that the furniture was tested in the yard, and the result was that the furniture was tested in the yard, and the result was that the furniture was tested in the yard. The result was that the furniture was tested like a bolt from the blue.
Bald head immediately petrified.
However, it was too late, six months after the fact, I found out breast cancer, the doctor began to say cancer popular education, so that bald head from time to time in the light of the head, has been flashing out that set of furniture and the batch of formaldehyde exceeded the standard data that he resented.
The doctor said: the lump of a tumor is not easy to form, the occurrence of cancer requires a long-term, gradual process that goes through multiple stages. It usually takes 10 to 20 years, or even longer, to evolve from normal cells to cancer cells and then to form a tumor. Cancer can only occur when risk factors severely damage the body’s defense system, the body’s ability to repair is reduced, and intracellular genetic variants accumulate to a certain level.
The multiple stages of cancer development are: normal cells → mild atypical hyperplasia (impaired differentiation) → moderate atypical hyperplasia → severe atypical hyperplasia (carcinoma in situ) → early carcinoma (intramucosal carcinoma) → invasive carcinoma → metastatic carcinoma. In terms of the natural course of disease, even hepatocellular carcinoma, which used to be called the “king of cancers”, has a survival time of 3-6 months from detection to death. It is estimated that there is at least 2 years from the beginning of cancer (when AFP starts to rise at a low level) to the advanced stage, and the actual time from the development of a single cancer cell to the elevation of AFP is much longer.
In other words, my breast cancer is probably the seeds planted by the furniture at that time. Those cancer cells have been waiting for a long time, waiting for the time when my body’s immune defenses have collapsed to attack.
The bald head was speechless, and I was speechless. It was a fatal oversight, but who could have imagined it?
One day in the ward, the night chat, I and bald head coincidentally talk about these furniture, I lamented the inability to prevent while joking: maybe you that national patent later sold very hot, journalists will be dedicated to report you: formaldehyde furniture crippled his wife to death, a professor of Jiaotong University’s lifelong invention of revenge and so on. Where to think of bald head hysterical dumb throat shouting: “I’d rather fucking do nothing for life, but do not want to see such words from anyone’s mouth.” I suddenly realized: my words to his heart is not a joke, but a great irony. A person who spent his life buried in the laboratory invented a new material to remove formaldehyde, never realized that his loved one was immersed in the environment of excessive formaldehyde for years and years, and eventually got a terminal illness.
I was in Ruijin Hospital for half a year, and within half a year I had contact with about thirty to fifty patients. The beginning of the hospitalization of that period of cancer pain is unbearable this life disregard, and then not so painful, they began to chat in the ward.
I read two master’s and one doctoral course, and I don’t know how many times I repeated the two courses of social statistics and social survey. The young work is difficult to waste the old tricks do not give up, consciously or unconsciously in the ward chat, I will be like a social researcher, with a professional and careful thinking began to ask some questions on the side. It was a spontaneous scientific research because I always wanted to understand what kind of people would get cancer. Sometimes I feel like I am a young researcher lurking in the cancer ward when I get carried away. The irony is that the reality is that I am a cancer patient lurking among young research scholars.
The long latent sample sampling (n>50) gives me enough confidence to disprove a long-standing stereotype about the character of breast cancer patients, who do not necessarily experience chronic depression. It is safe to say that too few and far between breast cancer patients have introverted and gloomy personalities. On the contrary, too many have a tendency to be control-oriented, power-hungry, competitive, impatient, and extroverted. And these sample patients all had extremely similar family economic backgrounds: many of them had family businesses, either at home or in factories, and their husbands were like promises from the emperor’s side; they were in charge once they became emperor. Family economic background does not really mean anything, because people who come to Ruijin for treatment, especially foreigners, without a strong economic background, is not likely to stay in that hospital for a long time to cure.
The character of the patients around me, I could not help but start to reflect on my own character. I really like my own character, even once at the wine table by a buddy half-jokingly said in a previous life must be a Shandong female rattlesnake also do not think. I never thought there was anything wrong, and then I got sick and had to admit that my character was not good: I like to win too much, too much like to do the best in everything, too much like to lead the big picture, too much like to worry, too much unwillingness to do nothing.
In short, is that I could not see through before.
I once tried to get a Norwegian master’s degree and a Fudan doctorate at the same time for three and a half years, just like Yuan Yuan got two degrees in three years. However, a PhD is not a master’s degree. I worked hard day and night, but in the end I didn’t finish the goal I set for myself, and I was annoyed to death. Now I think that I just want to work hard and die, but in the end, I will only graduate one year earlier. But who on earth would care if I graduated a year early or a year late with my PhD?
I tried to be a good female scholar. Although I am not very good at research, but since I have taken the path of research, I should have a look. My ambition was to be an associate professor in two or three years, so I started to try my best to publish articles and work on projects, although I was very confused about what to do after I achieved my goal of being an associate professor. Of course, I am very sure that I am responsible to say that some of the garbage I know are not really as good as me in terms of research ability and moral character. I don’t want to talk about these things, I don’t know if it is my life’s goal to fight for my life, I can’t say it is a foolish thing to do. I realized after getting sick that people should base their happiness on sustainable and long-lasting goals in life, not just on transient fame and power.
I was not born with the ability to take care of household chores, but I like to worry about it. The actual fact is that you can find a lot of people who are not able to do the job. A month before the disease moved, bald sleepwalking like nothing, wondering how the night before and the night after will sleep in different places. Later, when I got sick, I suddenly found out that Bald Head was not a nerd who had lost his daily life in his previous life, as I thought. I did not care about anything, he and the potatoes can live a good life. The only thing is that it cost a few more silver. But the silver is only silver, CPI rise, inflation, I am a heart to worry about, thirty years later can save how much it? If parents have 10,000 thirty years ago, basically can be comparable to the current millionaire’s price, but in fact, now 10,000 yuan can not buy the year 500 yuan of things.
After nine deaths, I suddenly feel that life is easy. I don’t want to control the big picture, don’t want to meddle in light matters, I no longer have opponents, no longer have enemies, and I no longer care who is stronger than who, the subject or the task is also put aside for the time being. Everything in the world, watching the flowers across the river, the wind is light and clear.