Some days ago, a good friend’s mother suffered from a serious and advanced tumor. The children went around and looked for famous experts at home and abroad, but the consensus was that all kinds of treatments were not effective, and they could only try some palliative methods. After discussion, the friends’ family decided not to tell the old man’s condition and did not want to do too much more palliative treatment, hoping that the old man would have some mental peace and it would be better to have a miracle. More than two months passed and the patient was about to pass away. The mother asked her child about her condition, and the child continued to make up words to comfort her mother. After the old man was awake again, he told the child that he was so seriously ill and he was not stupid, and had long guessed that he had cancer. She herself did not want to believe it, and did not pierce the window in order to relieve the child’s stress and burden. I hoped that my child would tell me the truth. The child briefly told the situation in an evasive manner. The mother calmly explained a lot of things. And regretfully told the child that if she had told him earlier, she would have had to do something and meet some people, and now there was no time and no need. With the old man’s regret, my friend and I discussed in depth the matter of whether we should tell the old man about his condition or not. In fact, this matter involves the customs and totems of our people, the reverence for death, and the love for the elderly. In the West, there are legal implications for not telling patients about their condition. In addition we are often willing to be overly considerate of others, even to the point of making decisions for them, and to extend our own feelings and emotions to the patient. Young outpatients are rarely unaware of their condition and often seek care by themselves. What exactly will the patient’s reaction be when he/she knows he/she has a tumor? First of all, he will realize that his life is coming to an end. There will be three stages of psychological changes. In the first stage, he will not believe in the diagnosis. In the second stage, he will attribute to the outside world, blame some things or people for his own harm, and complain about how the bad people do not have cancer. In the third stage, he will objectively recognize and admit his illness, accept others’ advice, pay attention to the good treatment results around him, and cooperate with doctors for active treatment. It shows a strong desire to live and a will to fight. How can we get through the first two stages as soon as possible? At the beginning of medical treatment, family members will have more or less psychological reactions of anxiety, depression, and adaptation disorders, and patients will also have this reaction when they know their condition. The family members have a bad psychological reaction, bear the pain, and are afraid that telling the truth will trigger psychological problems in the patient, so they are reluctant to let the patient know. This is understandable and correct at the beginning of the medical visit. A family with psychological problems at the same time and no normal person to rely on is often in a vicious cycle of hugging and crying, and can fall into despair. However, it is not right to avoid going to oncology hospital when there are specialties in tree industry. Especially for patients with late stage, because other hospitals don’t have some special equipment for tumor, which affects the diagnosis and treatment effect and often causes irregularity and deviation of treatment. At this time, patients should be told that going to oncology hospital is to exclude tumor and wait for the examination results to come out to make clear diagnosis. This is acceptable for the elderly who are in the stage of high tumor incidence. In fact, it has become fashionable in the whole society to do medical checkups in oncology hospitals. The medical checkup centers are so crowded that it takes a long time to make an appointment. Some problems are not always detected in non-specialized hospitals. When the family is psychologically calm, it’s time to find the time to tell the patient’s condition. The time to tell can be delayed appropriately. For example, after a certain treatment, avoid telling the patient that the condition is mild and the response and effect of the treatment is good. Through this time lag between the family and the patient’s emergence of the psychological response period, the patient is encouraged to enter the third stage of the psychological response as soon as possible through contact with patients with better treatment outcomes. Some even more so, the whole family panics when tumor is suspected in the local hospital. The family members come to the hospital for consultation. Once the doctor supports the diagnosis of tumor, they become indignant and vent out their psychological problems, as if the doctor is the culprit of the tumor. The family members should understand that the doctor is there to save the patient just like you. As for how much money you will spend, how much difficulty you will have, how much aggravation you will have, whether your loved one has a tumor or not, these are not caused by the doctor. Doctors are your comrades in the fight against tumors, giving you techniques, explaining and comforting you, but never the culprit who caused the tumor. Regular national hospitals are not casinos that cheat you of money, especially in public hospitals, the charges are only symbolic, that is, the condition of receiving 80 cents for ten dollars. What is expensive is the consumable products used in the treatment, not a penny less can be charged, the doctor also has nothing to do with this, the hospital has to compensate for the less charge. The matter of informing patients of their condition is different, and in our country it is still the patient’s family business. The doctor can give reasonable advice, but the doctor’s main job is to diagnose and treat. For the good of the patient, you can’t go and interfere with the doctor’s main job with household chores. One professor at Peking University wanted to give his wife a good treatment and asked that she not know a little information about the disease. All day long, he was so busy hiding the patient that he vetoed all the tests and treatments suggested by the doctor. In fact, this only satisfied his personal psychological needs and was an irresponsible approach to the patient. As a result, three months of taking herbal medicine developed from an early stage that could be operated to an advanced stage of systemic metastasis. Sending the patient away, he kept saying to me that he had harmed his wife and was sorry for her and his family. In fact, he was violating his loved ones in personality and depriving them of their right to health. As long as we deal with psychological problems in accordance with the norms of treatment and the principle of time lag, and recognize the harm of avoiding treatment, we will be able to make the patient enter the third stage of psychological reaction as soon as possible, and we will be able to find a rational, personalized path to medical treatment that maximizes the benefits of comprehensive treatment. In fact, in our country, we know that during the consultation, patients know or guess the general condition. It is impossible for patients not to notice spider traces when something big happens in the family. It’s just that relatives hide it from each other and take care of each other’s emotions without piercing this thin layer of window paper. Doctors often become the middleman. A good doctor, a doctor who understands psychology, will have a good grasp of the level of informing. This Chinese model of informing is probably the best way to make both the patient and the family cooperate normally during the consultation and treatment.