Many parents see “bringing up children” as a hard job, and many of them have no time or thought about how to get their own fun from “bringing up children”. Look at this article and you will find that you may have been thinking about the wrong thing about “bringing up children”! The difference between “playing with children” and “playing with children” is only one word, but a thousand miles. Although both are “with the child”, but a “with” more or less reflects the will of the parent as the main body; and “and” shows the interaction between two equal subjects. Regardless of the age of our children, we as parents should treat them as an individual, equal to us. The child is not an appendage of us, nor is he or she subordinate to us. Therefore, if we put the cart before the horse in the relationship between parents and children, although the hope is the same, the result must be contrary. Playing with your child is a true inclusion and engagement. Make up the rules of the game or what to play together with your child, and then put down your own posture to be a real playmate for your child, to be involved with your child, to feel and climb high and low, to give your best. As long as the rules of the game are agreed upon by both parties, they will be enforced to the end and adhered to. As for the outcome after playing together, it doesn’t matter if you always admit defeat on purpose, it doesn’t matter if you design it carefully, and it doesn’t need to be too purposeful or goal-oriented. The actual situation, according to their own heart, happy together is good. My son now likes to have a speed competition with me when we go through the small park after school. He runs on foot and I ride my bike, assigning a destination, and the first one to get there wins! Of course, when running there are shortcuts to choose from, while biking there is only one road available. At first I was careless and said to my son with the absolute advantage of a cyclist: “I’ll let you count to five, and when I count to five I’ll start moving forward!” My son looked at me and provocatively said, “You’re going to lose!” When I started to count “1”, my son spread his legs and flew up, and when I counted to 5, he had already traveled almost half of the distance. When I desperately pedal to the end of the ride, my son has been sitting proudly on the stone pier waiting for me. After seeing my figure and laughing, I followed with a sarcastic smile, and then told him never to let him again! My son concluded, “I gave it my all, and you lost your mind!” Playing with children requires creating a state and way of freedom. It is true that the IQ of adults and children are not on the same level. But it is also undeniable that when it comes to many things, adults do not have the same kind of dedication as children, especially when it comes to playing with children. If you just “play with your child”, then parents may be in the concern whether the child is hot or cold; need to drink water; safe or not on such issues, and ignore the feelings of the child. The “play with children”, parents need to be fully engaged in a free state of mind and body to participate in the child’s world, not only always understand the child’s external characteristics, but also to appreciate the child’s inner desires and needs. Some time ago, my son said he wanted to teach me a spelling method of his newly learned magic ruler, so I was busy with the matter at hand, so I did it with him in a perfunctory manner. As a teacher, he taught me patiently and meticulously, not only hand to hand, but also every action to stop and so on me, where he helped me to do a good step, he will then dismantle the let me re-spell. There is the process of teaching, there is the process of assessment, looking at him so dedicated, so I can not help but put down everything in hand, fully engaged in. Until finally I could put it together alone, he nodded with satisfaction and praised me as a good student. And I experienced my son’s patience and meticulousness in this process, and I could even feel the way and method his teacher taught him during his kindergarten days. This made me really relieved and happy. Playing with children is a test of parents’ emotional intelligence. Nowadays, many parents lose their judgment and comprehension as adults when dealing with their children. Because we are so hopeful that we can give our children a different future, that we can give them the qualities we want them to have. We are so fearful, so worried that they will lose at the starting line that we unconsciously bring too much purpose when we are with our children: playing with blocks to train children’s spatial skills, reading to make children have good language skills …… including the time we can easily spend together, often also The purpose of the “play” is designed to enlighten the child in certain areas. And with these utilitarian, but often let the game, play lost its own meaning, want to speed is not achieved. Don’t count too much on the goal, don’t stress too much on the purpose. In fact, with children, itself is an unparalleled happiness, quietly watching them laughing and playing, running in the sun, trick-or-treating in the room, laughing with the children …… do not need special cooperation, growth is such a silent. Before we have time to find out, the child has grown up! Be with your children, for even just ten minutes a day, put down your work, your phone, your magazines, or even your mood, and just be with them wholeheartedly! Believe that mountains are not built up in a day, and every state of your child will be an accumulation of your own later. As a parent, being with them, paying attention to them, believing in them and recognizing them is more important than anything else.