Whether you are a mother of two or not, or a mother preparing to have two children, before meeting the arrival of the second. Please do these 6 things 1, the second child is not to share the cake often heard people say that if there is a cake, only child will be able to enjoy alone, two children will only be able to share half, if more children, each share the cake is even less. But I want to say that the love of parents for their children is not a math problem, there are two children or more children, can not let the oldest feel that the younger brother / sister is to “divide” the love of parents. 2, can not have a second, with the oldest bed Many parents have a second immediately with the oldest bed, so that the oldest is not yet independent ability to a room by himself! Think about it from the boss’s point of view: why brother / sister came, mom and dad will not sleep with me? A good lonely in the room by himself …… Of course, except the oldest has reached the age of bed-sharing, or he himself is willing to sleep alone. If you really want to sleep separately, please share the bed before the second one is born to give the oldest one an adjustment period; or let mom take care of the second one and let dad sleep with the oldest one; or modify a tatami mat so that the family can sleep on it. 3. Don’t scare the boss: “I want a brother, not you” Tell the boss: Mom and dad won’t change their love for you just because you have a brother/sister! Some parents love to joke, although not the intention but also inadvertently hurt the child’s heart, such as: look how cute your brother / sister, Mom does not want you! There are also elders in the family deliberately scare the oldest: your mother gave you a brother / sister, they do not want you! Parents must not say such things to scare the oldest, otherwise the young mind will really think that parents want to abandon him. If you can’t stop people from making such jokes, then mom and dad must seriously tell the oldest, with a brother / sister also love you, you will always be mom and dad’s little baby. 4, do not compare the two children Never compare the two children, not to mention both are biological! Often intentionally or unintentionally make comparisons between two children, only to make them guess who their parents love more and who they hate more. Especially if some children are born with higher intelligence and the other child is relatively weak in all areas, parents will unconsciously praise the “smart” child and ignore the weak one. As parents should accept each child’s shortcomings and differences, so that the two children learn from each other’s strengths, play their strengths, and progress together. 5, the oldest should give way to younger siblings? The answer is no. Children will inevitably fight with each other and grab things, so how will parents react? In the end, who should help? Advise parents to do what they should do, do not persuade the fight! Siblings have an innate pattern of getting along with each other, who is strong, who compromises, and who makes up or doesn’t give in to each other are the children’s business, not the parents to be the judge. The most important point is never to say: you are the oldest, give way to your younger siblings! Otherwise, the child is prone to insecurity, that they lost the enjoyment of parental love “qualifications”, he is more confused, are mom and dad’s children, why should give way to younger siblings. 6, do not give the second to wear the oldest old clothes This view will have many people feel confused, and even opposed, but Amoy mom still want to make a little advice …… The child itself grows fast, many clothes are not worn bad but small, throw it strange pity, then stay for the second to wear it. But if the second already know aesthetics, they will choose beautiful clothes, give him to wear older siblings’ old clothes he will think: why I always wear old clothes? But mom bought new clothes for my brother and sister? Mom is not biased? Suggestion: When the baby is small, you can feel free to give him old clothes to wear older siblings; when the baby grows up, there is a love of beauty, the mother can take the “older siblings to send clothes” way, just say: this dress is very beautiful, older siblings to give you to wear, I hope you like. In this way, not only to avoid the second that the mother is biased, but also to enhance the relationship between siblings.