Many parents tell me, “How come my child only imitates my words when I ask him to, but rarely speaks on his own initiative?” In fact, learning to communicate verbally is not as simple as “learning from me”. The process of verbal communication requires having the meaning you want to express, choosing the right words in your head, and the correct pronunciation. After speaking, you have to be able to understand other people’s responses and come up with appropriate words to respond. Therefore, the process of communication is actually a complex process. When parents understand this, they can know that we must guide our children with more patience and master more ways to help them learn language. (a) It all starts with interest To engage your child in learning to communicate with language, you must start with his interest so that there are goals worthy of their efforts. These goals can be food, toys, activities, or even some special interests. Anything the child enjoys or an activity can be used for training. We call these items “reinforcers”. Parents know their children best. There are “favorites” and “average” things that they like, just like our favorite stars. We can also use this to our advantage by letting our children do more multiple choice questions. Only when he says what he wants can he be satisfied. For example, if a child wants a toy car and says the word “car” or a similar sound in order to get it, the parent should give him the toy car right away. This way, the child will gradually learn the connection between language and objects. Alternatively, parents can hold the toy car and the doll in each hand and let the child say “car” before handing him the car. This will give the child a positive message that talking brings me joy and a favorable outcome. (2) Say goodbye to disruptive behavior Once you have found an object or activity that the child enjoys, it is time to ask the child to talk to get what he or she wants. In our experience with individual cases, this is not an easy process, especially when the child has been used to using disruptive behaviors such as crying, tantrums, and hurting themselves to achieve their goals. We ask parents to be determined and not to give up. The goal is simply: to let the child learn to express himself by using sounds instead of noise. For example, if the child wants a pie, the mother demonstrates how to say “pie” and waits for and encourages the child to imitate it. If the child says “pie”, the mother immediately gives him the pie. Repeat this procedure over and over to reinforce that words are the only way for the child to be satisfied, not noisy behavior. Parents need to gauge the child’s abilities and set reasonable expectations. If a child who previously only used actions or cries to express his demands can now use his voice to express them. This is a sign that the child is making an effort to communicate and parents should meet the child immediately without requiring the correct pronunciation. In addition, you should also reach a consensus with your family members to avoid any inconsistency in your child’s demands and confusion. (3) Put the initiative in your child’s hands In life, parents do not have to be attentive to their children. Sometimes, our blindness will stimulate the child’s desire to express his or her demands; our pretending to be stupid will make the child feel happy to point out your mistakes. Parents can also play the “give orders” game with their children and let them make demands of us. Take your child out into the world more often. Parents can start by asking their children the question, “What is this?” If the child does not know the answer, teach him to ask the same question to the people around him. In short, we can take every opportunity to play and learn with our children at the same time. Let your child discover the joy of active talking.