For many parents who do not know the philosophy of “parent-child praise,” “very good” and “really smart” have become their mantra, and this kind of praise does not make children fully realize their own value. This kind of praise does not make children fully realize their value, and is unscientific and ineffective. Parents may want to try to replace generalized praise with matter-of-fact praise, and review and summarize with their children after the praise, which is an ideal way of parent-child interaction. “President Barack Obama is so sure of the importance of praise to children’s development that he often takes the initiative to communicate with his daughter: “Did I give you a compliment today? ” Praise will give children more strength and confidence to grow up happily, but in real life, how do parents praise their children? From the survey results, it seems that many parents still need to learn and improve. A few days ago, a survey of 50 post-70s and 80s parents (male to female ratio of 1:1) found that “very good” and “really smart” became the mantra of more than 60% of parents praising their children, and only 30% of parents would choose Only 30% of parents would choose “realistic praise”. In terms of learning complimenting techniques, more than 50% of parents learn by “sharing with other parents”, while more than 20% of parents still “have no idea” about complimenting their children. “Children like it when you praise them for being pretty, beautiful and smart.” Xiaoyu, whose son is 3 years old, believes that complimenting a child is “actually very simple”, that is, to say what you like. Lulu, on the other hand, believes that children are happy with whatever encouragement they receive and that it helps build their confidence. However, only 30% of the parents surveyed would communicate with their children again after praising them. Kelly, the general manager of a well-known human resources company, showed a different kind of sanity from other parents, saying that praising their children realistically and with encouragement can help them build confidence from little to little. Many parents said they either begrudge praise to their children or express it in an exaggerated form without mastering the skill of praise. “When I evaluate my son’s best writing, he turns his head and doesn’t write, but comes to mess up instead.” White-collar Ms. Xue’s experience is the same as many parents who, when giving their children exhaustive words of praise, find that they instead appear to give up, resist and mess up. In the opinion of senior local early childhood expert Jia Quan, parents’ generalized praise adds psychological pressure to the child instead. The actual fact is that you will not be able to get a good deal on your own. In fact, regardless of whether your child is introverted or extroverted, don’t be stingy with your praise when it’s time to praise your child. For introverted children, we need to give more affirmation, for example, introverted children in doing something, because of fear of making mistakes will pay attention to the reaction of adults, which has a lot to do with family education, parents at this time a look for the child is also a great encouragement. 2.Replacing general praise with matter-of-fact praise Parents around you, are you always praising your child “you’re great”, “really great”, “really good-looking”? It is important to praise with skill and patience. This kind of praise for the sake of praise is the most common behavior among parents, and it is a sign that the child is not being sincere. The most basic principle is to praise for the sake of praising. How does it work exactly? First mention the child’s behavior, then praise, for example, “Baby, you can throw the ball (behavior), that’s great (praise)!” Remember to praise the right thing, not the right person, and the same goes for criticism. Praise the good qualities that your child has acquired through learning, such as “polite” and “hardworking”, instead of praising natural advantages, such as “cute” and “handsome”, “We should praise more about the qualities that we want to develop in our children. 3. Review and summarize after praise When your child has good performance, praise in time, then review with your child afterwards, discuss the shortcomings of the incident with your child, let your child learn to self-criticism, remind your child to pay attention to the shining points of others, which can help your child develop the good habit of self-criticism and appreciation of others. It is worth noting that parents’ praise and criticism should be consistent, so that children can establish clearer guidelines for judging right and wrong. 4.Generous acceptance of praise from outsiders When foreigners praise their children, parents mostly say “thank you” generously. Traditionally, Chinese parents are introverted and often say, “No, no, no, he’s not that great” when someone praises their child. The correct approach is: parents graciously accept the praise of outsiders, and then review it with their children afterwards, so that they can share how they view the praise of others and guide them correctly, which is an important parent-child interaction. 5, praise should be different according to the child’s age Children aged 0-6 years old need more detailed, behavior-specific praise from parents. As the child grows slowly, parents should be more skillful in their praise, focusing on appreciating and discovering the child’s highlights, helping the child establish the right values through praise, and even talking about the shortcomings as equals after praise. Some parents are afraid of praising their children too much, preferring not to praise them or even suppressing them, which is extremely detrimental to their children’s growth. An inspirational children’s book written by U.S. President Barack Obama himself. In this letter to his daughter, Obama tells the stories of 13 inspiring American heroes and praises and encourages children. Obama makes a succinct summary of each character in the book: Martin Luther King’s never give in and compassion, Helen Keller’s not bowing to fate, George Washington’s patriotism …… Obama sees a lineage of these wonderful qualities in his daughter as well as in the nation’s children. The great king of fairy tales once commented, “Praise children more, and the future of the nation will be strong.”