Orgasm after cancer treatment
Almost all female patients are able to have orgasms after cancer treatment just as they did before treatment. Most orgasms are as easy to achieve as they were before treatment, but one requires some exercise practice. There are many books and visuals that describe the detailed steps women take to achieve orgasm.
”I have problems reaching orgasm, what should I do?”
If you are able to enjoy the pleasure of sexual contact but still have trouble reaching orgasm, you need to try some new ways to make you more aroused. Here are some ways to help women reach orgasm.
1. Have sex in a sexual fantasy
Sexual fantasy can be a memory of a pleasant sexual life in the past, or a fantasy of a sexual act that has never been tried in the past. Strong sexual fantasies can divert some negative sexual consciousness as well as the worry about sex life after cancer treatment.
2. Use sex massager to get more intense stimulation
Hold it by yourself or let your lover caress your external genitals with it. You will be able to guide your lover to the parts that you feel excited and happy and away from those overly sensitive areas or uncomfortable places.
3. Change the position of your thighs and feet during sex
In sex, some women will feet apart thigh muscles relaxed when easy to reach orgasm, while others like to thighs close together.
4. During intercourse or during clitoral stroking. Rhythmic contraction and relaxation of vaginal muscles
Contracting and relaxing the vaginal muscles in rhythm with breathing helps to keep the focus on the sexual activity. Contract your vaginal muscles as you inhale and relax them as you exhale.
1. Ask your lover to gently touch your breasts and external genital area
Ask your lover to join you and practice together to discover the most ideal way to caress you.
If, after weeks or even months of trying, the sex problem is still not resolved, try the suggestions in the “Expert Help” section.
Preventing painful intercourse
Painful intercourse is the most common sexual problem experienced by women. This pain can come from the genital area or from other areas of the body. Even pain from non-sexual genital areas may prevent you from feeling the pleasure of sex. This pain may also be pain in the affected upper extremity after radical breast cancer surgery, or discomfort such as tingling and numbness in the hands and feet after chemotherapy. This pain may also affect your inability to have sex in the position that felt most desirable before surgery.
Pain in non-sexual reproductive areas
If you have this type of pain that does not involve the sexual reproductive area, the following tips may help to reduce the pain.
1. Have sex when you feel the least amount of pain
If you need to use pain medication, take the medication one hour before you plan to have sex again so that the medication can take full effect during intercourse. Try to discover the ideal dose of medication that is both sleep-free and has the ideal pain relief effect.
2. Try to discover the best position for caressing and intercourse, which can reduce the pressure on the discomfort area as much as possible
You can place a pillow under the painful area to limit its excessive movement, which may reduce pain or discomfort. If there is a definite area of pain, adopt a sexual position that does not touch the area, or ask your lover to be careful not to touch the area during sex. You can guide your lover to a position or way that you feel comfortable with.
3, focus on feeling the process of sex and sexual excitement when the pleasure
By shifting your attention, you can sometimes make that discomfort or pain fade.
Pain in the sexual reproductive area
Pain in the genital area is a side effect of certain cancer treatments. Sexual activity may cause pain in the vagina itself and in the tissues surrounding it. Surgery or radiation therapy for some cancers may make the vagina shorter or narrower. Some treatments may reduce the vagina’s natural ability to secrete, leading to painful intercourse due to insufficient lubrication and vaginal dryness during intercourse.
If you have pain in your genital area during sex, please be aware of the following things.
1. Please let your doctor know about this condition. Many common problems can cause pain at the vaginal opening and deep in the vagina. Medication can often help. Please don’t have any hesitation that will prevent you from seeking help from your doctor.
2. Be sure to start intercourse at full sexual arousal. Your vagina can only expand to its deepest and widest point when you are highly sexually aroused and only then will the vaginal walls produce discharge. Women who are entering menopause due to age or treatment may require longer sexual foreplay to achieve full sexual arousal.
3. Use a generous amount of water-based lubricant on and around the external genitalia prior to intercourse. You can also use lubricating suppositories during sexual foreplay
4, let your lover know what kind of caresses and positions can cause pain. Also let him know what kind of caresses and positions do not cause pain. Usually caressing the clitoris and vaginal opening gently does not cause pain and discomfort, especially when these areas are well lubricated.
5. Try using positions where you can control the movement. If the penis causes pain when it enters deeper, you can make it shallower. You can also control the speed.
An often ideal position is for women to kneel on either side of a man’s body, with the upper body upright or leaning forward and supported by hands. The advantage is that the man can easily caress the woman’s clitoris and breasts while the woman can actively control the depth and rhythm of the sexual activity, which can also add more pleasure to the sex life. Another position is the lateral position, which can be either face-to-face or with the man on the woman’s rear side.
Learn how to relax the vaginal muscles using the kEGel exercise
Once a woman feels painful intercourse, she becomes tense during sex. Unconsciously, the muscles at the entrance of the vagina contract, which further aggravates the painful intercourse. Sometimes it may even happen that the penis cannot enter the vagina.
You can learn about your vaginal muscles and learn how to relax it during sex. The method of learning to control your vaginal muscles is called the kEGel exercise (named after its inventor, Dr. Arnold Kegel, an obstetrician and gynecologist) and it can reduce pain during intercourse.
The first step is to discover your vaginal muscles. The muscles at the entrance to the vagina are the same as the muscles that control the stopping of urination. During urination, you try to artificially stop urination for a few seconds and think about how you do it. When you relax the muscle, the urine comes out again. You can do this muscle exercise even when there is no urine to urinate. You don’t need to contract your stomach muscles, thigh muscles and control your breathing, just the muscles around your genitals. To check if you have identified the vaginal muscles, you can insert your middle finger about 5 cm into the vagina and contract the vaginal muscles in a controlled manner and you will feel a gentle compression of your finger by the vaginal walls.
Once you have locked the vaginal muscle, you can then practice how to control it. The most basic kEGel exercise is to contract the vaginal muscles on a count of 3, then relax and repeat this 10 times. 1-2 times a day. People around you won’t be able to notice your muscles moving, so you can do the exercise at any time you wish, such as while reading, watching TV, or surfing the Internet.
This exercise can also increase the pleasure of sex. During sex, if a woman actively contracts and relaxes her vaginal muscles, he will concentrate more on the sexual activity and feel the pleasure of sex more easily. The man will also feel the movement of his vagina. This movement increases the excitement and pleasure of sexual intercourse.
The greatest benefit of the kEGel method is the relaxation of the vaginal muscles as the penis enters and pumps the vagina. When both spouses reach sexual arousal, first the woman acknowledges the appearance of vaginal discharge. The vaginal muscles are actively contracted for a few seconds and then relaxed as much as possible before the penis enters. However, if pain is felt, entry should be stopped until the vaginal muscles relax again.
If there is pain or difficulty during intercourse, you and your lover can try using your fingers to extend the vagina before intercourse. Apply lubricant to your finger and slowly slide it into the vagina. As the fingers go deeper and deeper, repeatedly contract and relax the vaginal muscles with the kEGel exercise. When one finger penetration is no longer painful, switch to two fingers until three fingers have been inserted and penile penetration begins. Keep in mind to use plenty of lubricant and slow penetration.
If you have tried these methods and still have painful intercourse, this may be a time when you need to get help from an obstetrician/gynecologist or sex therapist. Some women need to use vaginal dilators of different diameters to expand their vagina after cancer treatment.
Using a vaginal dilator
Vaginal dilators are tube-shaped and are mostly made of plastic or rubber. They are used to expand the vagina and also to help women learn how to relax their vaginal muscles. There are various styles of vaginal dilators.
Vaginal dilators are often used after pelvic, cervical and vaginal radiation treatments. Vaginal dilators are used several times a week (three times a week is generally recommended) to prevent narrowing of the vagina due to scar tissue formation after radiation therapy. An alternative to the use of vaginal dilators is sexual intercourse several times a week.
Because of the pelvic scar tissue formation for many years after radiation therapy, you should use a vaginal dilator all the time after treatment. For female patients who have had their vagina reconstructed using a transfer flap, a special type of vaginal dilator will need to be used consistently after surgery.
Your doctor may advise you on how to use a vaginal dilator, and here we describe some typical ways to use it.
1. Use a water-based lubricant
2. With more than 15 minutes of intimate time, you can lie on the bed and gently and slowly slide the vaginal dilator into the vagina. If you feel the vagina tightening, keep the dilator inside the vagina and repeatedly contract and relax the vaginal muscles.
3. When you feel that the vaginal muscles are no longer tense, slide the dilator further into the vagina. You may need to repeatedly relax and contract the vaginal muscles several times before the dilator is fully in the vagina.
4. After the dilator has entered the vagina as far as possible, keep it in the vagina for 15 minutes. During this time you can read, watch TV, listen to music or talk on the phone, etc. If the dilator slips out, slowly slide it back into the vagina as deeply as possible.
5. When you have taken out the dilator, wash it off with neutral soap and water to make sure there is no soap residue to prevent it from irritating your vaginal tissues when you use it again.
After surgery a woman is often given a dilator that fits the size of her vagina. But if she needs to use a dilator to overcome painful intercourse or to expand a small vagina, she may need to use a series of dilators of different sizes. At first she can use a dilator as thick as a finger and gradually use a thicker dilator until the vagina is the right size for intercourse.
Try to discover intimate and non-interfering times for dilator practice. Many women find it easier to do this exercise in the morning, while the evening is less suitable due to work and household chores.
Vaginal dilators are most effective in preventing vaginal tightening when used early after radiation therapy and surgery. Do not wait until your vagina is severely narrowed before using a dilator, as it will not work optimally. If you have not had intercourse for several months or rarely have intercourse after treatment, it is very important to use a vaginal dilator to prevent vaginal tightening.
Some women wonder if using a vaginal dilator is the same as masturbating. The answer is “no”. The section on “Overcoming Sexual Confusion” in the “Enjoy Yourself, Enjoy Sex” section may help clarify your understanding of self-stimulation. Vaginal dilators can also be used without the pleasure of masturbation and without strong sexual sensations, just as you would use a menstrual tampon.
A vaginal dilator is not an item like a dildo or vibrator. A dildo is a penis-shaped item that works like a penis to masturbate and stimulate a woman’s genitals to produce sexual pleasure. Although you can move the dilator in and out of the vagina and produce sexual pleasure, it is not a dildo and producing sexual pleasure is not its purpose.
A vibrator can also be an object shaped like a penis. It can produce intense stimulation when it touches the external genitalia and is designed to enhance sexual pleasure and change the eroticism of your sex life. If you have a vibrator that fits the size of your vagina, you can use it instead of a vaginal dilator to extend your vagina.
You can totally make masturbation and vaginal expansion the same thing if it feels comfortable and enjoyable. In any case, when you decide to do vaginal expansion, be sure to follow the method we have outlined and do it with regular frequency. You should feel naturally relaxed about making vaginal expansion a lifelong habit.
Vaginal dilators can be purchased online.
Special conditions for certain cancers
Urostomy, colostomy and ileostomy
A fistula is a surgical procedure that supports the function of the body. A urostomy is a tube that allows urine to pass out of the body through an opening in the bladder and abdominal wall. A colostomy (ileostomy) is the removal of bowel contents through a tube that connects the colon (ileum) to an opening in the abdominal wall.
There are some common sense steps you can take to minimize the impact of these fistulas on your sex life. First make sure that the entire fistula system is in order, especially the external tubes and storage pouch are intact. Check that the seal is complete and empty the bag before sex. This will reduce the possibility of outflow. If outflow occurs, go to the shower immediately and rinse and start over.
A nice storage pouch jacket can make it look less like a medical item. Manufactured jackets in different patterns can be obtained from your medical facility or product provider.
Another option is to use a special small storage pouch during sex, or use an elastic band to hold the emptied, curled storage pouch in place. Another way to prevent the storage bag from falling off is to strap it to your body. You may also find that wearing a T-shirt with the bag underneath is a good option.
To reduce friction on the fistula tract and the storage bag, it is also necessary to choose appropriate sexual positions during sex. These do not require special equipment or techniques, but simply require couples to experiment together to find what works best for them.