Laryngectomy
A laryngectomy leaves the patient without normal speech and requires breathing through a cervical tracheal opening. Because the air you breathe is not filtered and cleaned through the normal nasal passages, a special valve mask is necessary. It serves both to filter the air and to cover the airway secretions that leak out of the trachea. Using a nice scarf, necklace or turtleneck can both hide the valve cover and look better.
During sex, couples may also feel uncomfortable with abnormalities in the breathing area, but on the other hand, as one patient joked, “Now I don’t have to think about breathing when I kiss.
You can also reduce odor by avoiding garlic and other spicy foods or by using cologne and perfume.
Sometimes there are language issues that can affect a couple’s communication. If you learn to use the esophageal vocalization method, communication during sex will not be an important issue. However, this method requires a lot of effort and some of the ability to express subtle feelings can be lost. A voice assist device at the valve may be effective, but there is no way to murmur in your lover’s ear. If you use a hand-operated voice assist device, it can make communication during sex seem awkward and distracting. Nonetheless, you can express so much more by guiding your lover’s hands and other body language.
In fact, there are many situations during sex that do not require voice expression. For new couples, it may be tempting to go into a conversation before sex about preferring that type of touch and those parts that like to be touched.
Treatment of head and neck cancer
Some patients with head and neck cancer undergo surgery that requires the removal of part of the facial bones. Because this surgery can have a significant impact on the face, it may affect the patient’s self-image. Some surgeries on the jaw, palate and tongue can affect speech expression. Current advances in facial replacement devices, tissue grafting and plastic surgery have greatly assisted many of these patients in achieving a more natural facial appearance and speech. Current plastic surgery can create artificial ears and noses out of plastic and make them match the color of the patient’s skin. These methods have been extremely helpful in maintaining the patient’s normal appearance and improving self-evaluation.
Impact on sexuality after amputation
Treatment of certain cancers, mostly in patients with primary bone tumors, may involve amputation of a limb. Patients may need some changes in their sex life after amputation. A patient who has had an upper or lower extremity amputated may have questions about whether or not he or she should be fitted with a prosthesis during sex.
The answer to this is that it varies from person to person. Sometimes a prosthesis may help with movement and stability, but on the other hand, the straps attached to the prosthesis can be a hindrance. For patients who have had an amputation but do not have a prosthesis, maintaining balance during sex may be difficult. A pillow can be used to help maintain balance in this case. Patients who have had an amputation may experience progressive pain or phantom pain during sex (pain that would have been experienced without the amputation), which may affect sexual desire and may spread throughout the body. If this is the case, you should consult with your physician about how to effectively manage this pain.
Feelings of self-receptivity
In modern society, especially in the media, sex is often considered to belong to young and healthy people. People often superficially evaluate sexual attractiveness in terms of external appearance while ignoring factors such as love, humanity and personal qualities. In this context, self-evaluation of sexual attractiveness in patients treated for cancer can be significantly lower.
Patients who have undergone cancer surgery are prone to focus on the body part that has undergone the surgery. For example, a single female patient with a laryngectomy may worry about not being able to find her significant other because she has lost her speech function.
Sometimes, former friends and acquaintances can become emotionally distant from the cancer patient. This is not due to the change in appearance of the cancer patient, but rather due to the change in perception of the patient’s feelings and thoughts. For example, when a husband cannot bear to look at his wife’s fistula bag, this may be a sign of deeper emotions. It may be a sense of discomfort due to his need to take on more housework, or it may be that it makes him think of the sadness of his wife’s death. It could also be a feeling of regret for not taking care of his wife when she needed him most, etc.
Couples cannot give up their sex life, which may require a concerted effort and some time on the part of the couple. But what needs to be kept in mind is that sexual contact between couples is possible in any situation. It is also easy to forget about sexual contact, especially if the couple has been depressed for a long time or has not had sex for a long time. See the chapter “Maintaining your sex life during cancer treatment” for some ways and techniques to help couples through this phase. It is also important to remember that cancer can make your life, including your sex life, chaotic, and you will also need expert help in this case, see the chapter “Expert help”.
Chemotherapy changes to your physical appearance
The most obvious change caused by chemotherapy is hair loss. You may be thinking about hair loss, but not necessarily about other body hair, such as eyebrows, eyelashes, and pubic hair. Weight loss and muscle atrophy may also occur if chemotherapy interferes with eating. On the other hand, however, many women will experience weight gain during and after chemotherapy. Your skin may appear darker, drier and thinner and flaky, or you may experience pale skin and bloodless and wrinkled nails. And you may need to have an infusion tube placed in your chest or upper extremities.
The physical changes caused by chemotherapy can be masked or made less noticeable in a number of ways. If you are just starting chemotherapy you may want to consider getting a wig. If you have long hair you will need to get it cut short, which may feel painful, but it is worth it. Wearing a wig can be hot or uncomfortable, and you may decide to wear it when you leave the hospital or home for a night out. You can also use a headband, hat, etc. Some female patients do not like to use anything.
Whether or not to wear a wig or other cover-up during a couple’s sex life should be up to both of them; there is no question of right or wrong here.
It is more difficult to conceal weight loss and changes in skin and nails. Generally speaking clothes fit is better. Clothes that are too tight and too loose will make people notice the weight change more. High-necked, long-sleeved clothes can conceal infusion tubes, but warm seasons can feel hot, so you can choose some thin textiles. Sometimes the physical changes caused by chemotherapy are so severe that you can’t relax, so you should consult your doctor for professional help as a matter of concern.