For the just concluded event of the Families of Dementia Patients Club, psychotherapist Ms. Ma Hongmei also wrote a sidebar discussing her thoughts on the pain faced by families of dementia patients from the perspective of a psychotherapist. With her permission, I am uploading her article in the hope that more people will pay attention to the issue of dementia, to families with dementia, and to these caregivers! On a fragrant autumn morning with laurel blossoms, more than a dozen patient caregivers attended a family support group organized by Dr. Zhou Jiong. The family members were able to speak freely for two hours about their stress, the struggle of not being understood, and how difficult it is to care for their patients. Several of the newly diagnosed patients’ families were still having a hard time accepting the fact that the elderly had dementia and were also fearful of the future. One of them, an aunt who had taken care of her partner for eleven years, spoke of how, with her careful care, she was now able to organize her hygiene and help with household chores. Everyone was very encouraged and applauded this aunt. We all expressed our desire to learn from this aunt, to learn from her perseverance and courage in caring for her patients. From a psychological professional point of view, there are several findings that I would like to share with you: 1. In addition to the daily burden of caring for the patient, the family members also had a strong fear of being laughed at. The wife of one 70-year-old patient confessed that her husband picked up garbage every day after he became ill. Originally, the old couple lived with their daughter, who couldn’t stand her father’s habits and asked her parents to move out. It can be seen that their own daughters do not understand the condition of the elderly and can not accept it, let alone strangers? There is also an old man who likes to go through other people’s car baskets to find something, and surprisingly, he was twisted to the police station 3 times, and his family had to go to him and apologize to others many times. Caring for a patient with odd and paranoid behavior is already a great challenge for an elderly companion, but if people around you talk and laugh about it, you feel even more inferior. In our support activities, we have found that the patience and responsibility of the family members is invaluable and deserves our respect. Not to mention that the percentage of dementia among the elderly over 80 years old is already as high as 40%. This is such a large group of people and families being painfully tormented. There is an urgent need to educate the general population about dementia and tips on how to care for patients. This will allow families to care for their patients with peace of mind and confidence. 2. About 2 years after the initial diagnosis, it is hard for the family to accept this fact. One aunt, mentioned that her partner and her had a very good relationship for many years, and her partner had a good temper and loved to work. Last year, suddenly one day, her partner had some odd behavior and said out of nowhere that she saw someone at home. That is to say, there have been hallucinations. Later, when he went to the hospital, the doctor said it was dementia combined with psychiatric symptoms. The old man simply could not accept it, how could a good person become like this? As her partner’s words became stranger and stranger, she gradually accepted them. However, she was very frightened about the future development of the disease. This aunt was encouraged by other experienced participants and hearing their experiences gave her confidence in herself. 3. The concept of good friend type of care. A family member mentioned that after dementia the elderly behaved like a small child, should they be coaxed like a child. Dr. Zhou Jiong mentioned the good friend model, which means that good friends will understand each other’s needs, will appreciate and praise each other, and will also try to explore the existing abilities and resources of the elderly. For example, the elderly man with eleven years of medical history, who now tidies up his room every day and goes grocery shopping together, etc. Encourage them to do what they can and praise them for their efforts. Doing these activities on the one hand, the elderly can exercise their abilities, but also let them find a sense of value, so naturally he will be happy. We all know that a happy mood makes the brain work better. 4, the need for family support activities. In the mutual communication and comfort of the elderly, we all received support, learned from the successful experience of others and saw the possible future problems and the final outcome of the patients. Everyone unanimously recognized the tremendous value of the event and hoped to keep it going. We hope that more people will participate in the event so that more families who are struggling alone can receive support and guidance. More resources can be mobilized to promote such activities. By noon, everyone was still reluctant to leave, still holding hands and wishing each other well, leaving contact information so that they could greet each other in the coming days. When I saw the gray-haired couple leaving hand in hand, their reflective backs were deeply engraved in my mind. I was touched by the persistence of the caregivers and by this unfailing commitment. They have walked together through more than half a century of storms, can so keep each other, must have been very loving, very tacit understanding. This is the beauty of humanity. Life is not perfect, but I am always here to accompany you through it together. I wish all the old people a peaceful and happy life in their old age. I look forward to seeing you next time!