Often, we hear our babies say, “How could this happen?” “If I had known, I wouldn’t have come” “I wish I had gone to the park”… …identify his complaints with an awareness, hold a curiosity to see what is happening inside him, and maybe let’s find ways to make his feelings change and stop complaining. Watch out! He’s complaining. Have you ever noticed the characteristics of a child who complains? He may be a whiny child if he exhibits the following If he often says: 1. “Why is this happening?” “How can he do this to me?” …… 2. “If only ……” “How nice it would be if ……. ” 3. “…… is no fun at all.” 4. “It’s all your fault!” “It’s all your fault!” What does all of this mean that something happened? 1.Not accepting the fact that it has happened and holding on to what has happened. 2.Focusing on the future, focusing on the ego’s sense of dissatisfaction, longing for something he doesn’t have, or something that is not possible in the future or hasn’t happened yet. 3, he can only see the negative side of things, always troubled by pain, aggression, hurt and other emotions. 4.He keeps complaining, blaming and picking on others, but actually wants to change them. In the face of your child’s complaints, you should think about 1. Are his complaints justified? When you hear your child’s complaints, you need to think differently, put yourself in your child’s shoes and think about whether the complaints are justified. But this does not mean that you complain along with your child, you should always remember that you are the guide of your child. 2. Do you also complain a lot? Children’s complaints are not always justified, sometimes they are a bad habit, and this bad habit may be influenced by the parents. Every word and deed of parents invariably affects their children. If you like to complain, your child may like to complain as well. At this time, you should first reflect on your past practices, to show your attitude, to show that complaining is not meaningful to the solution of the matter itself, and that people who love to complain are not welcome. Then in ordinary life, always pay attention to their words and actions, reduce complaints and lead by example. Don’t worry, try their methods Scene replay 1 As soon as mom enters home from work, Lily keeps talking after her mom’s butt. Mom doesn’t understand how Lily has so many dissatisfactions: today the teacher didn’t let her stand first; at lunch she spoke too loudly and the teacher criticized her, unfairly, because it was Qianqian who spoke loudly first, but the teacher pretended not to hear her; when she came back from kindergarten, her grandmother didn’t let her watch cartoons; Kiki’s mother didn’t let Kiki come to Lily’s house to play… …Each time, mommy listened patiently and then asked Lily: Mommy knows everything, how do you want mommy to help you? At this point Lily stopped talking and turned around to play by herself. Her magic weapon – listening, understanding the child’s feelings When the mother patiently listened to Lily’s complaints, without her help, Lily’s mood got better, indicating that the child complained is a kind of emotional venting, eager to get others to understand. At this point, no matter what the child complains about or why the child complains, just sit down and listen carefully. Even if the child is angry when he or she says it or you feel it’s wrong, don’t comfort or refute, just express in a timely manner that you are listening carefully, “Oh, that’s right” “That makes you angry, doesn’t it? ” When complaining, the child is understood and relieved in his heart, he will go and do what he wants to do. Scene replay 2 Mom and Dad had long agreed with Jiajia that they would go to the zoo on Sunday. Jia Jia was looking forward to it. But it had been raining since Saturday. Jia Jia kept asking her mom, “Will it be sunny tomorrow?” On Sunday morning, Jia Jia opened her eyes and asked her mother, “Mom, has it stopped raining? Can I go play today?” Mom said, “It’s still raining, so I can’t go to the zoo today.” Jia Jia said sullenly, “I hate it, I hate the rain.” Mom said, “It’s not raining much, and although we can’t go to the zoo, let’s think about whether there’s anything fun to do on a rainy day.” Jia Jia thought about it and said, “I want to wear a raincoat and rain boots to tread water.” “Okay, let’s get up, eat, and then go treading water.” Although we didn’t go to the zoo, Jia Jia also had a good time. Her treasure – encouraging children to see the positive side of things Children who love to complain tend to focus only on the negative side of things, just as Jia Jia hates the rain and thinks it’s not fun when she thinks it can’t go to the zoo. But with his mother’s guidance, he found out that there is actually a lot of fun in rainy days. When your child complains, guide your child to accept what has happened, because what has happened will not change because of complaining, and complaining will only make you feel more miserable. Encourage your child to think more optimistically, look at the positive side of things, and actively seek solutions. Scene replay 3 At night before going to bed, Jia Jia said to her mother, “Mom, I think it’s fun on rainy days, you can tread water and find snails and earthworms, how come I didn’t find them before?” Mom laughed and said, “Look, you started to know it was raining and felt angry, but now you think it’s fun and happy. If we think about something more in other ways, we will feel differently, right?” Jia Jia seemed to understand her mother’s words. What made Jia Jia complain and get angry was not the rain, but the way she thought it was preventing her from going to the zoo. But once she discovered the fun that the rain brought, her thoughts changed and she found the rain fun and her feelings changed from angry and complaining to happy. It is not the thing itself that makes the child feel hard and angry, but the child’s view of things. When a child changes his or her mind, the feelings will change with it. Mothers should always encourage their children to take responsibility for their thoughts and emotions and be the master of their own thoughts and emotions. Scene Recap 4 Bebe comes home from school and complains angrily to her mother, “Kiki and Lele are playing house without inviting me to play.” Mom said, “You wanted to join the game, did you tell them?” “No, I watched from the sidelines, and I wanted them to invite me.” Her magic trick – encouraging children to stop complaining and go for what they want Children who love to complain always like to blame and pick on others, hoping to change them and make them conform to their own ideas. For example, Bebe, who wants to participate in the children’s games, does not take the initiative to fight, but just complains that others do not invite her. If you want to get what you want, you should actively strive for it and seek solutions to the problem, rather than passively hoping that the environment or others will make changes to conform to your needs.