Don’t wait until your child grows up to be an adult and then blame them for lack of independence. Little do we know that a child’s independence depends entirely on what his parents have been doing to him since he was a child. One: inspire him to solve their own difficulties When you are about to go out, the child suddenly remembered that the teacher wants him to bring red things to kindergarten, and red things although home, but need to spend time to find, and time for children and parents are very urgent, you will immediately help the child to find? Response: If you can inspire your child, for example, “Your red hat is also red, is it okay? Or think of something else that is also red?” Tip: When the child has mastered this method, you can usually increase the difficulty, so that he can find a solution to the problem in a limited amount of time. For example, in 1 minute to list all the ways to organize toys and so on, these fun exercises can make the child in a problem will not be panic, overwhelmed, but quickly focus and find a way. Secondly, it is better to learn to help yourself when your child fails to complete the homework assigned by the teacher, and when he asks you for help, in order not to let your child be blamed by the teacher, do you help him to make up an excuse to cope with it? Response: You may want to say to your child: we should make a rule, no excuses, you have to be responsible for their own behavior. Next, you may want to look for the root cause of your child’s inability to complete homework, whether it is a lack of organization, scheduling skills, or something else. Stop “wiping his butt” at the root. Tip: If you do what you are told, you will create a situation where your child is waiting for you to solve his problems. You can usually give him a calendar to write down his activities or use post-it notes to keep track of his schedule. Younger children can use pictures as reminders. 3: Teach your child to weigh the pros and cons You have been planning a family outing for a long time on Sunday, but then your child receives a generous invitation from a classmate to go to his birthday party. The child is in a difficult situation and wants his parents to make a decision for him. Response: You should help him think: “What if you go to your classmate’s birthday party? And what will your classmates think if you don’t go to someone else’s birthday party? Tell him that there are pros and cons to every decision. Tip: Never make the decision for him. What you should do is to help him think about the consequences of each decision he makes and learn to weigh the pros and cons for himself. If your child can regularly practice making decisions, he or she will be able to handle the dilemma when they grow up. 4: Get up from failure If your child is confidently participating in tryouts for a team he is very interested in, but is eliminated and not accepted, how will you help him when he sadly says to you: I vow never to participate in this activity again? Response: You may want to tell him that you understand very well how he feels now, but there is no need to give up on this sport if you lose, no one is perfect, sometimes there will always be mistakes, you can look for what did not do better to cause this failure, as long as you find a way to do a good job, there is still a chance. Tip: Let your child properly deal with failure is an important part of helping them become self-sufficient. Usually you can tell him about the small mistakes you made before and how you corrected them. Finally, children should be encouraged to speak up about their shortcomings in front of their peers and learn to cheer themselves up. Five: Negotiating with peers When your child argues with peers over a channel on TV, are you eager to get involved and rule on the issue for the unhappy them? Response: You can remind them that anger is not a solution to any problem, only to quiet themselves down and each to find a solution to the problem. Or suggest that they can use old-fashioned but proven methods such as tossing a coin to decide the outcome. Tip: There is no better way to solve a problem than to let the child negotiate the solution on his or her own. The parent’s responsibility is simply to prompt them to watch their behavior when negotiating. Guide them to come up with the best solution when they are at odds with each other.