Now that our son is going to school with his backpack, we, as parents, have taken on more responsibilities, and our hearts are not easy. In the morning, we help him wake up, organize his school bag, read with him at night, check his homework and help him with his homework. However, the child does not appreciate the parents’ “diligence”, and still does what he wants, and his performance does not improve much, but he is tired and exhausted, and the child’s performance is not proportional to his own labor. I think the root cause of this is the parents themselves. Because parents are too hard-working, but the child’s inertia, because too much attention to his learning, but he has become no sense of responsibility and self-awareness, learning goals are not clear, think it is for the adults to learn, dependence on adults. In the long run, it is difficult to develop good study and life habits, and good habits are the key to ensuring excellent performance, is the prerequisite for paying for future success, and is a guarantee of developing a sound, independent personality. Looking at so many parents for the “little emperor”, “little princess” who bowed and scraped, I did the opposite. Diligence and laziness are a pair of contradictions that are mutually exclusive and complementary. Adults are diligent, children are lazy; adults are “lazy”, children are diligent. Do not believe you see, how I do: experience one, lazy pick-up and drop-off – walk to school alone! Although many children to and from school are parents pick up and drop off, although his father just started school to send him a few times, but I never pick up and drop off, because my son from home to school at most only a kilometer away, just across a road, there are not many cars coming and going. After giving him a safety talk, I asked him to walk on his own, with the fancy name of “practicing lightness”. One night, he didn’t go to bed on time and got up late the next day, asking me to send him on my bike, but I deliberately said that I was late for work and couldn’t send him. He was so angry that he stomped his feet while running to school and was punished for being late by sweeping the floor. I knew he was afraid of being punished by the teacher, so I had to let him be late once to learn a lesson and correct his late sleeping. Sure enough, he went to bed at 8:30 and went to bed on time to make sure he got up early the next day. If he had been sent to bed that time, I’m afraid it would have been difficult to form good habits. Tips for teaching your child: Let your child walk to school by himself, not only to exercise, but also to develop the good habit of not relying on others. Lesson 2: Don’t bother with chaperones – do your own homework independently! I only remind my son when it’s time to do his homework and report back to me when he’s done. When it comes to checking homework, I always ask him to check it himself, and I only sign it. He said with great displeasure, “Everyone else’s mom checks it, why are you so lazy?” I reasoned with him, “It’s not that mommy is lazy, think about it, if I checked it for you, would you still check it? If you make a mistake in the exam, who will check it for you? If you make small mistakes in normal times, you will make big mistakes in the exam.” And tell him that learning is his own business, when he can’t do the problem I told him to open his mind, really can’t do tell him where to find information. For example, if he didn’t know the meaning of a certain vocabulary word, he came to ask me in order to save time, and I told him to look up the dictionary by himself, so he had to look it up stroke by stroke in order to finish his homework. Afterwards, I was thinking about the reason why he didn’t like to look up the dictionary, and it turned out that he was not skilled enough to look up the radicals. So I thought of a way to play a dictionary competition with him, listing the words and seeing who could look them up quickly. After playing a few times, his dictionary speed increased greatly and he no longer considered it a problem. Now, he even takes the initiative to help his classmates look up the dictionary. Teaching Tips: Don’t be too diligent in guiding your child’s learning, but learn to find out what your child can do and what he can let go of to help him think independently, and what he can’t do and needs help. Experience three, lazy nagging – do more and say less to cultivate self-awareness! Some parents are nagging their children like sparrows all day long to urge them to study. I do not know, repeat the words of the child to hear more ears will be calloused, but he does not take it seriously. On the weekend, he played games for a long time and didn’t do his homework, so I asked, “What time are you going to play?” He looked at the clock and said, “Ten more minutes.” “Good, keep your word.” Ten minutes passed, I returned to see that he was still playing, I held back my anger and said calmly on my face, “Don’t you usually say that you have to keep your word?” He was embarrassed, smiled apologetically, and immediately turned off the computer. Before that, because I had instilled in him the sense of being a man of his word, so this time he could accept it happily. Imagine if I had come to a fury, a nagging: “Stop playing, do your homework, how can you get good grades if you keep playing like this? I’m afraid he’s not convinced and will do his homework “in Cao’s camp and in his heart”. In the future, when he plays games, I want him to set his own time, and when the time is up, he must immediately turn off his computer. At first, he had to be supervised by me, but later I secretly observed him and found that he was more conscious and stopped playing when the time was up. It is said that playing games is not good, but as long as you grasp it well, you can turn it into a disadvantage. He learned to control himself, restrain his desires, and develop control, patience, and willpower. And these are the important learning qualities. Teach your son: diligent education does not have to be effective, depending on what is diligent in. If you are diligent in nagging and reasoning, but rather ineffective; if you are diligent in finding ways and countermeasures, and can be effectively implemented is worth learning. Experience four, lazy hands – not to do to foster independence in doing things! I don’t help with anything that is within my son’s reach. For example, when his room is messy, I remind him that it’s time to tidy up, but I’m happy to watch him tidy up. Children in science and technology classes often have to go home to prepare a variety of materials, I told him to prepare their own; to buy what to give him money to let him go to the store to buy, in order to exercise and people’s ability to deal with; to collect specimens, I took him to the field, watch him do it. Just after school, the teacher asked to wrap the book covers on the new books, he could not wrap them, but I told him to learn to wrap them with me. After the first cover was wrapped (very lamely, of course), I let go and told him to wrap it himself. He did not like the trouble, showing impatience, I ignored it, but only in the side of the “hands and feet” to guide some, see me as a gentleman “mouth not hands”, he had to be patient package. If I help him finish wrapping the book for the sake of speed, he will never be able to wrap a second, better book cover. The most important thing to remember is that if you do something for your child, or even if you do it for your child, your child will be dependent and passive, and there is no way to develop responsibility. Let your child jump and pick the fruit. Because of all my “laziness”, I have contributed to his good study and life habits. In learning, he has changed the problem of being careless and forgetful, and when he encounters difficulties, he can think independently and seek solutions; in life, he is independent and can take care of everything. It can be seen that parents should let go of the time to let go, the time to be ruthless, the time to be lazy may as well be lazy, the worry, concern silently in the heart. Remove the wings of care, let him fly on his own, the only way, pheasant swallow can refine a pair of strong wings, to form good study habits and the ability to live independently.