01. Before the age of 3, a child needs a stable person to build attachments with, not to develop adaptability. Every mother, when she first becomes a mother, is anxious and even terrified. Not only out of love for the child, but also out of ignorance of our human development. It is a pressure to be responsible for another life before you know what you are doing. Some mothers see in this darkness the light of growth and the direction they are going. But there are also mothers who begin to retreat and begin to give up their rights and responsibilities as mothers. When I meet many mothers who let the elderly take the lead or aunts take care of their children, they push back for a variety of reasons. It’s just the economy, family conflicts, their own health, etc. I respect the choice of these mothers and understand the difficulties involved. It just makes me sad when I face these children. Three years are as important as gold. Buddhists say cause and effect, “mortals are afraid of the fruit, bodhisattvas are afraid of the cause”, when the child reaches a certain age, you want to change that fruit, it is very, very difficult, you need to plant more good cause to produce good fruit. Before the age of 3, a child arrives from another world, he is a stranger to everything around him, including his own body, which he does not know how to use. He first has to bind a person as his mirror, and in this mirror he sees the world and sees himself. If the bonding relationship with the child is not done at this time, the child will grow up to be an adult and look for the person to be bonded in the relationship. Usually, the child will choose the mother as that object. This is why many mothers feel that they have lost themselves and are tied to their children until they are 3 years old. But please be confident that this process is necessary and short-lived for your child. Enjoy this time, give it enough and your child will be able to separate from you well. You and he together, with love with delight with infinite curiosity to get along, this binding will be a warm years of your life worth remembering. 02, everything you do before the age of 3, can not immediately see the effect of his slow release in the whole life. Some people reading the previous article may have to say: “It’s not that serious, many children in our community are the elderly 24 hours a day with the nanny with, all sunny and healthy. The time to walk when the time to jump jump. 3 years old and no memory, and do not learn something, anyway, is to grow body, it does not matter.” Well, I can’t convince you with the answer you can see with your naked eyes, as professional teachers we can feel the state of that child with our aura, but it is hard to say. Education is about teaching to behave first, then to do. But the former is much longer than the latter, and in this impatient and eager era, we can’t wait, and we don’t know exactly how to call people. So we turn to the more easily seen good and bad things to do, to teach children to learn some skills and show some talent. Our education has produced too many skill experts, too many machines that strive for glory, and too few people who seek out their mission and use their inner strength to fulfill it deep into their souls and into their marrow. before the age of 3, before the age of 6, is such a time when the results cannot be seen quickly, but it is extremely important to develop inner strength and resilient self. That primary caregiver has to have a very strong philosophy and understanding of education within him or her to be able to keep it. 03. Before the age of 3, the child needs to be able to feel the body senses, not think. Before the age of 3, children are pictorial learners and should use their developmental energy in action rather than thinking. This one rule is very, very important to the current impatient Chinese society of education. This thinking is not what we usually understand as learning knowledge, but in a broader sense, it includes theoretical reasoning, abstract vocabulary that the child cannot understand through his or her own experience. For example, “there are additives in this stuff, it will be bad for your health if you eat it”, what is an additive? What is an additive and how is it bad? These are things that the child cannot understand, and his first reaction after hearing this is to taste it. What to do? Adults decide by action, this is the sense of authority in the family, the mother does not buy, the child naturally can not eat. The education of preaching, the education of using violence to control children, the education of giving children unlimited freedom for fear of trouble are all the same, it is lazy education, a kind of energy catharsis that adults have no way. I see too many children, in front of new things to lose the courage to try, the mouth is a set of reasoning “this is dangerous” “get to the water to catch a cold” “baby good children do not jump “…… face this, I can only sigh deeply. In the premise of ensuring that the child will not suffer great harm, before the age of 3 to let the child free to explore is too important. 04, before the age of 3, children need your reliable love, not too much material. Walking down the street, I see children dressed more and more beautifully, and the toys in their hands are becoming more and more trendy. But the voice I often hear in my ears is still “I have this at home, you don’t have it” “I’ll ask my mom to buy one, huh”. Human desire is the most inflated and rising, and the quicker it is satisfied, the easier it is to lose satisfaction, and there is no end to the external material satisfaction. What we see happening is that the more fully and naturally a child gets his inner love, the less he needs external objects. A gift from the mother can make up for the guilt she feels inside, but it cannot replace the missing companionship and motherly love. Quite the contrary, homeschooling that is able to control the material things, live with intention and care for the child with care, nourishes the child’s inner self the most. Reduce the material giving and increase the spiritual communication. 05, before the age of 3, children are relying on their own strong absorption and imitation ability to learn, we have nowhere to hide. Chinese proverb says that children before 3 years old have no memory, which makes many people think that before 3 years old, as long as the child is brought up physically, the rest of the child does not understand. If this is true, nature’s theory of evolution is ridiculous, consuming three years of the essence of time for nothing, as higher than the animals, human beings, is it really so imbecile? In fact, these three years for human beings, God has given the most amazing treasure is superb sensory organs, which makes us have the ability to absorb and imitate. Have you noticed that children around two years old learn to speak not immediately at that time, but learn it by talking to themselves and repeatedly absorbing and imitating every night. Likewise, children understand and learn other things in the same way. What is even more amazing is that when you are tempted to take a break and push your child away, your child clings to you even more, as if he reads your mind and doesn’t want to leave. I always advise full-time moms not to hire an aunt, our bodies are getting lazy and this inactivity affects our children and makes them too self-centered. If moms have nothing to do, their children will go “Mom! Mom!” to fill the boredom inside you. When a mother is really busy and tells her child what I’m doing, he or she can wait a while or come and do it with me, and the child will often agree. This is because the child’s powerful sense organs reach inside of us, the person we become, not the things we do. If you don’t like something about the person in your home with your child, then don’t let him take your child, because sooner or later the child will have that too. If you don’t like a certain trait in yourself, then try to practice improvement based on acceptance of yourself, otherwise your child cannot avoid such a cycle. 06. Before the age of 3, the child has the opportunity to become everything possible, all you need to do is grow yourself. All education will be self-education, we can’t change others unless he wants to change within himself, we can only provide moderate help and wait patiently. But what we can decide is ourselves, are we willing to change? Are we willing to give our time and energy? Where are we going in our own lives? Our growth is the cornerstone under the child’s feet, and the child will see further with this stone.