Read: Does your child often envy other children, always feel that their lives are not as good as others, think that other children’s toys are better than their own; sometimes you can do things independently, but prefer not to do it yourself, want to rely on the surrounding people; too obedient to the words of mom and dad, but in the growth of personality, will lack the ability to enter the independent. Are you aware of these problems? These small problems can seriously affect children’s interpersonal communication, lightly let the child lack of integration into the collective meaning and courage, serious or lead to the child’s psychological quality perverse. Ultimately, the key to the problem is three words: not confident! So, where does a child’s self-confidence come from? 1, parents’ unconditional love makes the child confident What is unconditional love? When children come into the world, American parents will say to their children: baby, whether you are healthy or sick, smart or stupid, obedient or mischievous, beautiful or ugly, good or poor academic performance, mommy and daddy will always love you and raise you until you become an independent person. This is unconditional love. The mere fact that I love you because you are my child has nothing to do with what kind of a child you are. With the love of his parents behind him, the child is fearless no matter what he encounters outside: “My parents love me and are sure of me.” He is very secure in his heart, knowing that he has the inexhaustible power to face the whole world. If parents’ love is conditional: Mom and Dad will be satisfied only if you study well, and they will be happy only if you win a prize in an Olympiad, the child will doubt himself in his heart, lose confidence in himself, and learn to put on snobbish glasses to face love and care. If parents are unrealistic and repeatedly put forward high standards for their children, children will become nervous, anxious, suffering from loss in the long run. 2, respect makes the child confident To make the child confident, first parents and society must respect him. Foreign schools have always emphasized “encouragement education” and “respect education”, which is the hope that students build a positive self-awareness, not because of comparison with other people’s strengths and inferiority, and realize that everyone is a unique individual, have their own shining point. Maybe he is not good at math, but he is good at people and has leadership skills; maybe he is not good at composition, but he is good at drawing and has artistic skills; maybe he is not good at expression, but he is good at sports. Teachers and parents need to help their children find their strengths and create opportunities for their strengths to flourish, thus establishing their confidence. There is a child in the classroom who is obviously brain-dead, but the teacher has been encouraging, ten questions to do a right, the teacher immediately let him go to the front of that a problem to show everyone, we applauded together to encourage him to continue to work hard, without the slightest irony sarcasm. This kind of environment can grow up in a child without confidence? When a child fails a test, his parents scold him, and when he breaks discipline, the teacher tells him to stand in front of the classroom to be criticized by everyone. American adults respect children as adults: parents enter their children’s rooms to knock; move or use the child’s things should get his permission; any decisions involving children should first discuss with the children; do not feel free to look through their children’s diaries or other private …… this spirit of respect is lacking in our society. 3, appreciation makes children confident Children’s mental development is still immature, often based on the evaluation of others, especially parents and teachers to their own position. If he is often praised, his heart is full of pride and confidence, feeling that he is excellent and special. On the contrary, if a child usually hears reprimands, criticism, reproach and even sarcasm, a small fault is caught by parents endlessly criticized, he will feel that he is a failure, can not do anything well, he will deny his own ability, inferiority complex, and then lose enthusiasm for learning and life. The field day in elementary school is a competition for every child. Basketball, soccer, baseball, and other sports teams, as well as a pipe band and string orchestra, are open to anyone who wants to participate, and are not selected based on individual level. Whether it was a performance or a competition, the audience was always applauding to encourage the children. From the first grade on, class officers were rotated, and everyone was eligible to speak at the podium, so they could speak any way they wanted. The teacher would praise the child for his special point of view and courage when he spoke in a rambling, stumbling manner. The teacher always tries to pick out the child’s strengths and highlights and praise them, while ignoring the child’s weaknesses. Over time, the child’s good points will become better and better, and the strengths will grow longer and longer. The child gets confidence because of his or her strengths. 4, trust makes the child more confident Parents often intentionally or unintentionally deny the child’s feelings, saying words that do not trust the child. For example, if a child says it’s too hot and doesn’t want to wear a coat, we will rebuke the child: What’s hot? Mom is not hot at all. If the child wants to help carry the plate, the mother immediately says, “You can’t carry it steadily, look at the plate you’ve knocked.” If a child complains that homework is difficult, we say, “How come you can’t do it but others can? You must not be listening well in class.” When a child wants to try something new, some parents say, “Come on, I don’t know what you can do, don’t make a fool of yourself.” By repeatedly denying their children’s ideas when they are young, parents kill their children’s self-confidence and independence little by little. So, as a parent, trust your child’s feelings and judgment. If your child says it is hot and refuses to wear a coat, then feel your child’s little hands to see if they are hot. You can hold the coat for him and wait until he needs it before putting it on. If he finds the course too difficult, analyze with him what is difficult, find the crux, and help him unravel it. If he wants to try anything, give him the opportunity to try it, give him full trust and the chance to learn. Conclusion: A person with a full and confident personality will naturally value the quality of his life and make it dynamic and interesting because he believes he deserves to enjoy it all. A large group of people with low self-esteem, on the other hand, may grow up to live in a state of sadness all their lives, with a mind that lacks the power to counteract their environment and is particularly sensitive to negative factors. Self-confidence, a person’s true inner confidence, is cultivated from an early age, and the most important way to cultivate it is for parents to set an example by first having enough confidence in their own children: regardless of whether or not their children have won awards, regardless of their test scores, regardless of which major they study or which university they go to, or even whether or not they go to college, as long as their children have good moral character and know what they are If the child has good moral character, knows what he is doing now and what he wants to do in the future, and pursues his ideal in a down-to-earth manner, then he will develop a sky of his own in the future world.