Many parents often complain, “We don’t spoil our child. Whenever he makes a mistake, we criticize him and tell him he must correct it, but he just doesn’t hear us.” Or, “She doesn’t say a word, but she makes the same mistake the next time. Why is that? Xiao Ming is active and can’t be bothered for a while, usually his mom and dad are tired after a day of work and don’t want to bother with more words, just let him toss and turn, as long as nothing happens. Xiao Ming has recently become obsessed with a thing called yo-yo, like it a lot, really quickly become the sword does not leave the hand, the song does not leave the mouth, when you see Xiao Ming, can always see his hands playing yo-yo. Also do not say, he played the yo-yo technology really grows quite fast, can play several kinds of patterns! This day, Xiaoming again in the living room to practice on what is called the action, is to throw the ball up, and then catch the rope, practice several times did not succeed, so the yo-yo is constantly he threw up, drop, throw up, drop …… mother saw, casually said a; “do not play, back to hit something. Back to hit something again.” Xiao Ming did not hear the same, still playing there. Dad also said after a while: “Do not play ah, how dangerous which!” “Play a little longer,” Xiao Ming said while throwing the ball. Mom and dad didn’t bother to pay attention to him anymore. Mom and dad heard the sound and rushed over, mom also stepped on the glass stubble, ouch, to the other room to see, the foot pulled a gash, is bleeding! Dad was furious, pulled Xiaoming to the bedroom bed crackling beat. “I told you not to play, you just do not listen, this time it is good, your mother is bleeding! This lamp is expensive! 100 yo-yo is not enough. How can you be so disobedient!” Xiao Ming was beaten and cried out, mouth repeatedly said: “I do not play anymore.” Mom was distressed on the side, pulling Dad “Forget it, forget it, he did not mean to. How much is a lamp worth, don’t break your son.” The mother blocked, Xiaoming admitted his fault, a not so small fiasco just passed, but not a few days later, Xiaoming again at home to practice on the yo-yo …… In this case, Mom and Dad did discipline Xiaoming, and even Dad also beat him, but why did not play any role? It’s because Dad didn’t beat him hard enough, or because Xiaoming’s family is very rich and doesn’t care about the few dollars for the chandelier? In fact, these are not the reason why Xiaoming repeatedly fails to reform. Mom and dad only see the surface phenomenon, think smashing a chandelier is not a big deal, but they ignore the fact that Xiao Ming did not take their criticism into account, this situation continues, Xiao Ming will only become more and more difficult to discipline, in the end, parents will be very aggrieved to complain: “Alas – my child is too skinny, we beat also beat In the end, parents will be very aggrieved to complain: “Alas – my child is too naughty, we beat also beat, scold also scolded just does not work, we are really no way!” 1, firmly let the child understand what not to do To clearly tell the child what not to do, not even once. When expressing their opinions, parents should be resolute in tone, without the slightest room for negotiation. As in the case of Ming’s parents, they did criticize him at first for playing with the yo-yo in the living room, but not in a firm manner, which would give the child who was making a mistake a hint that it was no big deal. Don’t nag endlessly, but use simple, clear language that immediately stops the child’s behavior. In the process of criticizing your child, you should discuss the matter and be clear about the subject, and remember not to pull a lot of strings so that your child does not understand what he did wrong. For example, when Xiao Ming’s father was punishing him, he was still saying things like “this lamp is very expensive…”, which might be sending the wrong message to Xiao Ming: the lamp is very expensive and will be beaten if it is broken, but it is not a problem if it is a cheap thing that is broken. Parents should remember that the purpose of criticism is to keep the child from repeating the same behavior next time. If the subject is not clear and the attitude is not firm, the child is bound to “fail to remember” the next time because the parent has not properly told the child what to remember. Note: Do not repeat the same command over and over again. You should stop your child’s misbehavior from the very beginning, and if it doesn’t work the first time, the more times you repeat it, the less serious the command will be. Tone of voice is strong, attitude is gentle. A mild attitude means that parents should not criticize their children with impulsiveness and resentment, so that parents are not easily rationalized and may confuse their children. Toughness of tone refers to the tone of criticism, clean and straightforward. For example, Ming’s parents should say to Ming, “You can’t play yo-yo at home, stop it right now.” The effect would have been much better. If, after clearly indicating the parent’s attitude, the child still does not converge, then it may be because the parent’s previous vague attitude left the impression that the child does not care, then the parent should stop using language to show their firm attitude, as in the case, if after the parent has clearly told Xiao Ming can not play, Xiao Ming if still continue to play, the father should directly confiscate the ball, Xiao Ming if If Ming cries, you can return the ball to him and repeat your words to emphasize: “Do not play yo-yo at home, if you want to play, go out.” 2, with eyes and body language to remind children Young children will be very poor self-control, even if they know that after doing a certain thing, mom and dad will be upset, still can not control themselves to do, at this time the parents can not be like treating older children, strong to reprimand the child, because the child is too small, will be scared by the tone of the parents, forget what they are doing, just think that the parents are angry, do not love themselves. With small children, the approach should be gentle, after the first notification that the child cannot do something. It is also important to help the child build a good habit. When the child is repeating this mistake next time, the parent can stop him with a look, such as calling the child over and looking at him, without saying anything, and the child will think: Why did mommy and daddy do that? What did I just do to make them unhappy? After he thinks of the reason himself, he naturally won’t do it again. You can also use hand gestures to remind your child at the beginning of each wrong behavior, waving your hand to him or shaking your head, not wanting him to make too much noise, you can put your index finger up in front of your mouth, these are very effective body language, children will generally give up trying the wrong behavior that mom and dad used to remind them of after seeing their parents make such a move. Note: Point out the child’s mistake on the spot. For young children, it is not effective if the mistakes are not pointed out to them on the spot. If you wait until the evening to talk about what happened in the morning, your child won’t remember what he or she did at that time. But it is best not to criticize your child while he or she is eating, as this may make him or her feel aversion to eating and affect physical development. If the child does not do well at mealtime, use the body language mentioned above to correct it. Children also have self-esteem. Sometimes parents think that their children are too young to understand anything, but this is not true. It is the nature of everyone to like to be affirmed by others, no matter how small your child is, do not forget this, so criticize your child not in front of others, especially to avoid guests and children. Criticizing your child in front of guests and children can greatly damage your child’s self-esteem and often cause your child to resist. You can call your child to the front alone, calmly but solemnly point out where he needs to improve. 3, according to the characteristics of the child to choose the appropriate way of conversation Do not have to wait until the child’s mistakes occurred to correct. It is better to analyze the things that happen to others around you to prevent your child’s mistakes than to criticize your child after he or she has done something wrong. Children have different personalities, which requires parents to choose the appropriate method of conversation according to the characteristics of their children. The first method can directly talk to the child about people or things that everyone is familiar with, to show the child their attitude, this method is characterized by clear direction and rapid results. However, it is only suitable for children who are more extroverted. For more introverted children you can tell a short story, say an idiom, quote an example, talk about a few lines of poetry, or talk about movies, novels, etc., to arouse the child’s interest in the conversation, and then follow the trend to the topic of the conversation. This kind of discussion can be parents and children talk about, but also between classmates and friends, the effect is very good. Note This method is good, but it requires a good parent-child relationship, and usually create a good communication base. Some parents usually have little communication with their children’s thoughts, and after a problem occurs, they reprimand the child severely, and over time, the emotional distance gradually widened, or when the child does not obey their own heart, a big card, so that the child has a rebellious mentality, the emotional relationship is in trouble. In this case to talk is not very effective. For this reason, talk with your child, first of all, to create a harmonious atmosphere, tell a joke, tell something pleasant, close the emotional distance, the effect will be much better Before talking, parents should have a good idea, to know what issues you want to talk to your child, in the conversation, around the theme, more encourage the child to express their own views. This will help parents to understand the child’s mind and discuss with him in a targeted manner, which will make the child gain something.