Borderline personality disorder (BPD) belongs to the category of personality disorders, which manifests abnormal psychology in adolescence and becomes more prominent in adulthood. The main manifestations of BPD are emotional instability, interpersonal disorders, highly altered self-image, impulsive behavior, and the following manifestations, which are often mild or severe: suicide, self-harm, drug abuse, substance abuse, battering, Internet addiction, multiple sexual partners, etc. It is relatively difficult to treat. However, after developing BPD, one should not just be pessimistic and disappointed, but can gradually get better through positive psychological counseling, medication and other medical help. Some studies have shown that certain symptoms of BPD, such as impulsivity, diminish with age. If patients themselves have an open attitude, take the initiative to understand the clinical features of the disease, the possible psychological factors of its onset, and carry out positive self-conditioning, together with professional psychological help, they will get rid of the disease as soon as possible. BPD patients often mistake their thoughts for those of others, such as a woman who calls her boyfriend and the other person does not answer. She will habitually think: too little attention to me to even answer my phone; maybe he has a new love and has abandoned me. In fact, all the explanations about why her boyfriend didn’t answer the phone came from her own speculation, but she took this speculation as her boyfriend’s real thoughts, which triggered her strong anger or impulsive behavior. For example, one woman was afraid that her husband would abandon her, so she asked him to stay with her 24 hours a day, and when she didn’t see him for a while, she became very anxious to know where he went and who he was with, and kept a close eye on him. This woman still thinks at this point that it is her husband who does not like her, but cannot understand that it is her own firm restriction on her husband that pushes him away. People with BPD often have difficulty tolerating rejection, neglect, and demands from others. When satisfied and valued, they will idealize the other person as unparalleled, but if they are rejected or ignored once, they will easily send the other person from heaven to hell and devalue them. They can’t see each other as a whole as both good and bad, and they can’t feel themselves as a whole. BPD patients tend to put their inner desires and emotions into action, for example, when they feel that the other party does not care about them or abandon them, they will go crazy and find the other party regardless of everything, either by fighting and abusing them. Either to fight and abuse some, or to hurt themselves to threaten each other not to leave them. What BPD patients need to improve is the ability to accommodate these negative desires and emotions, and to think about what they can do to win the other person’s acceptance of them, so that they do not damage the existing relationship. It is easy for people with BPD to feel worthless, especially in situations where they are sensitive to being “ignored” or “abandoned”. The so-called “uselessness” and “unlovability” actually come from inappropriate treatment in the early parenting environment, rather than from their true selves. The dominant emotional experiences of people with BPD are fear, anger, emptiness, insecurity, and pleasure. people with BPD not only experience these negative emotions, but are also aware that they are in the midst of these emotions and need to be actively guided. One needs to have the ability to actively imagine, for example, for the other person’s inability to respond to their text messages or answer the phone in a timely manner, in addition to thinking of the other person ignoring them, one must also think of other positive possibilities, such as being in a meeting, not having the phone with them, etc. This can be turned into words to communicate emotionally with the other person and to be able to put oneself in the other person’s situation and emotions. Actively cultivate a pleasant and safe emotional experience and try to understand each other’s words and actions from the perspective of the other person’s concern and love for them. IV. The ability to form attachments Within each of us, there is an internalized object that comes from the parenting style and special experiences of the early years of life. It has been shown that people with BPD often experience too much frustration in their early years, including mental and physical abuse, sexual abuse, too much parental control, denial, blame, rejection and less warm emotional care. Actively repair the inner object, so as to gradually build up a good, positive, positive and colorful inner object, so as to provide sufficient care, comfort and encouragement to oneself, and to allow inner peace and responsibility for oneself. Establishing a good attachment relationship with others, not being overly dependent or overly avoidant in the relationship, is a relationship of equality and mutual respect. It is a relationship of equality and mutual respect. It is a relationship of intimacy and distance, where both parties have some space and autonomy. Not to be completely submissive and lose oneself for the sake of the other person, nor to ask the other person to completely give up him/herself. The ability to consider the interests of others in the relationship and strive for a win-win or multi-win situation. The greatest challenge for people with BPD is to face the breakup of a relationship, and their anger and sadness can be extreme. When separated from the object to which they are attached as a last resort, try to endure the pain and express enough grief to strive over time to withdraw emotional bets from the lost object and develop new attachments. The above four abilities are abilities that we should all have, it is just that people with BPD appear to be weaker. Since they are abilities, there are strong and weak, and through training and time, they will gradually improve as the individual grows psychologically, which is the process of gradual psychological maturity.