The 3-year-old Niu Niu has been in kindergarten for more than two months, the teacher often “complained” to her mother that Niu Niu likes to push children in kindergarten, hitting and biting, but Niu Niu’s mother wondered why Niu Niu, who never hits at home, has become a “little bully” in kindergarten. “? In fact, there is a reason why children do not have aggressive behavior at home, but this happens in toddlers. At home, the child’s needs are generally met and no one will clash with him because adults will always give in to him. In kindergarten, on the other hand, there are more little friends and more conflicts. Two people go to sit in the same chair, or several people go to wash their hands at the same time in a water cage …… These are the triggers of conflicts. At this time, the child will instinctively reach out to defend their interests. So, what should we do? 1, more opportunities for children to get along with small partners Children and small partners together, not only to experience the fun when playing, more able to learn a lot of things. And these can not be replaced by adults. Sometimes, parents worry that their children will be bullied with their buddies, or that they will not let their children get along with their buddies for fear of trouble, which is inappropriate and inadvertently deprives their children of the right to grow up. When your child is with his or her buddies, parents don’t need to intervene too much and let the child discover the problem and find the answer on his or her own. 2, parents set an example and set a good example As the saying goes: parents are the first teachers of their children. Parents’ words and actions directly affect their children’s every move. As parents, when raising children, try not to foul-mouthed words. When a child makes a mistake, try to restrain your emotions and take a reasoned approach to solve it. Never when you are happy, overindulge your child; when you are unhappy, and punching and kicking your child, try to set a good example for your child, which can prevent the occurrence of aggressive behavior. 3, stop the child and adult play, playtime aggressive behavior Sometimes, children in play with adults, play will intentionally, unintentionally aggressive behavior. For example, in order to get some toys or food, when the adult refused to send an attack. Or purely playful aggressive behavior, such as happily kicking adults with small feet, pounding with small hands, etc.. Adults often do not care about these behaviors and even act very happy because in their view, it is not “aggressive behavior. In this way, the adult inadvertently reinforces the child’s aggressive behavior, when the child encounters problems will naturally reach out. 4, teach children to solve the problem Children often appear aggressive behavior is a problem, if we can teach them to solve the problem, you can avoid the occurrence of this behavior. First parents put themselves in the child’s shoes and help the child express his or her feelings. “Don’t worry, mommy will help you”. This way the child will not take it out on the child. Sometimes children hit out of self-defense, out of instinct. When a child is in a bad mood or fails in various skills, he or she will choose his or her own way to vent their frustrations. This is when parents need to provide gentle, positive reassurance to prevent the child from becoming irritable and to help build confidence. When a child grabs a toy, it is only out of instinctive self-defense or physiological traits, and once the benefits from this behavior are regained and the toy is obtained, it will be associated with attacking someone else to get the toy. At this point, parents should tell their children that this is not right, and tell them the correct approach, such as teaching them to discuss with others to take turns playing with toys; to seek help from teachers when they are rejected by small partners, etc. 5, keep children away from aggressive or violent cartoons or books For aggressive children, parents should not only reason with their children, but also try to keep them away from aggressive cartoons or books. Because children have a strong ability to imitate, aggressive or violent scenes are easy for children to imitate. Therefore, parents should be good gatekeepers for their children in their daily lives. Do not let your child or less let your child watch aggressive cartoons, do not buy your child books with violent behavior, even if it is a righteous attack and violence, let your child less contact, because the child is young, the concept of right and wrong is not obvious. 6, teach children to learn to be humble Children are the hope of their parents. In life, parents always prefer to eat less and wear less themselves to try to satisfy their children. This is not known to make the child indifferent to modesty. They think that they have to put themselves first in everything and never think of others. Therefore, parents should let their children learn to share with others and know how to be humble. 7, pay attention to the child’s expression of appropriate speech and behavior and respond Sometimes parents ignore the child’s non-aggressive signals, until the child’s aggressive behavior child’s demands are noted and met, which inadvertently reinforces the child’s aggressive behavior. Therefore, pay attention to the child’s expression of inappropriate speech and behavior and make a positive response. 8, to develop the child’s self-control For children with aggressive behavior, parents in addition to give him a clear reason, but also pay attention to the development of the child’s ability to self-control. For example, when the child is playing well with other children, we should promptly affirm the child, praise the child, and when appropriate, even give the child a certain reward. In order to positively reinforce the child’s good behavior, over time, the child’s aggressive behavior will be improved. Parents should be careful when dealing with their children’s aggressive behavior: do not reprimand the baby for hitting, because the baby does not realize that their behavior is wrong, a sudden reprimand will only make the child feel baffled; do not hit the child because the child hit, the child will not understand the parents’ intentions, only feel hurt, which will make the child no longer trust the parents. Parents must not encourage their children to retaliate against children, if the “victim” in turn retaliate, the end result will only be more and more victims. When parents pay attention to the above points, the child’s aggressive behavior will be significantly reduced.