It is the parenting pattern of many Chinese parents that the mother goes to work after giving birth and then leaves the child to the care of the elderly in the family, but are the elderly really competent to educate the child? Some of their educational concepts and practices are often misleading to children and even lead them astray. The following types of elderly people are not suitable to help you bring up your children, please be careful mom and dad! 1, superstitious ideas heavy There is a grandmother, said their grandson’s fate lack of gold, immediately took off their gold ring stuffed into the child’s mouth, three months of the child swallowed, almost lost his life; there is a grandmother, the new grandson, happy. In accordance with the “custom” to use the money to give the child a bath. As a result, the child’s skin is severely allergic, with big red bumps all over, crying more than one. In this case, the grandmother did not feel anything wrong. 2, forcing children to eat The old idea is that it is best for children to be fat and white. The elderly also always want the child to eat very hug, so the habit of feeding constantly, and even chase after feeding. Some children do not want to eat, the elderly will be coerced, coaxed with snacks, threatened with language “do not eat I let the police arrest you”, with cartoons to lure …… In fact, the more forced, the more the child rejects eating, and also cause the child to eat snacks when eating, watching TV The bad habits. 3, chasing children to give food in the kindergarten, in the playground, when the child is playing particularly happy, the elderly take advantage of his inattention mouth stuffed with a fruit. In the opinion of the elderly: only at this time, the child will not easily resist, stuff a, the child will eat a. Eat one, even one. Eat one, even one. Is the old man doing the right thing? In fact, this small action is very easy to destroy the development of the child’s attention. When some children go to school, why do they have poor attention span? In fact, with his childhood little by little this “disturbed” related. 4, give the child to wear a lot of old people are afraid of cold, so they are also accustomed to give the child to wear a lot. The child is pure Yang, he is not afraid of the cold, unless he was born with a weak constitution. As a result, when the child exercises, it is easy to sweat, sweat cold, the child a hot and cold, in turn, more likely to get sick. 5, encourage the child to lie daughter’s mouth with a sweet smell, the mother asked: you eat sugar? She thought about it and said: eaten. That’s when grandpa rushed out and said: you traitor, I told you not to tell your mother, you still told your mother. The mother knew that she couldn’t start a conflict with the old man, so she suppressed her emotions and said to the child: “You must be honest with your mother, eating is eating, and your mother is not forbidding you to eat. The next day, the child ate candy again, the mother asked again, the daughter puzzled for half a day, thought about it and said: I ate or not eat it? She didn’t know how he should answer. On the one hand, the boy was afraid that his grandfather would call him a traitor, and on the other hand, he was afraid that his mother would worry. You see, children are born diplomats, so many parents find that their children can read people’s minds. They will see what their grandparents allow, and if mom and dad don’t allow it, they don’t go to them and turn to their grandparents. 6, limit the child to explore Older people most often tell their children, run slowly, do not fall. After one and a half years old, in fact, often grandparents are slightly inattentive, the child is gone in a flash. So the elderly are afraid: I simply hold him well. What happens when you hold your child a lot? Once the child can walk, but do not want to walk, always want to let adults hold. The child will also form a sense of not afraid to take risks, there are dangers ahead, or stay by the grandmother is good. This is easy to raise timid children. 7, the elderly hearing loss Some elderly hearing loss, always speak too loudly to the child, and watching TV is used to turn on the TV sound is relatively large. This long-term past, will have damage to the child’s hearing. 8, no restrictions to the child to eat snacks child a cry, what sugar, soda, snacks are given to the child to eat, love the child to the point of unrestrained. The elderly also do not know what food additives, nor do they know that snacks are hazardous to children’s health, not to mention additives can damage the child’s brain. 9, “alternative” child to do things Mom asked: baby, where did you go to play today ah. Then Grandma said we went to a small park today. The mother did not say anything, and then asked: Which children did you see today? Grandma said: We saw whoever. Another example, the child likes to help the mother before eating, the elderly family is very worried about the rice bowl will fall, usually before the child up, the elderly took over. These behaviors, in fact, reduce the child’s own learning opportunities, on the child’s language development and the development of motor coordination seal ability are affected. 10, to help children dress So many children three or four years old, do not know how to tie their own shoelaces, can not wear clothes. Old people say that children are small, adults should help, or that children do not wear the right, out will make people laugh at adults did not do their duty. But in fact, children have a process to learn how to wear clothes and shoes, and when they make more mistakes, they will slowly correct themselves. Always help the child to wear, the child does not have the opportunity to make mistakes, and no opportunity to correct, naturally will not be. 11, the elderly lack of vitality Nowadays, in big cities, many families have elderly people who are relatively old. Because young people in big cities, marriage and childbirth are increasingly delayed, and less time to spend with children after work. These lack of vitality of the elderly with children, they have less physical contact with children, easy to cause the lack of security for children. Skin-to-skin contact between mother and child is the basis for infants to establish a sense of security. These children will not grow up to take the initiative to communicate with others, and do not know how to communicate with people, they tend to be introverted, or even depressed. 12, the child fell to hold the table responsible for the child hit the table fell, the elderly rushed to pick up the wailing child, “hit it, the table is not good, hit the baby, hit it ……” This is child-rearing or child harm? Such teaching, so that children do not distinguish between right and wrong, after growing up, often put their own mistakes and faults on the objective environment or others, such children, not good at self-summary and correction, will also eventually become self-deception. 13, deceive the child “you will eat this bowl of rice, grandma will take you to buy candy later”, “you go to sleep, grandpa will take you to the park tomorrow” …… results, the child happily finished eating and The child is also self-respecting, being cheated more, will develop the habit of suspicion, and gradually, also learn to cheat others.