Author / Evening Love A few days ago, my friend Xiaojia sent me a message, saying she wanted to talk to me about her feelings, she was very confused, at that time I was busy communicating with the editor about the new book promotion, sorry to tell her there was no time. But Xiaojia was very persistent and said she would wait for me and let her know when I was done. Then, I was so busy that it was a few days later when I thought about it. Like a heart-to-heart, just when I was going to send her a message, she asked me on WeChat if I was done. I sighed and said what’s wrong with you! In fact, I am not unfamiliar with Xiaojia’s emotional story, usually on WeChat she has told me a lot off and on. Xiaojia just joined the company, fell in love with a sales manager of another company, the two of them a relationship, and soon established a relationship. Since falling in love, Xiaojia’s entire life is devoted to this relationship. She is from Anhui province, her family is ordinary, but she is the only child of her family, and grew up under the care of her parents, and she is not good at many things. But in order to take care of her boyfriend, she completely changed a person. Usually people who are too lazy to wash their own clothes, two or three days to get their boyfriend’s change of clothes. She also bought a lot of recipes and tried to learn cooking skills, Xiaojia was completely immersed in her own sweetness, we communicated more at that time, she would report to me every day what she had done for her boyfriend yesterday. The theme of her visit to me was basically “He’s about to have a birthday, what do you think I should get him?” “It’s our first anniversary next week, what do you think I should surprise him with?” Maybe I’m sensible by nature, and I soon sensed something was wrong in her constant daily ramblings. I asked Xiaojia what he does for you when you do so much for him every day. Xiaojia said he was very concerned about me ah, every morning will call me to say good morning, noon also called me to ask me what I had eaten, in the evening will care about my work is busy, tired, do you want to work late at night. Every night before going to bed, he would say “I love you!” to me. The man is a very delicate and considerate man, reminding her to wear more clothes when the weather is cold, reminding her to remember to apply sunscreen when the weather is hot, advising her to rest when she is tired from work, and giving her countless care every day. I continued to ask, “What did he do for you? I’m not sure how many men can do this, but many men don’t call their girlfriends a day, and I often hear girls in our office complain about their boyfriends. I resist the urge to roll my eyes, if then there is the paragraph of the teacher Jin Xing: “When my daughter grows up, I will tell her! If a man is concerned about your crowded bus, complaining that you do not eat on time, always remind you to drink less to hurt the body, rainy days to tell you to go home from work to pay attention to safety, sick when sending funny text messages to coax you … Please ignore him! And then with the one who can drive you, sick with you, take you to dinner, pick you up after work, and tell you, “Don’t do this shitty job! Come home with me! With the one who can drive you, stay with you when you’re sick, take you to dinner, pick you up from work, and say, “Don’t do your stupid job! We’re all past the age of hearing love in our ears!” I’ll be sure to dump it on Xiaojia so she can take a good look. Xiaojia was happily basking in each other’s sweet words, feeling that she had met true love and full of expectation and confidence in the future. In all fairness, I never felt that her boyfriend loved her much, and I didn’t even feel any love, but a woman in love is not sensible, and I politely reminded her that she should look at people with her heart, not with her ears, and Xiaojia couldn’t see me saying her boyfriend was bad and defended him strongly, but I was not a bitter character, and once I saw her reaction, I gave up. And I don’t want to be chased by her every day to ask you if he loves me very much. As far as I am concerned, if a man will only move his lips and no actual action, I definitely do not believe he loves me. It’s not that women are now realistic, but many women finally understand the logic in between: willing to do a lot of things for you, no matter how well or poorly he does, he definitely cares about you in his heart and really wants to be good to you; every day only know how to move the lips, even if the words are beautiful, if there is no actual action to match, but a game in the guise of love. After three years of being happy with her boyfriend’s sweet words, Xiaojia had to start facing a real problem: she was about to run into three. For Xiaojia, the absence of actual action does not prevent her from believing that there is true love between the two, but marriage is her weakness, her concept is very traditional, think that women should marry themselves before the age of thirty, otherwise they have to face too much social pressure. So, she began to ask her boyfriend when to get married with her, he stammered, avoiding answering, sweet words doubled out. The actual “baby, don’t worry, we will definitely be together in this life, can meet you is my three life lucky ah!” “Honey don’t be in such a hurry, marriage is a lifetime event, how can it be so hasty, we communicate slowly!” “I swear, I will marry you in this life, you are the only woman I want to marry ah!” In the other party’s reassurance and vows, Xiaojia and he walked for two more years, only these two years are not as happy as the first three years. In the five years, Xiaojia has more or less matured, not like the first few words can be sent off. The woman in love is silly, but also has a natural intuition, Xiaojia feel that the other party is slowly distancing themselves, no longer as before several phone calls to her every day. Whenever she asked, the other party would tell her categorically: “Fool, don’t think too much, how can I ignore you, I’m very busy with work lately, I must do my job well, we have a better future ah, you have to understand me to support me!” When she was helpless and confused, Xiaojia thought of me. She asked me do you think he loves me? Just as she asked me five years ago. I sighed and said no matter how I answer you will not be satisfied, if I say love, you will ask me that why he delayed marrying you, if I say no, you will give many examples to disprove my point of view, so the question to ask yourself. But Xiaojia insisted on my answer, I said the answer is obvious, you ask yourself over the years, in addition to sweet words, what else he has done for you, you will understand everything. There are often many girls who tell me without regret how wonderful their love is set, how touching, but now they want to break up, love is too fragile. The fact is, it is only your love, the other party never entered the role, you moved yourself in your own love, but do not know that it is only your own imaginary love, and The real love has nothing to do with it. How many women cry when they fall out of love, they can’t forget their past feelings and keep asking why he doesn’t cherish our relationship at all? That is because, you think you have met true love, in fact, not at all, you feel completely different about the relationship. If you really love someone deeply, which will easily leave? Because you have never been in his heart, so he left, so dashing. What exists between you is not love, but an indefinable need. My dear, you must understand: if a man can bear to watch you suffer and indifferent, know that you want to marry him and delay, look at your heartbreak and still I do what I want, clear what you want but no action, then, he must not love you! Your so-called good memories, pure love, but you alone to create the illusion of love, and true love, there are clouds and clouds of difference. Author: Evening love writer, screenwriter, founder of Yun Yi Xuan jade, author of “and with deep love together white head” “luxury wedding” and other books, the new book “to be a just right woman: not to climb, not to settle” is selling. Microblog @eveninglove’s nest, personal public platform: pour our best to live (id: wanqingdepingtai)