According to American early childhood education expert Lillian Cates research found that many children in the process of learning, for some reason will gradually produce a sense of incompetence to learn, and therefore lose self-confidence, giving others the impression that these children what remedial classes are on, but the more they learn, the worse. In fact, there is a close relationship between your child’s deteriorating academic performance and the way your parents teach. One day, the child’s teacher received a phone call, the caller was the anxious voice of the parents: “My child, who is in the fifth grade, always fails to achieve, his mother and I can be anxious ah! We can’t sleep every night, and our hair is turning white! Tell me, what is going on here? Why can’t my child’s grades go up?” In fact, many parents are very nervous because they are afraid of “losing”, because they are nervous, their brain strings are tense all day long, and their minds and eyes are constantly focused on their children, constantly looking for various weaknesses and shortcomings in their children that may lead to “losing”. And because of the fear and high tension, their judgment and thinking nerves will easily bias and even blind obedience, every detail of the child’s learning to intervene, thus casting a shadow on our educational wisdom, so that family education into a blind or even dark zone. Completely get rid of eight wrong education style 1, nagging style Many children say that once they hear their parents nagging him, they are annoyed. Parents may want to think about it, if the other side of the husband and wife always nagging, then you are not annoyed? As a husband nagging, the wife is annoyed, as a wife nagging, the husband is annoyed. Therefore, the nagging style is one of the stupid ways to teach at home. Some nagging styles are also nagging styles. Always nagging the child, “Why don’t you work hard? How are you doing? Always there to count. Counting is more pernicious than nagging because it is often condemnatory in nature. The child’s motivation to learn is often suppressed. 3, reprimanded, scolded reprimanded scolding may make the child rebellious, the result will not only make the child’s grades improve, but also make the child more averse to school, or even truant. Parents because of a few test failures, repeatedly seize the child’s shortcomings do not release, that the child’s problems as long as the harsh point reprimand, you can change the results. The result is that the child listened to the fear, not only to close the ears, but also to close the door to the room. 4, the standard type stipulate that the child’s next test average score must reach how many points, ranking to enter the top, this is called the standard type. This is also a way of teaching that hurts your child’s motivation. The first to the child to develop a standard, so that the child’s psychological tension, and children are often the more worried about the more can not reach the standard. 5, fatigue type school to engage in a sea of questions, parents and then increase the study time, study topics, this is fatigue type education. The child’s energy is limited, overload learning will bring harm to the child’s physical and mental health, and ultimately can only be fast, which leads to children more and more poor learning. 6, the package, accompanied by the type for the child’s learning, parents are worried about him, asking long questions, endless tutoring, all day and night with the child learning. This child’s learning autonomy is gone, on the other hand, it is easy for the child to misunderstand that learning is not just his personal business, dependence. 7, prodding type “you should do your homework, you should review”, such prodding many mothers like to repeatedly stress to the child, if the child is tired of listening, they may say: I would have liked to learn, you rush me instead of wanting to learn. The child’s rebelliousness is also getting bigger and bigger. 8, sad face type Old worry for the child, so also called worry type. The emotions of parents have a great impact on children. When the child returns home, if faced with a face that counts itself out, a face that reprimands, a face that scolds, a face that is sad, the child may fundamentally lose the joy of learning in the home. How to let go of the hand to help children improve their performance 1, awaken the child’s sense of independent learning Parents want their children to actively seek knowledge, rather than learning under supervision, but many children lack the sense of independent learning, only under the supervision of teachers and parents passive learning, which requires parents to give up supervision, awaken their sense of independent learning. No successful person in the world is nurtured by coercion, so children should be taught to learn without relying on others, without control and interference from others, to judge for themselves and to learn independently. Parents should pay attention to developing their children’s initiative, self-confidence, self-discipline and sense of responsibility, which are necessary for the ability to learn independently. So learn how to let your child know how to independently control their own learning time and independently complete the four complete learning steps of pre-study, listening, homework, and review. 2, with appreciation to promote children’s active learning children learn to learn independently, not only to enable children to embark on the road to success, but also to reduce the burden of parents, which is the best of both worlds. It is extremely important for children to experience success in the process of learning. When a child has a successful experience, he or she will internalize the pleasure of seeking it as his or her own habit, so parents should create opportunities to give their children encouragement and affirmation, so that they can experience the joy of independent learning. For example, you can give your child praise and encouragement in time after he/she learns independently, and appreciate every bit of progress. After your child finishes his homework and completes his prep and review, you can give positive affirmation, and your child will learn more actively with the appreciation of parents. The actual fact is that every child has a huge potential. The guidance and inspiration of parents can make children consciously learn and explore creatively, and actively develop their own potential. If you want to really stimulate your child’s strong desire to learn, you must return the initiative of learning to your child, first of all, you must believe that your child is capable of learning well, receiving this psychological implication from your parents, your child will be encouraged. In the belief of the child, but also to establish a democratic and equal parent-child relationship with the child, in daily life to often encourage the child, so that they have a positive evaluation of their own, to promote the establishment of their self-confidence, the child is confident in themselves, learning will be full of energy. 4, don’t let the child breed dependence Some parents sit next to their children, see the child has no answer to tell him, this approach is extremely wrong, this will make the child develop a bad habit of not thinking independently. In the future, when he encounters a slightly difficult topic, will not think to sit there waiting for the next person to give him help. This is actually the creation of a dependency mentality. 5, give children the freedom to take the initiative to learn Many parents, out of love for their children, will do a lot of things for their children, such as interest classes, cramming classes, without consulting the child’s opinion, invariably the child’s sense of autonomy is erased, learning will also lack the sense of autonomy, do not dare to face the difficulties and setbacks in learning, but choose to escape or seek help from others. The talents needed by society in the future are first and foremost independent people, so parents should be bold enough to let go of their children and encourage them to actively decide on their own lives and studies, leaving things related to their studies and lives to their own choice and gradually cultivating their children’s sense of independence. A sense of independence is a necessary quality for independent learning, and children who have this quality will be more helpful in their future studies. In short, parents play an important role in their children’s learning, parents “regardless” is not just let the child let free, on the contrary, abandon all things “tube”, purposeful, effective “tube “The only way for parents to educate themselves is scientifically. Let children learn to suffer in learning, know how to persevere, help children to establish learning goals, develop their independent learning ability, master the necessary learning skills, so that children can learn more independently with the help of parents, this is the mysterious secret of successful education in the hearts of many parents!