1. Interrupting a conversation Why it should not be ignored: Your child may be eager to tell you something or ask you certain questions, but if he is allowed to interrupt your conversation, it will not help teach your child to think of others, let alone let him learn how to pass the time on his own when you are busy. The result will be a child who believes he has the right to get attention and can’t stand any frustration. Stop: The next time you have to talk on the phone or to a friend, tell your child he needs to be quiet and not disturb you. Set up an activity for him or let him play with a toy he doesn’t normally play with. If he pesters you while you’re talking, point to a chair and ask him to sit there quietly and wait patiently until you’re done talking. Afterwards, tell him that interfering with others will not get him what he wants. 2. Aggressive behavior Why not ignore: You may not always discipline your child when he or she has a small conflict with a little one, but you shouldn’t ignore those little aggressive behaviors, such as pushing down a little brother or pinching a child. Dr. Michelle, a parenting consultant, believes that if you ignore it, the bad behavior will build up by the time your child is about 8 years old. Letting go sends the message that it’s acceptable to hurt others. Stopping it: Respond to aggressive behavior head-on. Pull your child aside and tell him, “That will hurt your sister. What would you do if he did that to you?” Be sure to tell him that any action that hurts others is not okay. Before you go out to play next time, remind him not to be rude and overbearing and help him practice what to say when he’s angry. You can also give him a little punishment and not let him go out to play if he does it again. 3, pretend not to hear you Why not ignore: clean up toys, get your own water, when you remind your child to do something he does not like to do, once, twice, three times, or even four times, he still acts as if he did not hear, then you can not ignore it. Because the message this sends is that it doesn’t matter if you ignore the adult’s instructions. Reminding your child over and over again is tantamount to training him that he can wait for a cue without paying attention to your first instruction, and if you indulge your child to continue this behavior, your child is likely to become uncaring and extremely controlling. Stop it: Don’t talk to your child from the other side of the house, walk up to her and tell him what to do. Let him look at you while you talk and answer, “Yes, Mommy.” Gently touching her shoulder, calling her name, and turning off the TV will help get her attention. If he doesn’t listen, tell him what the consequences will be. When five-year-old Jack began to “selectively listen,” his parents decided to take action. They told the child that if he had to be repeatedly asked to do something, such as come to dinner or take a bath, he would only be able to watch one cartoon that day (usually he could watch two) or he would lose an outing that week. If they have to remind him twice, he won’t be allowed to watch one cartoon, or he won’t be allowed to go out for two days. Moms should try to do not give in, otherwise he will continue this bad habit. The doctor thinks it’s not a good idea to let your child do things without following the rules. If you’re having fun watching a two-year-old get his own cookies off the counter, wait and see what happens when he turns eight and runs off to a friend’s house without saying hello. Stopping methods: Establish a few family disciplines and talk about it often with your child, for example, telling him or her, “You have to ask if you can have candy because that’s the rule.” If your child turns on the TV outside of the allotted time, tell him to turn it off. And stating the rule loud and clear will help keep it in mind. When four-year-old Sandy grabbed some paintbrushes without permission and painted one of her arms yellow, her mom told her she couldn’t help paint the garage sale billboard this afternoon. Although she cried, it was the only way to keep her from repeating the same trick. 5. Making small talk Why it can’t be ignored: You may think your child won’t roll their eyes with you or talk arrogantly until they reach puberty, but arrogant behavior usually starts when children imitate older children to test their parents’ reactions. Some parents think it’s just a phase and ignore it, but if you don’t address it head-on, you’ll find that your child will be friendless and unable to get along with teachers and other adults by the time he or she reaches third grade. Stop it: Make your child aware of his own behavior. For example, tell him, “You’re rolling your eyes like that because you don’t like what I’m saying.” This is not to make your child feel embarrassed, but to make him understand that he may lose the friendship and affection of his friends by doing so. If he insists on not changing, you can ignore him and walk away. You can say something like, “I can’t hear you if you talk to me like that. When you are ready to speak politely, I will listen.” 6. Exaggerating Why it should not be ignored: Perhaps a child who can’t fold a quilt yet says he made his bed, or a child who hasn’t even been on a plane yet tells a peer he’s been to Disney – these boasts may seem inconsequential, but be sure to be alert to your child’s dishonesty. According to the doctor, “If the child learns that lying can easily glorify him, it can prevent him from doing things he doesn’t like to do and get him out of trouble, lying becomes natural.” Stopping method: When your child tells a little lie, sit beside him and tell him straight up. “Sure it’s fun to go to Disney, and maybe we’ll go someday, but right now it’s not, and you shouldn’t tell your little sister that you’ve been.” Tell him that if he always lies, people will not believe him. Find out what his motives are for lying and don’t let his little lies keep getting through. As an example, if he hasn’t brushed his teeth yet, say he has, and tell him to go back and brush again. When 5-year-old Dash started to lie, her mother told her the story of ‘The Wolf Comes’. A lying child has no one to believe and no one to help her when the wolf really comes. Telling stories can help children see things correctly, and children will slowly learn to be very frank. When you don’t believe some of his words, he will defend himself very firmly. 7. Nose picking Why it should not be ignored: Although it is disgusting to watch your child’s fingers swim from his nose to his mouth, eating snot does not make your child sick. But nose-picking is a major route to infection. Stopping it: Distraction is usually very effective. Give him a book or a toy, anything to occupy his hands. Explain to your child that picking his nose can spread germs. Carry a tissue with you and hand it to him as soon as he reaches for his nose. Keeping nostrils moist will reduce itching. Putting a humidifier in his bedroom in winter will help prevent his nose from drying out at night. 8. Cough and sneeze without covering up Why not to ignore: Cold and flu viruses or other more serious diseases like pneumonia and meningitis are spread through these particles. Stopping method: Be a good example. If you can hold your own nose or mouth when you cough or sneeze, your child is likely to follow your example. Don’t be afraid to nag and remind your child often. To prevent viral infections, teach your child to sneeze into their elbows, not their hands. 9. Picking at scabs Why not to ignore: Dirty fingers can bring infectious bacteria to a wound. Repeatedly uncovered wounds can also scar. Stop it: Put antiviral cream on the wound, then wrap it with a Band-Aid to prevent your little hand from touching it. Let him choose a favorite cartoon band-aid, he will be reluctant to remove it. 10. Forget to wash your hands Why not to ignore: Children who often don’t wash their hands may be exposed to some terrible germs, such as parasites, excretory germs, and even hepatitis A. Stopping methods: Frequent and gentle prompts. Remind her to wash her hands before eating, after going out to play, and, more importantly, after using the bathroom. You might want to keep some antiseptic wipes in your closet, or in your bag.