Many parents are reluctant to buy things for their children, to spend money for their children while repeatedly emphasizing how hard-won money, to cherish things can not be wasted, etc., the child thus harvested is a sense of scarcity and guilt, and the relationship with the money heavy and difficult. Regarding the education of children, many parents are often confused: how to educate children? How to make the child’s behavior good? And so on. In traditional education, we say in front of our children, “every grain is hard”, “don’t spend money recklessly”, “we have to work hard to raise a family”…. …In fact, these do not make the children richer in heart and better in character, nor do they make them live a happy life. The best way to make children’s behavior good is to make them happy. The quality of life is not determined by material things, but by the heart. A friend is rich and well-cultivated, as are her siblings. Her childhood, material poverty, but his mother always maintains the beauty of life, from time to time to bring back some beautiful gadgets to the children, never to the children to pass the hard life, hard-won money, to know how to cherish such a heavy sense of education, the children have always been feeling the flow of inner abundance, and then later on to the community by virtue of their own ability, each rich and have the pursuit of the spirit. 2, the inner sense of deprivation, often more than three generations to change See a few of these families out of the people, born in China’s poorest era, the parents are penniless, but even if half a year can only eat a meal of meat, but also willing to call on the children and friends to share with the joy of the children’s spiritual temperament, such as aristocrats in general. Later, when the political environment improved, they were always the first to find a way out. Three generations out of the aristocracy refers not to three generations of wealth to cultivate aristocrats, but the inner sense of scarcity, often more than three generations to transform. Therefore, it is not the wealth but the parents’ attitude toward money that directly determines whether their children will have an abundant future. Many parents are reluctant to buy things for their children, and while spending money for their children, they repeatedly emphasize how hard money is hard to come by, and how things should be treasured and not wasted, and so on, and what their children gain from this is a sense of scarcity and a sense of guilt, and the relationship with money is heavy and difficult. Psychoanalytic psychology says that the childhood parent-child relationship is internalized into the child’s internal relationship pattern, which determines the child’s lifelong character destiny. In layman’s terms, parents are like the programmers of their children. If the parents subconsciously write into their children’s subconscious a sense of scarcity and heaviness in their childhood, how can the children have an abundant flow in the future? With a sense of scarcity to the community, subconscious command of their own, but also easy to experience scarcity and heavy everywhere. For example, they don’t believe they are worthy of a good job, they always look for laborious and unprofitable work, they can’t enjoy themselves easily even when they earn money, they feel guilty when they spend money on themselves, and they tend to hoard things excessively, which results in greater waste. For example, once parents always say don’t waste skin care products, after earning their own money can’t help but buy a lot of skin care products, but can’t afford to use them, and finally they are expired and wasted. If the parents often conveyed: material comparison is shameful, than the top than the bottom can be. Then the child’s future income is likely to be average, making money on the “do not think of progress”, but at the same time materialistic desire is difficult to fill, do not know what they need what do not need, blindly hoarding. A mother observed that the toys or handmade materials bought for her daughter, if the education said to cherish, do not break or waste, basically the toys or materials will be idle by her daughter, time is either broken or can not be found, completely contrary to the original intention of buying them, resulting in greater waste. Another mom said that she bought paints and brushes for her son and taught her son not to waste the paints, but in the end, her son only used the brushes to draw, not the paints. Why is this? The child is very sensitive to the energy transmitted by the parent; the parent transmits constraint and heaviness, and the child can feel it as soon as he touches the thing, so he would rather not touch it. The child doesn’t use its mind to deceive itself, no matter how right the adult thinks the reasoning is, the child feels directly on an energetic level whether the adult is transmitting positive or negative energy. If the parents continue to impose a variety of negative energy for the right reasons, the child will eventually become as adults, live a heavy and depressing, constraints in the so-called “correct life reasoning. 3, whether the child’s desire to meet some people ask, is not the child’s desire to meet 100%? Whether your child’s desires are met or not depends on your ability and willingness. If you have the ability and willingness to satisfy, you can easily and happily satisfy as much as you like. If you can’t or won’t, just say so: I can’t afford to satisfy you at the moment, or I just can’t afford to give up the money. Parents don’t have to be perfect, but at least they have to be honest. Honest parents, even if the child does not get a lot of fulfillment, will know that it is the parents’ problem, not that he or she does not deserve it, and will still be able to work to earn a rich material life in the future. There was a child who asked for one thing, and when the mother told all kinds of reasons for not buying it to refuse the child, the child asked directly, “Mom, why can’t you see that I’m happy?” Children often see the essence simply and transparently. Parents who are not aware of their own inner sense of scarcity will unconsciously pass it on to their children. They themselves didn’t get the joyful smoothness they got as a child, so they also have to compete with their children and make them screw up everywhere. Educators say, “The best way to make children of good character is to make them pleasant. And most adults in this society are surprisingly stingy when it comes to making their children pleasant. Just as they take away, either rudely or kindly, the things that make us happy, they always add the remark that they are doing it for your own good. And this is really a persuasive defense, which will in the end make us consent to destroy ourselves also.” Don’t judge your child’s desires, give a bunch of reasons why your child shouldn’t make the request, or even kid yourself that it’s for your child’s own good to do so. What your child needs is what he needs, and maybe in your eyes that one isn’t even necessary, but in your child’s heart it’s what he wants. Whether you buy or not, please respect your child’s desires, you can not meet, but you can not be self-righteous to judge. Rich or poor parenting depends on the mindset of the parents and has little to do with financial ability. Some parents who are worth millions of dollars go to Hong Kong and bring their children a bunch of children’s clothes costing thousands of dollars because that is what the parents want. While the child’s favorite stickers or rocking car, but often fight with the child, to create a sense of scarcity for the child. Such a child grows up a bit and tends to become lustful, and it’s hard to make up for a childhood sense of scarcity when the sports car list climbs up and buys it. Then everyone will sigh: it is the parents are too spoiled, resulting in the child so extravagant and wasteful. Spoiled is almost a Chinese label, the child out of any problem to spoil on the paste, typical Chinese burnt logic. Those who claimed that the rich will raise the child into Li Tianyi netizens, according to this logic, is not the poor child to become Magazhou? Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is well known to all, human beings a hierarchy of needs to meet the natural progression to a higher level, which is only natural common sense, to their own children, some people even gave birth to “the more satisfied, the more addicted to the more crazy requirements,” the delusion, and this delusion as a theoretical basis, from time to time to fight with the child’s needs, is not to let the child smooth! Happy. Poor body poor moment, poor heart poor three generations, poor heart of people once they have the power will be prone to extravagance, Liu Zhijun Cheng Kejie and other famous corrupt officials have recalled that the origin of the poor is the “thought of deviation” of one of the reasons. 4, the desire is very good, you deserve all the best things Sincerely face the child’s needs, do not fight with the child’s parents, will find the child’s heart is so pure and easy to meet. Xiaoyu in the consultation met a full-time mother’s son 4 years old, introverted timid, see people never whistle, also not willing to share snacks or toys with others. Because of the long-term restriction on chocolate, her son became addicted to chocolate. Then the mother, introspective, decided to completely release the restrictions, went to Hong Kong to buy a suitcase of chocolate. The kid couldn’t believe it at first and asked his mom if all these are for me. Mom confirmed that this is all for you, you can eat as much as you want. As a result, the child took the initiative to chat with the cab driver all the way to the elevator to see people on the whistle, take the initiative to share, simple and happy as a little sparrow. A box of chocolates brings the child heavenly joy and an abundant flow of energy. For a child, the joy is not in the price tag, but in being fully seen and responded to by their parents. I read a great quote online: If I can eat 2 pieces of chocolate and you are willing to give me 10, the remaining 8 pieces are saying: I love you. The chronic sense of childhood deprivation gradually solidifies into an inner black hole, and it’s the black holes of adulthood that are the ones that really want to be filled. The black holes of adulthood can still be healed through self-awareness. If you project your worst imaginings onto your children, and transfer the pain of your own scarcity by suppressing their wants and desires, and call it the best thing for them, you will destroy at least three generations. Where parents fulfill their children in childhood, the child will be fluid and unattached in the future, free to experience higher levels of need. A child whose sense of security is fully satisfied will not only dare to ask for safe and harmless people in the future; a child whose material needs are responded to by his parents in a timely manner will not only stay at the level of earning money in his pursuit of life; a child whose needs are fully satisfied and free in all aspects will naturally blossom into an incredibly gorgeous life. Most of the most outstanding artists and philosophers in history came from wealthy families or were supported by nobles. Parents, rich or poor, can convey to their children that your desires are beautiful and that you deserve the best of everything. Then the child will naturally have an abundance of material goods and will not be obsessed with extravagance. 5, written in the back Please do not educate your child that every grain is hard, but share with him the joy of working and getting money; please do not nag your child to cherish spending money, but tell your child that you are worthy of a rich and beautiful material life; please do not talk about how hard it is to raise a family, but tell us about the pride and satisfaction of your struggle for the family; for the sake of your child’s future spiritual and material abundance, please take back the heaviness of our life and the sense of scarcity. For the sake of our children’s future spiritual and material abundance, please take back the heavy and scarce feeling we have towards life and pass on hope and abundance to the next generation.