Children crying is a situation that most parents find difficult to accept, or do not know how to deal with. Because of this, we tend to use the simple and brutal “no” to treat children, and even reprimand, intimidate and even corporal punishment. But do parents know? Repressing your child’s emotions again and again will bring him 6 major hazards! Parents should be attentive to the child’s feelings, to 4 clever and safe way to help children release emotions, children can soon become relaxed and happy. The 6 hazards of suppressing emotions in children When you see a child crying at home, the first reaction of parents is often “don’t cry, you have to be a brave child”. If the child continues to cry, we may threaten him: “If you cry again, mommy won’t like you!” “If you cry again, I will ignore you!” “If you cry again, the police will come to arrest you!” Or even treat them with reprimand or even corporal punishment. Under the heavy pressure of parents, children have to make themselves quiet. However, the child so suppressed their emotions, can not find a suitable outlet to release, the emotions will accumulate more and more, causing emotional block. When a child is emotionally blocked, he often dwells on these unpleasant emotions and cannot extricate himself, so that the following conditions occur: 1, internal panic, loss of security, become withdrawn, closed. 2, more and more emotions, to the moment of holding, and finally to parents unpredictable and more destructive way to explode. 3, entangled in emotions, can not see other, or lose interest in other things, hindering the development of the child in all aspects. For example, curiosity weakened, lose interest in new things, enthusiasm for learning declined or even disappeared completely, become timid, clingy, grumpy …… 4, learned from parents the same rough way to deal with emotions, lack of understanding of others and their own emotions, unable to perceive the feelings of others keenly, or indifferent to the feelings of others, emotional sensibility Weak, low emotional intelligence. 5. Pressured to behave stoically in front of parents, trying to win their hearts by doing so. Once separated from their parents and given the right opportunity, they take out their negative emotions on objects weaker than themselves. Such as attacking small partners, in front of grandparents (grandparents) to behave brutally unreasonable, etc.. 6, suppress their own emotions, used to “strong” false mask to show others. When encountering unbearable frustration, but more lack of resilience. Crying is the best way for children to express their needs and release their emotions. In fact, crying is an innate instinct of children, and can be used to effectively express their needs before their verbal skills are developed. 1. Crying is the easiest and fastest way for children to release their emotions until they have more skills to handle them. If we use “stop crying” to stop our child, we are telling him that crying is not a good behavior, his emotions are not important, his feelings are not important, he is being vetoed, think how bad it is! And if we don’t force the child to stop crying, but stay with him and express our understanding with a simple sentence or two, and then quietly wait for him to cry for a minute or two afterwards, we will be surprised to find that the little one’s crying will become less and less, and gradually return to calm. Once calmed down, the child’s face will show a satisfied look, and may even break into tears, and turn to do other things happily. 2. The older the child, the lower the chance of crying. Allow your child to cry for a while, the child will be more full of power and stronger. Some parents may be concerned that if they don’t stop him from crying, he will become a little “crybaby”? In fact, this concern is superfluous. As children get older, they are less likely to cry. Allow your child to cry for a while when he wants to, his needs will be met, he will be more powerful inside, he can become stronger, the less likely to cry. 3, calmly face the child’s emotions, moderate empathy, moderate appeasement, and not be swayed by the child’s emotions. Of course, if we endlessly use words to comfort the child, or give him reasoning, such a way is equivalent to constantly pulling the child back into the unpleasant experience. Then, the more the child is comforted and the more he hears all kinds of reasoning, the more difficult it will be for him to be soothed. Therefore, parents should appropriately respond to emotions with emotions, and the child’s emotions will soon cloud over. 4 Ways to Help Your Child Release Emotions In addition to allowing your child to cry, we can also do something to guide your child to master more skills to deal with emotions. When your child reacts violently, try the following methods: 1. Doodle Together with your child, draw his upset with pen and paper. To get closer to the child, we can also find a reason for our own upset and draw it together with him, telling him about it as we draw. Afterwards, we can also finish the unhappy drawing. For example, we can tear it up, burn it, bury it in the ground, or put it in a dark room. …… 2. Make up stories Stories move children more than lectures. Find some picture books related to emotional processing, read and discuss them with your child, and he will naturally learn more ways to deal with his emotions without pressure. If you don’t have a suitable picture book, you can make up a story to tell your child off the top of your head. You can even tell a story about yourself when you were a child, so that your child can realize that mom and dad also encountered the same problems when they were young, and that these are no big deal, and that there is always an appropriate way to solve the problem. 3. Set up an emotional venting corner Buy your child a plastic notch, or prepare a large pillow, discarded newspapers, etc., and put it in a corner. Whenever he is upset, he can go to this fixed hidden corner to let off some steam. If the child can punch, kick, tear and other ways to let out their emotions, naturally will not hurt themselves, others and affect the environment by way of releasing emotions. 4, other ways In addition to the above, we can also calmly hold the child for a while, touch his little body, provide him with the opportunity to play with water …… many ways can effectively help children to release emotions. In short, emotions are an innate human instinct, and are an inevitable response to the stimuli of our external environment, no matter how good or bad. As long as we put ourselves in our child’s shoes, we can be sensitive to his feelings and provide him with more techniques to release his emotions in a way that is acceptable and safe for him. In the face of that grumpy, whiny little guy, we can be calm and relaxed, much less tangled.