Last Saturday I attended the OA (Overeaters Anonymous) meeting in Beijing, where I saw bulimics who have been in recovery for many years still persistently adding to their recovery lives, and I also saw their enthusiasm and selflessness in helping those who come after them. At the same time, I wonder how to make such a form of help more accessible to the Chinese people, and what form of help could be better for the caregivers of eating disorders who suffer from the disease, in addition to the patients. Is it a self-help organization like ala-non (Alcoholics Anonymous Family Association)? Where is the ‘higher power’ of the nation? To this end, I extended an invitation to Dr. Song Cuilin, a graduate psychiatrist from Shougang Hospital – ‘How about holding your traditional culture and mind-body health salon at our hospital? Invite the caregivers of eating disorders to come together?’ Dr. Song readily agreed and responded quickly, finalizing today’s gathering within two days. Dr. Song has been dedicated to the treatment of psychosomatic disorders for many years, and eventually locked the solution in the dissemination and transmission of traditional culture. Having initially spent six months with eating disorder patients and families during his studies at our hospital, he has since formed an inseparable bond. In Dr. Song’s eyes, a large part of the reason why these intelligent patients and their smart and capable parents were caught in the mire of eating disorders and unable to extricate themselves was because they failed to follow the traditional cultural path, and the in-depth study and practice of traditional culture became the way to their salvation. I have heard that Dr. Song’s conviction and enthusiasm have influenced a group of people who have benefited from following the study process. When thinking of the ‘higher power’ of the nation, this part naturally comes to mind. Today’s gathering was hosted by Dr. Song and two teachers she had invited to share their experiences mainly in traditional cultural practice. The number of participants was about 20, and because of the lively discussion, the expected 2-hour salon lasted almost 3 hours. Most of the participants had previous experience in attending such gatherings. The procedure of the salon was that the parents who had no experience in attending described their current dilemma and told their doubts, and then the experienced parents and teachers started to analyze and share their experience. During the discussion, several topics that caught my attention were: the central role of women (wives) in family harmony and health, the active ‘three obedience and four virtues’; the family tree theory – grandparents as the root, parents as the trunk, children as the fruit, protecting the root as the foundation, connection as the way; gratitude to heaven and earth, teaching by example more than by word; accepting everything as it is, changing oneself We should start from now. Perhaps the details of the discussion did not specifically address the challenges I was concerned about, but I still felt that I found some of the answers during the ongoing interaction. For example, if a patient with an eating disorder progresses to the point of abandoning the bottom line of his or her personality and commits a crime such as stealing or prostitution, a parent who has tasted the consequences and entrusted himself or herself to the ‘traditional cultural way’ may take the initiative to bring the child to justice, while saying those four true words – -I’m sorry, please forgive, thank you, I love you! (I’m sorry I didn’t raise you according to the Way and failed to give you the capacity for healthy mental behavior; please forgive me for the harm I caused you and for the fact that I’m just now learning to change; thank you for giving me this opportunity to change; I will always love you and you as a person and nothing else) Also, I have a new understanding of the phrase about the centrality of women in family harmony. The ‘active three subordinate four virtues’ is even a kind of flirtation for me, because I have very contradictory feelings about traditional culture. On the one hand, I feel that the profound and profound – the civilization of the last five thousand years, the immortal vitality of the Chinese nation, are perpetuated by it, is not it? But on the other hand, I feel that there is too much dross in it, the three rules, the three subordinates, the four virtues, is not the feudal thinking? I grew up with ‘equality for all’ education of women is the most annoying is this set of ‘rules’ that put women in the lowest position! I can say that as soon as I hear the words related to this, it is like a thorn in my body to erect. Today, I let myself listen quietly. Also with years of psychiatrist honesty and years of family life, I think I heard something different, not the passive submission and forbearance of giving up my ego, but the active inclusion and attunement supported by a strong ego. It seems abstract, but it feels somewhat relieving. Synthesizing today’s experience, I believe that the practice of traditional culture is also a practice of spirituality, and that the precise interpretation, practice and embodiment of traditional culture allows one to connect with this ‘higher power’ and make life changes. However, like AA and OA, I don’t want to bet all on this one path, because not many people can accept traditional cultural practices. Dr. Song said those who can’t accept it are not ‘blessed’ enough, I think this word is used too fatalistically, I rather understand that everyone is good to take a different path, ‘higher The ‘higher power’ can be traditional culture, or other things, such as Buddhism, Zen, or someone close to you, as long as it connects with you, makes you feel powerful, guided and blessed, it is enough. Believe in the ‘higher power’, believe that it can give us the power to calmly accept what cannot be changed, have the courage to change what can be changed, and have the wisdom to recognize the difference between the two.