I’m a radiologist and probably have the most contact with cancer patients other than oncologists.
From my 20s with plain X-rays to my 50s with CTs and MRIs, I see patients with suspected cancer from every department almost every day. The first time I saw a patient, I was able to see the results of the test.
It turns out that it was only because I hadn’t met it yet.
Helping others to screen for tumors, but becoming a patient myself
At the end of July 2003, I was helping a patient from thoracic surgery get an MRI when I suddenly became nauseous and couldn’t even reach for the table. I thought I had eaten something bad the day before and didn’t pay much attention to it. For several days in a row, my appetite was not good. My loved ones urged me several times to see my colleagues at work, but I didn’t take it seriously because I was in good health and usually had very few colds. The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem.
On September 15, I was working on my shift when I suddenly became dizzy and light-headed, and almost fell down in my room. The company’s staff was nervous and helped me register for cardiology, thinking I had a heart problem. The diagnosis came quickly, and my cardiology colleagues sent me directly to oncology, where I ended up with a paper diagnosis of liver cancer: intrahepatic tumor, 3.3 cm in diameter.
Tumors come and go, and one hour you’re screening someone for a tumor, and the next hour you’re a tumor patient.
The tumor came as soon as it could, and one hour after that, I was a tumor patient.
Ar-He knife cryotherapy, the first step to freezing tumors
My oncology colleagues suggested that I find a major hospital to do “argon helium cryotherapy” for liver cancer, which is a minimally invasive treatment for tumors.
Before the treatment, I also looked up information about argon helium cryotherapy. The Ar-He knife is a special rapid freezing device that allows the temperature around the knife to drop at a rate of 10 degrees Celsius per second, lowering the tissue temperature around the knife to below -150 degrees Celsius in a matter of seconds, thereby completely freezing the tumor tissue around the knife. The Ar-He knife can be guided by CT, ultrasound, and other imaging equipment to directly penetrate the tumor through a 2-3 mm skin incision with little to no damage to the body’s normal tissue structure.
As a doctor’s occupational disease, after reading some domestic and international literature and feeling almost understood, I accepted my colleague’s suggestion. The treatment was soon done at a hospital near home, and the results were not bad.
Since then, I have been having monthly reviews, paired with some anti-cancer medication. I didn’t act panicky because I’m a doctor myself. I’m usually the one who makes the decisions at home, so my loved ones are in good shape, except for the daily reminders to remember to take the medication, and there are no major changes at home.
At that time, I was very confident that I could take down the cancer in one fell swoop.
I think it’s a good idea to have a good time.
A new lesion suddenly appeared, and I decided to be the “drug king” myself
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In February 2004, just after the Lunar New Year, I went to the hospital for a follow-up exam, and two new lesions in the liver were suspected on the MRI.
The problem was somewhat troubling, I realized clearly in my psyche. “The hospital at home may not work, we have to find a new, more specialized oncology hospital.” I combined in my mind that the suspected recurrence seemed to be breaking through a small hole in my mental defenses. I quickly gave myself a precautionary shot and reminded myself to adjust.
After half a month of thinking about it, I finally bit the bullet and went to a specialized oncology hospital in Beijing, one of the best oncology hospitals in the country.
I think it’s a good idea to take a look at the new lesions.
I was scared, and I was worried.
The first time I saw the company, I thought it would be a good idea to take a look at it. When I woke up, my clothes were wet and my forehead was still sweating.
During that time, all sorts of other problems came up and the pressure was particularly high. The company’s business is not doing well and is facing closure, so it can’t keep its job. But the old man at home is a medicine jar, and there is a fixed amount of medical expenses every month, and my lover’s job is unstable, and my daughter will graduate soon, with work waiting to be done ……
Compared to six months ago, I feel exhausted. I can’t get the money, but the disease can’t be left untreated. Many people advised me to go for another argon helium cryotherapy procedure, but I was no longer as dry as I was the first time. I decided not to have surgery first and treated myself. I bought a lot of Indian generic drugs and took them myself. At first, I was a bit proud of myself, fortunately I am a doctor, these are not difficult to defeat me. The company’s main goal is to provide a comprehensive range of products and services to the public.
Embolism, no improvement in Chinese medicine, can you still save yourself?
It seemed that I could not cure myself, so I went back to the hospital and had selective hepatic artery embolization at one of our local cancer hospitals. Unfortunately, the procedure was not successful and the $20,000 treatment bill was lost. I was heartbroken and continued to rely on herbs for maintenance when I returned home.
The standard name for what is often referred to as liver cancer intervention is “transhepatic artery chemoembolization,” which inhibits, destroys, and blocks the blood vessels that supply blood to the tumor, so that the tumor tissue grows out of reach and dies without blood supply. The standard name is “transhepatic artery chemoembolization,” which is the result of the unique anatomical feature that the liver has a dual hepatic artery and portal vein blood supply structure.
After taking Chinese medicine off and on for most of the year, my condition still did not improve, and the controversy over whether Chinese medicine can cure tumors grew. The first time I saw this, I was able to get to the hospital.
Surgery for infection into critical illness, 8 surgeries in a life-or-death situation
It just so happened that a friend of my daughter’s was interning at a good hospital, and in March 2005, with his help, I was admitted to their hospital and subsequently had a laparoscopic cholecystectomy + radiofrequency ablation of the tumor. I thought there would be no more problems since my gallbladder was removed. But then the accident happened again, and the surgery developed an unexpected infection.
For 35 days, I had a constant fever of 40 degrees, sweating profusely, and confusion. After all these years of being a doctor, I know what an infection means, and I was lying in the ICU even remembering the raging atypical pneumonia of two years ago.
I had a lot on my mind, and I didn’t know how to get rid of it, and I didn’t know if I would ever see my family again. I was able to ask the nurse for a pen and paper to write my first suicide note. I’ve already consumed my family’s savings, and I don’t have anything to leave to my loved ones and children. I still want to write a few words to them, and to my parents, who are old, and if I go, I have to give an account to my big brother.
It was particularly clear in my mind that I had sorted everything out, but my body couldn’t carry me, and I was interrupted by infectious shock before I finished writing my first will. The first time I was in the ICU for a month, I thought it was hopeless and gave myself another death sentence.
Both wills were not finished, but my beloved brought them back and kept them. The first time I saw this, I was able to get to the end of the day. The thing is, I was told to try my best to take care of myself.
My daughter’s command was only to do as she was told. The first two times I didn’t finish writing, I also felt that God was looking out for me, and I didn’t dare to let anything happen to me and give them trouble. The first time I saw it, it was a very good idea. The first time I saw it, I was scared, but I was so numb that I was looking forward to the next time I could sign it.
While signing the notice of critical illness, my wife was raising money. The ICU (Intensive Care Unit) was like a lion, opening its bloody mouth and swallowing the money she had borrowed so easily. The money was used to give me a “torturous and life-saving” surgery to control the infection.
From March 20 to May 6, I had eight punctures, drains, and open abdominal surgeries. I was so drowsy that I could feel the heartbreaking pain, and I even had one puncture that brought tears to my eyes on the operating table. I had not cried for nearly 40 years, but I lost to liver cancer. I lost more than 30 pounds in one fell swoop.
I shook hands with the tumor after my condition worsened and I had an intervention
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In November 2007, I was hospitalized again and underwent an intervention for my worsening condition, and this time the results were more satisfactory. I had a second intervention in January 2008 to consolidate the results. I have had 13 major and minor surgeries to bring me back from death.
When I was in medical school, I heard my teachers say that a tumor is a lifelong thing, and later in my career, I often heard people say that they would “live with the tumor.
I didn’t think I’d ever get a taste of it.
Over the years, cancer has kind of shaken my hand, but I’m not afraid to get sloppy. The first thing I did was to go to my monthly checkups, and I was very nervous about any small fluctuations in my indicators. I think back to when I was a patient, I always thought that patients took life and death too seriously, and it was a slap in the face.
It is said that only those who have experienced life and death know how precious it is. I’ve been a bystander to patients for more than 30 years, but I didn’t understand the reasoning behind it, and I was able to see it clearly when I walked through the door. I used to think it was a “poisonous” chicken soup to fool young people, but after experiencing it, I realized that it was all the words and insights of people who had been there.
The road of life is never easy, but to cherish this moment and have tomorrow to look forward to is happiness.