I read an analogy that if we compare our children to a caterpillar, we are the butterfly, we can’t ask the caterpillar to fly, but we can fold up our wings and crawl slowly with the caterpillar, yes, slowly! Don’t tell your child, “Come on,” “Wake up! Get up! Go wash your face, go brush your teeth ……” Not long ago, a video called “Mom’s Song” was wildly popular on foreign websites. The creation and singing of “Mom’s Song”, is the American comedienne Anita Lanfro. 48 years old, she is a mother of three children, a flash of inspiration, she will be her own urging her children’s words written into a song. Throughout the song, all that can be heard is a mother’s urgent, undeniable urging: “Hurry up, hurry up, or you’ll be too late!” The Chinese can’t help but listen to it – it turns out that all mothers in the world are the same. The Song of Mothers describes an undeniable reality: children, like adults, live a daily life of urgency, where being fast, efficient, busy, and frugal becomes the most basic and taken-for-granted state of life. Once, parents’ advice to their children was “walk slowly, be careful of falling” and “eat slowly, be careful of choking”, but now the most common thing children hear is “eat quickly” and “do your homework quickly”. Nowadays, children most often hear “hurry up and eat”, “hurry up and do your homework”, “hurry up and play the piano”, “hurry up and go to bed”, and even “hurry up and play”. Whose rhythm has been disrupted Why do parents keep rushing their children? Because parents feel that their children are too dilly-dallying, disrupting their own rhythm, so in turn disrupt the child’s rhythm. Children’s Science and Technology Museum, 4-year-old Mengmeng in the movement by the conveyor device, tirelessly running around, turn the handle to see the ball forward, down, and then forward again …… on the side of the mother annoyed to walk around: “What’s the point of always playing one? If you keep playing with this one, you won’t have time to play with the others!” Without saying a word, she pulled up the child and left. The child, in turn, kept struggling to turn back …… “Every time I saw my two-and-a-half-year-old daughter clumsily and slowly lifting her little spoon to eat, I pressed on the side. Even though my daughter can finish her meal slowly, I really can’t stand her slow pace, so I simply take a spoon and scoop rice into my daughter’s mouth, and it has become the norm.” Ms. He, 32, says she knows this is wrong, “but I can only feel at ease when I see the rice being eaten into my daughter’s stomach.” Such scenes of urging and even substituting are not unfamiliar to most parents, right? Adults always want their children to act according to their own ideas, their own rhythm. In fact, the rhythms of life, physiological rhythms, and life rhythms of adults and children are very different. Children have their own rhythms, and what feels most comfortable, smooth, and beneficial to them is to follow their natural physiological rhythms. If a child’s rhythm of life is too fast, it can affect the body’s hormone production, which can be physically and psychologically damaging. Children who are often disrupted in their rhythm are usually characterized by precocity, irritability, poor patience, or quite the opposite, by slow reaction, self-suppression, and excessive dependence on certain things. While the first type of child learns to please others and prioritize their desires, the second type of child loses self-confidence because he or she feels that he or she is a “bad child” for not being able to meet their parents’ demands. In both cases, the child loses his or her ego. Parents who can’t stop Don’t let your child lose at the starting line, success-oriented education, higher, faster and better standards …… all drive parents to push their children according to their own standards of what they think is right, just like a mother with her child in a hurry on the way to learn the piano, fighting a war. In this, the issue of the child’s rhythm is generally ignored. Weekends and holidays, parents let their children hurry to eat, eat and hurry to do homework, drawing, playing the piano …… children not only in the school under a variety of fast-paced pressure, out of the school gate is still not allowed to leisure. Parents ignore the most important point: the weekend should not only be a day of relaxation, but also used to deeply understand the various needs of children. Ms. Li, 42, was shocked on her son’s eighth birthday when she realized that all he wanted for his birthday was “a weekend where he didn’t have to do anything. She said, “It was the first time I felt the pain in my child’s heart so vividly, and it shook me to the core.” Ms. Zhao, 32, faced the same situation. Frustrated, she says, “I have to admit that the phrase my child hears the most on weekdays is ‘hurry up’.” But she feels she has to. Her daughter is only 3 years old. She’s convinced that this rule of going faster in everything is necessary – once the pace of life slows down, there’s a good chance that she’ll be overtaken by other kids. She says, “Though I also feel that this fast pace is unreasonable and will not only deprive us of the normal life we deserve, but also go against the nature of our children.” Parents push and push, but their children still can’t go fast enough. The reason parents don’t take their children’s pace seriously at all is because they long for their children to be in sync with them. Parents think, “It’s only natural that we are one family, one whole being, with a common rhythm. This deeply ingrained subconsciousness goes a long way in preventing parents from taking into account the particular feelings of their children. A chronic, dreamy, procrastinating child causes anxiety and panic in parents who seem to see their child’s future in the speed of reaction and activity in his daily behavior. Ultimately, the child recognizes this as a deficiency, thus laying the groundwork for future anxiety-inducing problems. Parents may not see this, all they see is competition and the increasing competition in the future, they become tense and sensitive, panicky about the hollowness and emptiness in their own lives, and so naturally act as their child’s coaches, or even demonic coaches. As a matter of fact, the study of children’s rhythm of life is only a matter of more than half a century, before children have been treated as small adults, in 1950, the German pediatrician Theodor Heilbrugge launched the first human research on children’s biological rhythm, human beings to children’s life rhythm of the particularity of the understanding of the human being. 1970, Professor Hubert Mondagne led the team of researchers to the biological and psychological rhythms of children as the subject, according to the different biological and psychological rhythms, and to the children’s life rhythm of the human being, and to the children’s life rhythm of the human being. In 1970, Prof. Hubert Mondagne led a team of researchers to conduct a complete study on children’s biological and psychological rhythms according to their age, development and living environment. Based on this, the effective learning time for preschoolers in Western developed countries is set at three and a half hours per day. This time is extended to four and a half hours in most cases. In general, elementary school children attend classes every day from 9:00 to 11:00, 11:30 or 12:00 a.m. For children who are older, at a slightly higher level, or who receive and digest information faster, a few hours are added appropriately in the afternoon, usually from 14:30 to 15:00, 16:00 or 16:30. Respecting the child’s dilly-dallying Rushing a child, in life, is a normal It is a normal phenomenon in life, and it can educate children and help them adapt to the outside world. However, when too much pushing shows up in the relationship with the child, it is usually due to the parent’s own anxieties. When parents are unable to overcome these anxieties and pass them on to their children, harm occurs without them realizing it. Often rushed back and forth by the parent, the child questions the pace of his or her life, believes that something is wrong with him or her, and either grows to identify with the parent and becomes an equally anxious person, or lives life in an extremely procrastinating way, expressing anger at the parent in this passive procrastination. Of course, it is also unfair to blame the parents all together, because they are under tremendous pressure. The current state of society no longer exists at a pace that is conducive to the body’s own development, and it is becoming even more difficult to find a suitable way of caring for and guiding children. Studying in a deeper sense, being keen on a fast pace and racing against time is a kind of subconsciousness of human beings. If from time to time we feel forced to speed up the pace of life, tired but unable to stop, it is because we subconsciously need to overcome certain fears: the fear of elders and teachers at an early age, the fear of death, the fear of a negative state of affairs, as well as the fear of depression, emptiness and a sense of confusion. Education is a long process, and the saying, “You can’t build a thousand miles without small steps, and you can’t build a river without a small stream,” is a perfect example of how it takes ten years to grow a tree and a hundred years to train a man. Nowadays, these good educational traditions are being forgotten by many people, and advertisements for “learn to write in three days” and “improve 200 points in half a month” abound in the society. The fickle and impatient social group mentality has affected the consciousness of parents, making them eager to see results, which also aggravates their inner anxiety. In terms of a child’s long-term development, introducing competition into his or her life early is more destructive than constructive: parents and schools put pressure on the child, and all this pressure on the child bounces back to the parents and teachers, and both sides are overwhelmed in the vicious interaction. Children who grow up in an atmosphere of competitive anxiety and are forced into a competitive orbit are more likely to experience feelings of powerlessness, inferiority and psychological imbalance. In short, competition that begins in childhood rarely has a winner. As a parent, it is imperative that you try to slow down the pace of life with your child. Doing so is not only about the quality of family life, but it is also crucial to the development of the child. Wouldn’t it be a failure for parents to teach their children to use their bodies and minds autonomously, but not to learn how to generate their own thoughts, to sketch and form concepts? And the skill of sketching and forming various concepts is often acquired by children in play. Slowing down is never just about stopping to catch your breath, but about sensing and feeling around, to imagine, to think. Let your child eat and dress at his own pace, thus giving him a sense of who he is and what he will do. Let him play in the way he likes in order to facilitate his visualization and conceptualization of things, thus distinguishing between imagination and reality, words and actions. All this enables him to discover himself and learn about others, and ultimately to develop a sense of self as well as of the world. In other words, once the right direction is taken, parents can easily slow down the pace of daily life without the need for complicated instructions and guidelines. The importance of play in children’s lives. Without challenge or parental assistance, a child simply plays in the bathtub, spends time with food at the table, chats with himself or his friends in his room, gazes at the clouds in the sky, catches small insects and watches spiders make their webs. …… Some of the things that may seem uninteresting and boring to a parent are the very things that make a child happy! . A line of Zen masters says, “Live your life a little more profoundly with ease.” For parents, letting Zen philosophy bring a touch of serenity to their busy mornings is also a rare lesson in life. As a mother, Taiwanese author Lung Ying-tai has touched and enlightened countless readers with her extraordinarily respectful approach to the rhythms of children and her own wisdom in stepping out of the conflict between a woman’s personal career and her role as a mother. In her book “Child, Take Your Time,” she wrote: “I, sitting on the steps of a shallow slanting sun, look at this bright-eyed child concentrating on one thing. Yes, I would have waited a lifetime for him to tie this bow with ease, with his five-year-old fingers. Take your time, child, take your time ……”