Sometimes it’s inevitable that we get angry with children who don’t change their ways. But the younger the child, the less he or she understands adults and the more likely he or she is to blame himself or herself for all the mistakes and to think, “Mom and Dad don’t love me anymore. When our children’s hearts are hurt by us, how should we reconcile with them? Yang Lan said when she talked about her children’s education, don’t be an emotional mom. Perhaps there are many unpleasant things in the adult world, but your baby is innocent, he is not your “punching bag”, do not take out your life’s grievances on your child’s body. 1, first you have to make peace with yourself The first thought parents have when they realize that their discipline is out of control is usually “self-blame”. Look at the child’s frightened and obedient look, impulsive parents and remorse and heartache, many parents in the “storm” after, can not help but exhaustive ways to make up, repair the parent-child relationship. Parents are often preoccupied with “coaxing” their children, rarely reflecting, understanding themselves, so that the next time the same impulsive emotions overwhelmed, into a vicious circle. Therefore, parents should forgive themselves and make up with themselves with a “learned experience” mentality, so that they can build a close parent-child relationship with their children in a relaxed and constructive manner. Reflect on your emotional state at the time. Before reconnecting with your child, you may want to reflect on the reasons why you lost control of your discipline. Was it because you were in a bad mood because of something that bothered you? Is it because you are not feeling well? Or did you lose patience because you had told your child many times to no avail? Reorganize your thoughts. If you have found the reason for your temper tantrum, the next step is to rethink what you want and possible solutions. For example, do you find yourself particularly concerned about your child talking back because his or her manner of speaking is uncomfortable? Or do you not allow your child to have personal thoughts? What kind of child do I want to raise? Settle yourself. The next time a situation like this occurs, you may want to take a cold approach, for example, if you find yourself about to explode, leave the scene to calm down or have a glass of water to give yourself some time. You can also silently recite in your mind “calm calm” to organize the emotions. 2, six steps to make peace with your child When you have successfully found the reason for your emotional outburst, and have prepared a plan for the next similar incident, then the next step is to think about how to make peace with your child. The first step: confess your mistakes to your child. In fact, as long as we show weakness, children can easily forgive us. Parents may want to squat down and explain to the child why they just lost their temper, ask him to forgive their impulse, let him know that your emotions have calmed down and that you love him anyway. For example, “I’m sorry, did I scare you just now? Are you feeling okay now?” Encourage your child to say what he or she is feeling to prevent it from being bottled up inside. Step 2: Let your child know the lessons you’ve learned. Parents often just scold their children in a general way, “Why are you so disobedient?” And then the child actually does not know what he or she has done wrong. So when asking for forgiveness, you might want to explain to your child the lesson you learned on reflection: “Mom should not have spoken like that even though she was angry and sad. If mom says next time, “I was angry because I felt cheated when you told me you were going to bed and you were still playing with your toys.” Would you understand if you said that?” This will make it easier for the child to understand what you mean next time. Step 3: Ask him what you want mommy to do next time. Children like to feel respected. When your child does repeatedly fail to listen and you are angry about it, you may want to take the initiative and promise yourself that you will not just lose your temper next time, but that the same mistake will happen again and what your child would like mommy to do. “When mommy is angry, what do you want mommy to say if you understand with this incident?” “The next time the same thing happens and you don’t want mommy to lose her temper, what do you want her to do?” Step 4: Next time let your child take the initiative to remind you. After this incident you can make a little pact with your baby, “Next time when mommy loses her temper, you take the initiative to remind mommy ‘not to get mad’, okay?” Such a method can control their emotions to avoid an injury incident, but also to make the child realize that the mother will be angry, they are not also doing something wrong. Step 5: Go back to the original point of the matter and talk about it. The child for you to just emotional outbursts expressed understanding, but in order to avoid the same stressful events happen again, parents should be for this matter, give him a good education lesson, remind the child not to make mistakes next time. For example: “Just mommy told you to eat and collect toys, you said and did not do the same. If you do it again, what can you do that won’t make mommy think you’re lying to me.” Then discuss how the matter can be solved, and the child will know how to do better next time. Step 6: Thank your child for forgiveness. The final step in making up with your child, not forgetting to thank your child for forgiveness, you can hook your fingers with your child and agree to express each other in a way that does not hurt yourself or others when you are angry, and not to lose your temper casually, but to express your mood and your thoughts in an appropriate way.