Are you worried that you and your spouse’s different parenting guidelines will have a negative impact on your child? Relax, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Your different parenting approaches may produce super-adjusted children, and the trick is for you both to maintain good communication, discuss your ideas and concerns frequently, and make decisions together. Dr. Kyle Pruett, a professor of child psychiatry at Yale University School of Medicine, says, “If I were to write a book on different parenting styles, I would generally want both parents’ parenting styles to be categorized in the same chapter on it; there are so few that can be categorized on the same page. ” Family counselor Lisa Dunning (lisa dunning) said: “The problem arises when both parents can not reach a compromise. They are too rigid in their thinking, always thinking, ‘My idea is right, your idea is wrong.’ Neither side is happy to cheerfully walk a middle path.” What exactly should parents who hold different approaches to education do? Experts offer some advice. Make some decisions while your children are present There is no harm in a couple arguing sensibly about small things in front of your children, who will gain from watching your efforts to work together to solve problems, but you must remain calm and take care to speak with facts, not emotion. Among the things we must teach our children is how to solve problems when there are opposing views,” Dunning said. The reason many children don’t know how to compromise is that their parents haven’t shown them.” Allow for disagreements on the little things You can’t control every situation, so you have to accept the fact that things won’t go the way you want them to when your spouse is in charge. Moms may give instructions like ‘no sledding on that hill’ or ‘no skateboarding,’ and dads usually think it’s okay to take a little risk,” says Pruett. Both parents just have to agree on the big safety-related things, like having to wear a seatbelt, holding a parent’s hand when crossing the street, etc.” Not tearing each other down in front of the kids Both parents should make it clear that they will never compromise on areas, such as safety measures and curfew times, but be flexible and talk about other things. If your spouse’s decision is one you can’t agree with, you should argue with him in private and not damage each other’s face in front of the kids. Family psychotherapist Fran Walfish (fran walfish) said: “Parents should never criticize or blame each other in front of their children, this is very important. Parents should be supportive, loving and united with each other in the eyes of their children.” Dunning says, “For example, if dad tells his child to go to bed early, mom thinks otherwise and hides the child from dad to come out and watch TV for a while longer. Dad’s authority is being challenged. This is not only detrimental to the child’s education, but will ultimately hurt the couple’s relationship.” Respond in a positive manner when children question their parents’ different educational approaches If children ask why mom and dad have different educational approaches, they should be told that it is normal for parents to have different views on things and that it makes your education more effective. Even after divorce, there should be some consistency in parenting guidelines If both parents are divorced, it is best to maintain some of the same parenting guidelines in their respective homes, such as both asking the children to do chores and both asking them to go to bed on time. But this state of affairs is not always possible. If you don’t have a good relationship with your ex and can’t communicate, at least educate your children while they’re in your own home so they understand what you want from them. Wulfish says, “It’s best for parents to be upfront and clear with their children, for example: when they’re at mom’s house, bedtime is earlier than at dad’s house.”