Ten months ago, I was living a colorful life and was preparing to take advantage of my annual vacation to go scuba diving in Palau. One morning on a working day, I received a call from the medical examination center that things were not looking good, prostate cancer was suspected, and I was advised to go to the hospital to see a professional doctor to confirm the diagnosis.
Isn’t prostate cancer only for older people? I’ve been living a healthy life, so how could I have cancer? The hospital must have made a mistake.
But I was persuaded by my family to go to a tertiary care urology specialist for a checkup. While waiting for the results, the doctor reassured me that many world famous people have had prostate cancer, and I immediately looked it up online:
- President Reagan, who was diagnosed with prostate cancer at age 74;
- Taiwanese writer Li Ao, diagnosed with prostate cancer at age 68;
- Stock god Warren Buffett, diagnosed with prostate cancer at age 82;
- Media mogul Murdoch, diagnosed with early prostate cancer at age 69…
But I’m only 45 years old!!!
The final diagnosis was disheartening. It was like being on a train to the unknown, with my life whizzing past me, farther and farther away, and I didn’t know where I was going. But it also fueled my desire to live, and I wanted to take a chance.
I repeatedly discussed treatment options with my primary care physician and family, and I saw many patients like me in the clinic, each with apprehension, as if waiting for a divine pronouncement. The fact that a room of a dozen square meters is filled with all kinds of life has given me a different perspective on life and death, and for the first time, I am really thinking about death.
Robotic surgery preserved my “sexual function”
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I told the attending physician that I could do whatever I wanted to do to remove the tumor completely. At that point in time, all I could think about was saving my life, and as long as I was alive, anything would be fine. So I underwent radical prostate cancer surgery, which is the removal of the entire prostate gland.
The surgery went well and I recovered well afterwards, but I had a question I wanted to ask but couldn’t say. The doctor said with a smile that the nerves of sexual function were deliberately preserved during the surgery and would not affect the life of the couple, but it would take some time to return to normal. The company’s main goal is to provide a comprehensive range of products and services to the public, and to help the public to understand more about the company.
As for the surgery, I would like to say a few words about the robotic surgery I chose at the time, which is considered relatively new in China. This surgery has less bleeding, faster recovery, and unique advantages in urology, which doctors say are related to the structure of the human urinary system.
The prostate is often referred to as the “lifeline of the male” and has two very important roles – controlling urination and maintaining sexual function. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers. The surgery therefore requires a high degree of flexibility in the surgeon’s operation and a wide and clear surgical field of view, and robotic surgery can just about meet these requirements. In less than three weeks after the surgery I regained the ability to control my urination and similarly regained my sexual function, truly a life changing technology.
In the past, prostate cancer patients were older, and the conventional wisdom was that as people get older, they have little need for sex, so removing the tumor to save their lives is most important. However, as medicine advances and people pay more attention to medical checkups, prostate cancer is being detected at a higher rate and at a younger age of onset, so patients are surviving longer and paying more attention to quality of life along with survival time.
Positive psychology helped me get over my cancer haze
Since my cancer, I have become extremely concerned with the information about prostate cancer-related knowledge. For me, the raw and difficult medical vocabulary seems to be a code to explore the mysteries of life. I am convinced that cancer is smart, that I have to adjust my mind or state of mind to live with it, and that I believe that it can feel it, just as I can feel it. I don’t want to be an enemy of it, at least for me it doesn’t do any good at all.
For a long time after the diagnosis, I tried to have a friendly talk with it, asking it to leave my body and stay out of my life, and then I said to myself, “You didn’t do anything wrong, and it’s not that you’re not kind, and you’re innocent, and being sick is just a bump in the road, just get over it.” Gradually, I seem to be less anxious and upset, and more positive about everything that comes after.
I came across positive psychology during that time, and its core theory can be summarized as the “virtue hypothesis,” in which happiness is a central concept. The founder of this school, Seligman, categorized happiness into three categories: a happy life, a good life, and a meaningful life. He argues that happiness can be “acquired” through a number of interventions that have practical value in making people happy.
Some people are naturally happy and are optimists. Other people can achieve the ultimate experience of happiness by immersing themselves in something that is much simpler than we think. For example, doing a job you are good at, immersing yourself in a sport you love, working with a charity to help more people, as long as the happiness it brings you stems from the thing itself, and not from external rewards, medals, etc., it will give you the best experience.
In fact, this ultimate experience of happiness has been recorded in ancient times in China, and the “free and easy journey” talked about in Zhuangzi is largely a wonderful experience of forgetfulness. So, I often increase my happiness experience by “deliberately practicing”, and gradually turn the practice into a habit.
I try to run twice a week, and my body produces a “stress reducer” afterwards. I also like to watch American TV shows, most recently “ER Story,” and I like to read, which gives me a more diverse perspective on the world and makes me less paranoid about issues. I also joined a charity organization that specializes in supporting cancer patients by providing not only financial help, but also psychological support. I reap the joy of helping others.
Thinking back to the night before my surgery, I sat on a hospital bench and stared at the night sky, looking back on the first half of my life with contentment.
I was born and raised in a big, happy family, where my parents respected my will and let me grow freely; I graduated in a profession I love and made a career out of it; I met the love of my life, started a happy little family, and have a lovely baby.
It’s not all smooth sailing at work, but there are turns in the road; life is not without difficulties, but there are turns at times. Even if this is the last part of my life, I have no regrets because I had a happy first half of my life.
Thank you to the doctors who gave me professional treatment and psychological comfort, and to the scientists who worked quietly for medical progress, who made it possible for me to have the privilege of receiving the most advanced treatment, and whose good recovery after surgery gave me the courage to continue living. I am also grateful for this illness, which has given me a new understanding and experience of life and a greater appreciation of each day.