I’m glad that when I was a child, my parents often quarreled, but rarely did. This is the first emotion I felt after watching a forum on the topic of “parents quarreling when I was a child”. After that, I was deep in thought. I never knew that the experience of parents quarreling as a child could have such a profound impact on a child, and the negative energy it brings is enough to destroy the child’s life, even more than the damage done to the child by the parents’ divorce. Perhaps you think some overstatement, but people who really experienced this when they were young will have the same feelings and experience. When I was young, my parents were always fighting and fighting, my father was always drunk, and whenever they got into another fight I would go out and find a corner to sit by myself for hours. Later, my father died unexpectedly, but instead, I would not let my children have such an experience, because I have experienced it. My parents fought a lot, to the point of hysteria, to the point of separation, but never divorced. Mom always says, if it weren’t for you, I would have divorced your dad! In fact, I would like to say, why didn’t you leave earlier? When I was a kid, I was scared and terrified when they quarreled, but now I’ve gradually gotten used to it. Even if they divorce in front of me now, I won’t say anything. Fear will become habit, habit will become indifference. When I was young, because my father was idle and had an affair, my parents fought all the time, and it was common for them to get into fights. I don’t remember how many times I hid under the covers in the middle of the night alone, covering my ears and shedding tears, wanting to cry but not daring to do so. Nowadays, my personality is sensitive and introverted, I can not trust any man, because of this, I have been single until now. The most lively time in the house is when they are fighting, and the quietest time is when they are in a cold war. I was in the room, outside the sound of arguing is always interspersed with money, tired, bitter words, every time I heard these, I began to ask myself again and again: why do you live? Why do you want to study? Why don’t you go and die? My classmates say I am very outgoing and lively, but only I know that I am very lonely. The marriage between my parents was full of contradictions and conflicts, and for me, it was an invisible torture. Every time I saw my classmates talking about the interesting stories of a family of three, I could only envy them, but I had no such memories. I have not quarreled with anyone so far, and then angry and aggrieved will be silently endured, can not say what specific reasons, is instinctively afraid and disgusted. I will smile when I see anyone, no one knows how many tears and torture the so-called good temper is practiced with. At any time I have an urge to pack up and never go home again. My parents brought me so many negative things that my personality had flaws that I hated. I have almost no close friends with my classmates, no close friends, and I don’t like to open up to people, let alone mention anything about my family. I’m very picky when it comes to finding a boyfriend, and it’s hard to be impressed. I don’t know how to get angry, and people always think I have a good temper, but only I know it’s because I don’t know how to express my emotions. The happiest thing for me is to see my dad smiling at my mom …… After reading it, the mood is heavy. I wrote this out without the intention of preaching any negative energy, but I want to remind those people who are parents like me in such a way: if you really love your children, please give them a warm home! I carefully collected and read the heartfelt stories of many netizens, all of whom come from different families but have some common life experiences: their parents often quarreled when they were young. From them, I found a lot of the same things. 1, there are defects in character Children growing up in such families, some have low self-esteem and sensitivity, some are timid and timid, and some are easily irritable and even have violent tendencies. An older boy said that when his parents quarreled as a child, he had always held back; then later, when his parents quarreled, he would roar at them; and now, he feels that his temper tantrum has been out of control, looking at the things that do not go his way can not help but want to vent out. 2, full of pessimism about life Many people say that due to the influence of the family, resulting in their own growth into a full-blown pessimist. Some people say that the same thing, others may see the positive, positive side of the side, while they always find a lot of negative things. 3, not confident Parents who are prone to quarrels with their loved ones, most of them treat their children also lack tolerance and patience, children can easily become the parents’ punching bag, scolding, hitting from time to time, over time, the child’s self-confidence a little bit was ruthlessly destroyed. 4, indifferent affection Many people have said that when parents quarrel, every minute is torment, can not wait to be able to immediately escape the home, the idea of leaving home many people have had. Because you can not feel the warmth and harmony of home, so the treatment of affection also seems unusually indifferent, it is difficult to do in front of the parents pampered, capricious, and even a long time after adulthood is not willing to go home. Others have said that they hate their parents even more than love. 5, social fears Children who often experience parental quarrels when they grow up have more or less social fears. They don’t like to interact with strangers, and are not good at making friends with their classmates, and their psychological defenses are too deep, making it difficult to open up to people. Maybe some people seem optimistic and outgoing on the outside, in a bunch of people can also talk eloquently, but really can go into his heart few friends. 6, affect the concept of love and choice of spouse The psychological damage brought by parental quarrels can often continue into their adulthood, as they often witness the way their parents get along with each other as a couple, making them begin to disbelieve in love or difficult to trust the opposite sex. Some people say that they don’t want to fall in love or start a family because they don’t feel how happy they are to be married and don’t know how to get along with their loved ones. 7, lack of security Mom and Dad often quarrel, and even shouting and fighting, which is every child is afraid of what happens. Children suffer from parental love, but also always have to worry about whether their parents will be separated at any time, or do not want them. Also, because of their young age, many children think that mom and dad are fighting because of their own reasons, which invariably adds to the psychological burden. Due to the long-term torment of fear, anxiety and tension, the child’s sense of security is seriously lacking. 8, will not properly express emotions Many people have mentioned a point: will not be angry, and will not fight. This “will not” has two meanings, one is not to be bothered with people, the second is not know how to express. Some people say they never dare to lose their temper with people, even if they are a little heavy on the jokes, they are obviously very angry inside, but they do not dare to express it, because they are afraid to have a conflict with people, afraid of the tension of a fight, and more afraid of hurting each other. Jiao Jiao’s mother said: Seeing this, do you still dare to continue to argue? Yes, no one wants to quarrel with their loved ones. We always have a thousand and one reasons to excuse ourselves or blame each other, so we must argue to solve. But if you have children, shouldn’t you take a look at the little one before each war? As I write this, I am reminded of a sentence that impresses me the most: the silence, patience, fear, and pleasing of children, in the eyes of numbed adults, is: understanding.
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