Cancer is a major blow to life. Many people feel alienated the moment they learn they have cancer, afraid to mention their illness, unwilling to communicate with anyone, and even avoiding relatives and friends, losing their normal human interaction. But having cancer does not mean that your life is overshadowed. After receiving standardized treatment, you still need to live, socialize and work normally.
Patients with esophageal cancer often have these concerns or confusion:
I’m afraid to tell anyone about my cancer, including my loved ones, what should I do?
After learning you have cancer, your psychological state typically goes through five stages: denial, fear and anxiety, compromise, depression, and acceptance. In the first two stages, you feel uncertain and overwhelmed, your emotions fluctuate, you don’t want to talk about your disease, you avoid the fact, and you want to hide it from everyone.
There is no right or wrong emotion. Mood swings are part of the process of trying to adjust to your illness. However, we hope you will try to talk to others about what you are experiencing, what worries you, and what kind of help you would like. Family and friends can give you ongoing support and guidance during the adjustment period so that you don’t feel like you are “on your own.
It is recommended that you try to tell the most important people in your life, such as your loved ones and family, starting with them and then expanding to other friends. You can tell them about the type of cancer you have, the treatment you will receive, and what help and care you need from them.
Whether or not you tell your children depends on their age and level of acceptance. If they are adult children, whether they are in school or fighting for their lives, it is good to tell them straight up. They have a right to know what has happened to their father/mother and should also take responsibility for your care and support. If it is a minor child, then assess his/her tolerance to decide how much information to tell him/her. But make sure he/she knows that you are not sick because he/she did something bad, and that it is not “contagious” to him/her.
For work-related relationships, you need to take some time off to get treatment, so it’s important to let your boss know.
Can I ask someone for help?
When you tell someone about your condition, I’m sure many people will ask, “Do you need me to help you?”
Your first response may be, “No, it’s fine, thanks.”
But you need the support of others in your battle with illness. Never refuse to ask for help when necessary. If you have a problem that you can’t get past, you can sit down with your closest friends and talk about your concerns. The most important thing is to make sure that you don’t become a “sister-in-law”.
There are times when your family and friends are reluctant to talk about your illness in front of you and deliberately change the subject. As a patient, if the attitude of your friends and family makes it difficult, you can tell them that you don’t need this “comfort” because it makes it seem like “I’m not a normal person”.
There are patient support groups for many diseases, and you may want to see if there is one in your city, community, or hospital. If you meet regularly with other people with esophageal cancer to learn about your disease, share medication updates, and talk about common challenges, you will find a sense of identity in the “group” and get the help you need. Similar experiences will bring you more empathy and inspiration, which will be beneficial to your physical and mental health and recovery. If you are unable to adjust on your own, it is recommended that you seek professional help.
Sometimes I always have a nameless flame that makes me want to lash out at friends and family.
After cancer, you may experience some of the following negative emotions and feelings, which can sometimes affect how you get along with your friends and family.
Anger: Why was I chosen?
Sometimes you may take out all your frustrations on loved ones, close friends, or even the health care providers who care for you. We understand your pain, anguish, and anger in the face of your illness, and you don’t have to feel guilty about it. But family and friends don’t always understand that your anger is directed at the illness, not at them. Therefore, you should explain to them at the appropriate time after the anger has subsided.
Blame and guilt: If it weren’t for …… I wouldn’t have this disease!
Some people blame themselves or others for having cancer, trying to make excuses for the disease to happen. For example, “If my husband wasn’t mad at me every day, I wouldn’t ……” Of course, you would feel better mentally if you could identify the cause of your illness. But even doctors don’t know the exact cause of cancer, so you don’t need to blame yourself or others.
Resentment: I’m so sick, why are you still ……
During treatment and recovery, resentment and irritability may well up from time to time due to the pain of your illness and the trivial and arduous nature of the treatment process. Loved ones may also feel impatient with your attitude. It is helpful for everyone to suggest that you can regularly discuss your feelings openly with your family rather than burying your resentment.
Withdrawal and self-isolation: Ignore me!
During your illness, you sometimes need to spend time alone in order to sort out your thoughts and emotions. But this action may be difficult for family and friends to understand. It can be reassuring to be able to tell them, “I don’t want to talk about my illness right now, and I won’t talk to you about it until I’m ready.
Will I be able to go out with my best friends when my treatment is over? Can I return to work?
- If you are an early stage patient, please make sure you understand that it is possible to cure the tumor with surgical treatment.
Studies have shown that the 5-year survival rate after surgical resection of early-stage esophageal squamous carcinoma is 85% to 90%, and the 5-year survival rate for minimally invasive treatment can be 85% to 95%.
When your body recovers, your life, social life, and work can be completely on track. Once you are stable, if you are willing to work again, this will bring many health benefits. The regularity of your life, the richness of your relationships, and the sense of accomplishment and value you get from your work can help you get over the weight of your illness and regain confidence in your life. These benefits are difficult to obtain from a purely domestic life.
However, esophageal cancer surgery is a relatively complex and major operation, even if minimally invasive, it can be quite traumatic and recovery from the disease can take a relatively long time. It is recommended that you take at least six months to recuperate before returning to work. You can engage in your original work, but it is best to reduce the intensity appropriately. Overexertion can lead to a decrease in immunity, which may “overwhelm” the tumor cells and lead to a recurrence of the old disease.
- Patients with advanced disease can return to society to some extent after regular treatment and stabilization, if they are not in serious discomfort.
As long as you follow your doctor’s advice and receive standardized treatment, patients with advanced disease can also survive with tumors, and your daily life and social life will not be affected.
Esophageal cancer may have complications such as difficulty swallowing. When you get together with friends and family, you can explain to them and try to choose foods that are easy for you to eat, such as drinking congee, wonton, or fish soup.
If your health allows, you can also work moderately, such as finding a job that you can do at home that is not too intense, and get back to living an active, meaningful life.
Lastly, I want to remind you of the prerequisite for getting your life back to normal: be sure to review on time.